Illiterate listings

kats_meowDecember 27, 2009

What is up with all the grammatical errors and misspellings in so many listings. From just one listing:

mobil home, garage appartment, movil home (repeated this spelling several times), dinning room in the movil home, very good size kitchen into the movil home, Almost finished one large bedroom appartment w/full bathroom and tub. Material to finished it is sitted inthere, conections

Another listing shows a picture of the kitchen and points out the excessive cabinets and counter space. Surely, the agent meant to say extensive.... (DH commented that the cabinets did look excessive, however).

Another listing: y6our, grat (clearly should have said great), Dive in in this wonderfull and enjoy the summer wheather right on you back yard

Does no one proof these listings? Just amazed.

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I'm telling you. It's like they threw a few words together at the last minute. I often assumed it was just the agent throwing a few words together to get it on MLS as soon as possible...WITH intentions of going back and "fine tuning" later (still sloppy, but...). HOWEVER, it stays like that for the duration! Some examples I've seen are:

"home has valued ceilings..." (vaulted)
"crime in area has decreased" (WOW)
"the teh master bed-room" (the master bedroom)
and the best (worst) I've seen (this one is just funny, not really poorly written):

"Enter the red (red=good luck!) door and be transported back to yesteryear. The young lady coming down the stairs to her first date. Mom and Pop sitting on the sweeping front porch sipping iced tea watching the sunset, and little junior playing in the backyard. Yes, truly a time machine and for only $359,900!"

OMG, "time machine"?! Whatever! Pure cheese.


    Bookmark   December 27, 2009 at 9:03PM
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I'm way too anal to let a misspelling or typo or something cheesy to be listed in conjunction with MY house on the MLS... lol! I'd quickly be calling my agent and asking for it to be fixed.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2009 at 10:05PM
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It's because some agents are idiots! LOL
One of my favorites mentioned "coiffured ceilings" (did they need to be blown dry?). Another was proud of the "Wayne's coating" in the dining room. I work in a RE office and one of our agents wrote that the kitchen had "carrion counters", I thought that the kitchen must really smell with all that rotting flesh around. Sadly, she was the second agent for that listing and just copied what the previous agent had written in their remarks.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2009 at 10:36PM
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I've often wondered if there is money to be made in being a "ghost writer" for RE descriptions. If the Realtor wrote the listing, I would question his/her competence and would be reluctant to do business with her/him. If the Realtor is aware of the lack of basic English skills, then it is incumbent on him/her to have someone with those skills edit the description. At the very least, the owner of the brokerage ought to be following up on poorly written listings because ultimately it reflects negatively on the brokerage. (Is it making a leap to assume that the broker has basic skills in written English?)

    Bookmark   December 27, 2009 at 11:29PM
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I totally agree. Misspellings and poor grammar in a listing means to me that the agent is undereducated and that he or she will be sloppy in other parts of his work.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 7:48AM
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It is sad that any adult in this day and age doesn't have the basic skills in written and sometimes "spoken" English. As a real estate broker, I am often embarrassed to send out listings to my clients thru MLS. I just hope they realize that because I am the one sending them, I am not always the one writing them.

I think its worse when you are talking to someone and they repeatedly use the wrong words in a conversation. Written, it can sometimes be blamed on bad typing. But when someone speaks, there are no excuses.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 7:51AM
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Over reliance on spell check will bite anyone in the butt if you can't spell correctly in the first place. Traditional real estate "shorthand" often didn't make good grammatical sense, but expanding in to the cyber world where you have more space to make nonsense just leads to some of the examples above. My favorite example was the "styptic tank" mound system.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 8:35AM
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bmrbabe, I've pondered selling my services to other agents;
I tell people that I must have been a really mean English teacher in my past life!

When I, as an agent, see some nonsense like the "young lady coming down the stairs", I think that the agent didn't take notes & can't remember anything about the house.

When the narrative has every word spelled out (four bedrooms), I think he/she can't think of anything nice to say to fill up the space.

When there's no narrative at all, I wonder if
1) the house is so horrible that there are no words that'll help sell it or
2) the agent doesn't want any other agent to show it.

& when I see only one photo, or several photos but they're all exterior shots, especially if the narrative says something like "needs some TLC", I go "uh-oh".

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 10:44AM
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Yes, I noticed several listings with no narrative description at all although most did have photos. Then there were the ones with out of focus photos, photos so dark nothing could be seen. I also saw photos that were oriented incorrectly and one photo that seemed to a close up (blurry) of items on the kitchen counter. Not quite sure why that one was there.

Then there was the property with a guest house. All of the interior photos were of the guest house and not the main house. This did not give me the idea of wanting to see the house.

Or there was the listing where there was a link to ask the listing agent a question. I sent a question asking if there are pet restrictions in the subdivision of the listing (horses are clearly allowed, but there was no indication of other pets). I got back an email from someone else in the listing agent's brokerage telling me to call to make an appointment to see the house. I emailed back I wasn't intererested in seeing the house until I had an answer to the question (house is 50 miles away and if the pet restrictions don't work for us I would never buy the house). He responded he could only tell me the information the listing agent had listed and otherwise I have to see the house. I pointed out that my question was directed to the listing agent...

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 11:21AM
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Now y'see, that's when a buyer's agent would have come in handy.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 11:30AM
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We haven't gotten to the point of getting a buyer's agent for that area yet. I am sure we will but there were several listings for a particularly acreage subdivision and I was wondering whether to consider this listing. If there were no pet restrictions then it was fine, if there were then it isn't. Would seem like a simple question to answer and there was a link to ask the listing agent a question so I did ask.

By not answering the question, the listing agent makes it unlikely we will ever come back to that house when we do get a buyer's agent.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 12:09PM
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Exactly. With the hard, cruel economy you'd think whatever agent you emailed would have picked up a phone, and made an enquiry and gotten back to you. It's like flipping off a potential customer not to have done this much.

I was casually looking for some property the other night in a particular locality and I just wanted an idea of the pricing in general for a certain type. I hit two realty sites where you had to cough up your phone and email and 'they'd get back with you'. No thanks. I just forgot it. They could have given information and still kept other information confidential, so that if I'd been interested I would have made contact. But, that wasn't an option. I am one of those purchasers who get turned off quickly when I am obliged to set myself up for a sales spiel. I can save both of us time/trouble if I can screen a little bit first and I know what I want before I go looking. I'm that way about everything I buy, not just property.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 12:41PM
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Even though we are not looking for another house, at this time, I too am really saddened to see the misspelling, abbreviations that the average person cannot understand, crappy pictures, and like calliope, I too would like a little more descriptions and don't want to release my email or phone number. It does not take much to give a clear and informative description of any house, including price. When and if I look for another place, I will find an agent, tell them exactly what I want, such as because of health issues, everything on one floor, do some research both on line and drive by, give them addresses and go from there. If they cannot/will not work with me, I will find someone else. I don't know if they have buyer's agents in this state, but I like to interview different agents. I went thru H@!! in Ca trying to sell rural property, and will not do it again.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 2:27PM
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I'm sorry, I didn't mean to de-rail the original thread;

This is the funniest thread I've read on this forum!

Somebody, please, add some more instances of funny/illitereate listing narratives.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 3:48PM
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The property, it seems, comes with a sceptic tank.

Your on-site sewer just doesn't know whether to take you seriously or not.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 4:00PM
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I think any formality in listings escaped this agent:

Property has lots of Hwy 517 frontage for a business, like 630' on a corner and 671 deep.

This listing has some spelling problems, plus some creative use of punctuation:


In other instances you wonder what the agent was thinking and wonder what the homeowner is thinking in not screaming about the listing. I looked at one where in the first photo the description is that this is one of several beautifully appointed properties in the area in question. If I was the homeowner I would be incensed! Then in a photo of the kitchen the agent says that the funky stove/range is a very cool find. That did get my attention. Alas, there is no picture of the funky range.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 4:25PM
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This one's not "Illiterate" but I found it funny..

"OWNER FINANCING!!-*1,000.00-SELLING BROKER BONUS!*-CALL FOR DETAILS! Don't Let Boards fool you-Shows well!!"

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 5:19PM
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I'm still laughing about a listing for country property, obviously written by a city person. It states 'FREE WATER'! Um, I guess it's on a well system. That means if it breaks, it's your penny to replace it. If it doesn't test safe, it's your penny to get a chlorinator, if the electric goes out, it's your penny to buy a generator to run it, if it goes dry then it's your penny to sink a new bore hole, and of course you pay the electric bill to run it. IOW the ad doesn't make you want to run out and buy the property just to get that FREE water.

My mother sold a lovely house once with many features a realtor could have listed to pique a prospective buyer's imagination. Two lots, fireplaces, modern finished basement, central air, etc, etc, etc. Instead the first item on the description was " a permanent stoop". My mother wanted to know what in the H*** was that? I think she was referring to the concrete landing above the front steps. LOL.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 5:31PM
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"a permanent stoop"

The house had osteoporosis.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 5:51PM
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I was just looking at a listing for a sort of odd house across the street from a junior college. The agent comments that it used to be 6 separate apartments. Ok. But then she goes on to say that each room is on a "separate meteor."

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 8:15PM
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ROFLOL - that last one is just too funny. It almost makes you want to send an e-mail asking what the name of each one of the meteors are or something to that effect.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2009 at 10:45PM
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I know. I still have to wonder. Are these agents illiterate or just careless? And, why aren't their home owners screaming?

    Bookmark   December 29, 2009 at 12:22AM
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Dinning rooms galore -- they seem to be in almost every other listing I read!

And don't forget all those "tray" ceilings. Uh, psst... they're actually "trey" ceilings, Mr. and Ms. RE Agent. It's because there are three levels (hence, the "trey") of wall/ceiling space.

My personal favorite was mentioned before: "Wayne's coating."

My husband and I get a good laugh when we tour houses and point out all of these "features"...

    Bookmark   December 31, 2009 at 10:55PM
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Y'all think its just real estate listings, but it's not. It's a symptom of a society that can't/won't educate its children. Look at some of the postings here on GW, no caps, poor spelling, absent punctuation, etc. Some of them are barely readable.

Yet some of these people are, or claim to be, professionals in their fields. We have a professional in a field associated with real estate that hasn't capitalized any word other than "I" in two years and uses virtually no punctuation. Every time I read one of her the posts, I am embarrassed for the author.

Sorry, I'm ranting. I'll get off my soapbox now. Good luck in trying to get people to write actual sentences. That no longer seems to be a business requirement in today's environment.

Mores the shame.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2010 at 12:56AM
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This is from a real listing for a home that needed interior cosmetic updating . But in the same listing, the agent forgot to mention that brand new furnace and all new exterior doors, including garage door. I think the agent even forgot to mention the garage at all.

"Live in the house you grew up in."

    Bookmark   January 1, 2010 at 10:51AM
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Creek Side - rant away, it's nice to know I/we're not alone in cringing every time we see junk. My personal shtick is TV, anchor people who should either know better or have been coached before going on air. Their pronunciation of names is routinely horrific, but their use of English just as appalling. Maybe I missed a notice somewhere, but when did "to lie down" become "lay down"? Yes you can 'lay' an item down, but we're not items and to lie should still refer to what we do. There are a thousand others, but this one has topped my charts for a couple of years now!

    Bookmark   January 1, 2010 at 2:22PM
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Don't get me started on the misuse of subject and object personal pronouns on television.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2010 at 7:29PM
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"the misuse of subject and object personal pronouns "

I think younger people think that "me" is poor English.

Remember Marilyn Monroe's character, I think it was in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", who was always talking about "a girl like I"?

It was hilarious at the time;
I wonder if anybody would get it today.

    Bookmark   January 2, 2010 at 2:34PM
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I always see typos. I often wonder how people get to their level of achievement with such gross errors! It makes me crazy.

    Bookmark   January 2, 2010 at 2:46PM
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While I tend to agree with creek side about younger generations having different cultural norms (details like grammer and spelling are of no consequence, you can correct them but they don't care or understand why they should), I've seen plenty of bad listings by slightly more middle aged agents too. When did the Barney show start?

    Bookmark   January 2, 2010 at 6:36PM
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The problem must be with the schools, the boards who don't know better (or care?) to check out the curriculum, not telling the principals to crack down on teachers too young or ignorant to bother and everyone heading to the lowest common denominator thinking everyone will be happy (and less trouble) at that level. Sheesh!

    Bookmark   January 2, 2010 at 6:59PM
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The problem has been a long time coming.

I'm fifty-something. A colleague of my mother's entered the teaching career a decade or so after my mother. Even then, back in the mid to late seventies, the newer teacher opined that students needed to be allowed to express their ideas freely, without having their enthusiasm or creativity stifled by too many rules.

Add to that the broadly held belief that people need to be praised and rewarded regardless of how little effort they exert in their work.

It is getting to the point though, that some posts on the internet are indecipherable. People go without help because they can't make themselves understood.

    Bookmark   January 3, 2010 at 11:24AM
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"I think younger people think that "me" is poor English."

And anyone know what's up with 'myself' as the substitute?
(That is of course, when 'I' is not used instead.)

    Bookmark   January 3, 2010 at 3:56PM
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Myself knows that! ;)

    Bookmark   January 3, 2010 at 11:43PM
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Just saw this strange property description and thought of this thread.

Hey big spenders. Wouldnt you like to have fun fun fun??. How's about a few laughs laughs???. 1 can get you a good time. In one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine. With their unique and splendid designs,the minute you walk in the joint,its like walking into another world so far away this home is so unique and unusual that all your worries could fly away and you will feel like you are in a tropical resort in cabo somewhere. From the unique color scheme design elements grand staircase, beamed valulted ceilings, onto the main entertaining level with glass sliding doors opening onto a large patio with infinity pool, totally unique custom tile designs and features here that will dazzel you every way you look not to mention the views to die.

This listing just says strange to me, on the market 300 days, Why increase, decrease, increase?
Price Increased: 04/21/09 -- $3,495,000 to $3,595,000
Price Reduced: 07/09/09 -- $3,595,000 to $3,575,000
Price Increased: 09/27/09 -- $3,575,000 to $3,595,000

Is the seller odd, the LA odd, or both?
Just looking at the listing on the Internet, makes me think it might be difficult to deal with the "other side".
But it was correct it did give me a few laughs.
BTW, I wasn't really considering the house, just looking at an area.

    Bookmark   January 4, 2010 at 11:00AM
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The lister must love the song from "Sweet Charity" called "Big Spender." Check out the lyrics. Even so, it's a very strange listing!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2010 at 11:36AM
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OMG! Run the other way as fast as you can (I would!). Someone's been smoking something funny. And the pricing reflects that also. Yaaagh!

    Bookmark   January 4, 2010 at 4:24PM
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"Hey big spenders. Wouldn't you like to have fun fun fun??. How's about a few laughs laughs???"

If I went to town and said that on the street, I'd be arrested for soliciting.

    Bookmark   January 4, 2010 at 10:41PM
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forgot to add:

here, "tray" ceilings are angled upward on each side & flat across the middle, like a tray.

The ones you're callling "trey" ceilings are called "step" ceilings, 1-step or 2-step.
A 1-step would make a 2-level ceiling;
2 steps would make a 3-level or "trey" ceiling.

cmarlin, was that thing on the MLS?

It sounds like something from craigslist's personal columns, posted by someone whose first language is not English or Spanish or French.

    Bookmark   January 5, 2010 at 9:47AM
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Yes, it is a listing on the MLS, I didn't even look at the pics until after posting the funny description, certainly not a decor for all tastes.
What is that room at the entry with the fireplace? We get to see 2 1/2 pics of an interesting sink.
Does that bath with the iron over the sink not have a mirror?

Here is a link that might be useful: 234 Poppy, CdM

    Bookmark   January 5, 2010 at 1:18PM
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cmarlin20, the link you posted requires registration. Darn.

    Bookmark   January 8, 2010 at 1:19AM
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Need to find a buyer with rather odd tastes.

If the link doesn't work it the MLS number is U9001178

Here is a link that might be useful: 234 Poppy

    Bookmark   January 8, 2010 at 5:00AM
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These aren't so much illiterate as they are...distracted-sounding.

as though the agent was writing while ordering a hamburger at the drive-thru.


"What a great home. If you love (XYZ) Homes, you will love (ABC). They are the same company and the (ABC) line is perfect for the family looking for a great, quality, well built first time home or looking to downsize. You get are getting a great price for a new construction home! Come see inside and you won't believe that you could really be in this great of a home for this price!"

The agent has *one* home listed;
can you tell anything about it?

the words "amazing" & "awesome":

"amazing storm cellar"
"amazing siding"
"amazing open layout" The house is 1534 square feet.
"awesome view of the deck"
"amazing space" Well, from the price, I'd say it's just-about-what-you'd-expect-space.
"amazingly restored"

"Come inside & be surprised".
uh, no, I don't wanna be surprised.

Here's the *entire* narrative of one listing:
"Shed stays."

"Clean and beautiful home. Nice size bedrooms, lots of closet space. Kitchen open to dining area and living area great setting for cooking while entertaining family and friends. Very nice and big back yard plenty of space for the kids, the doggy to run and play and for all of their toys. Carpet was replaced Nov. 2009. Must see"

"STOP THE SHOW! UNBELIEVABLE!! WOW! If you want the latest in interior design this is impressive. Three bedroom split with 2nd bedroom suite, off the chart bathrooms, 2 LARGE living areas and a kitchen with GRANITE counter tops and custom cabinets. Island cooking area even a chef would be proud of. Sits on a Permanent Foundation."
(it's a mobile home)

"located in beautiful XYZ Subdivision - this up and coming neighborhood has community everything! WOW is what you will say when you see this home. Tell everyone that you have found your next home. Go ahead and rent a moving truck - you are going to want this one."

"You wont believe this large kitchen with a eat up island"

sounds like a lot of traffic, noise, & lights to me!

"Great home with a greatfloorplan perfect for young family or retired couple."
Young families & retired couples have the same needs, hobbies, & lifestyles?

"Impressionable home design with 2130 sq. ft., 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. Kitchen model-style transitions for an open concept. Study can be selected over the 4th bedroom."



& then there's the word "very":
"Very cute and well cared for home on great lot that backs up to tree line. Wonderful drive up appeal. Large covered patio makes outside entertaining very nice. Unique floorplan with two living areas. Very open kitchen & family room concept. Large utility room with tons of storage. Very large secondary bedroom will be nice option for older child or mother-in-law. Nice updates including tile and laminate wood flooring and light fixture updates."

"Beautiful custom built home. Home built by builder and it shows."

& the word "this":
"This is a well maintained home that sits on culdesac lot, with a large backyard. This home has a large kitchen with a large pantry. This home has 3 living areas, one with a fireplace, all bedrooms are good size."

& that was because...?

"Historic, Stately, Colonial, AMAZING! A few words to describe this 1939 home. It's charm is felt from the second you drive up. It boasts of its beauty from the street with every detail attendeded to! Wood floors, 2 master bdrms one up and one down, large gally kitchen, are among a few of the things you will fall in love with when you walk in."

"Imagine fishing in your own backyard. The pond is already there, just needs a few fish and a lazy afternoon. After the fishing, you can relax in your own four bedroom, three bath retreat. On the cool evenings you can sit in front of the wood burning fireplace. Or enjoy preparing those family dinners in the gourmet kitchen. When you're ready to retire for the day, you can unwind in your masterbedroom and enjoy the view from the bay window."

"Mom will love the cooks kitchen with double ovens and dad will be delighted with the three car garage"
Am I overly sensitive, or does that sound like type-casting? My neighbors would be the opposite:
He's a chef, & she's a trouble-shooter for an auto wholesaler!




    Bookmark   January 8, 2010 at 5:03PM
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Hhmmm. My Illustrated Dictionary of Historic Architecture has listing for tray ceilings, but nothing for trey ceilings.

    Bookmark   January 9, 2010 at 6:00PM
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Regardless of whether they are "Trey" or "Tray" -- let's pick one and go with it! I've even seen the same builder using it differently in descriptions of different models. sigh. At least be consistent!

    Bookmark   January 10, 2010 at 10:40PM
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I have a lollapalooza for you. I just finished reading this listing on craigslist and am breathless. Not only is it one of the longest I have ever seen but it is run on, no punctuation and nary a capital letter can be found. Oh yes, unless you want to count the last paragraph which is all in caps.


    Bookmark   January 13, 2010 at 2:49AM
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Too bad you didn't just cut and paste some highlights, jrdown, because that posting has been deleted. :(

    Bookmark   January 18, 2010 at 8:47PM
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Lots of "dinning rooms" here too. I did look at one that had a "hugh backyard", though.

There was a house posted, "Please look passed the mess". Okay, well...1) the word is past and 2) tell your client to clean their house.

But so far my favorite is "Close to pubic transportation".

    Bookmark   January 27, 2010 at 2:32PM
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Wow! Hee hee!

    Bookmark   January 27, 2010 at 3:08PM
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This is a thread close to my heart right now. Descriptions of "soaring" ceilings and "amazing" whatever just turn me off. My personal favorite at the moment is several listings in our historic district that specify a "HUGE" corner lot... which is the same size as every other .13 acre lot in the area, except the corner lots lose more fenced yard to the sidewalks.

More pet peeves:
--Gratuitous use of ecclamation points!!!!
--"Immaculate" homes that looks like they haven't been thoroughly cleaned, well, ever.
--Zero property photos
--24 photos of one room the house and no photos of anything else.
--Inquiries to the listing agents which are simply ignored.
--Listings which go on and on with stereotypes of the garage and the outdoors being for the man and the kitchen for the little wifey.

I figure if the agent and seller can't be bothered to craft a decent, descriptive listing with adequate photos, I can't be bothered to look at it.

This weekend, I was driving by a house that's been listed for 2 years, with the same agent. The listing has one blurry photo of the outside. Well, they were having an open house, so I dropped in. The home is absolutely gorgeous on the inside and is priced below comps. The seller really needs a new agent.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 9:33AM
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& if spaces used for "for the handy husband" & "for mom" were freed up,there'd be room for more info about the actual features!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 2:13PM
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The irony of mispelling "exclamation" in a post about illiteracy does not escape me.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 3:20PM
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Pet peeve - nothing in a listing ever being fixed.
So many bad pictures. How many have I run across that arent sized right they are little tiny pictures or way stretched pictures. Stay that way forever.
Other Pet peeve incomplete information. No matter how many realtors here I complain too they just don't get the fact that
are really important distinctions vs.
most often - nothing
which is I am starting to interpret as code for slab but you know its hard to tell because its also just an omission

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 5:24PM
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[The irony of mispelling "exclamation" in a post about illiteracy does not escape me.]

But the irony of misspelling the word "misspelling" is even greater!!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 10:12PM
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Me clearly not having good English day.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2010 at 7:24AM
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Some of my favourites -

"HOLD DO NOT SHOW UNTIL FURTHUR NOTICE PLEASE ! Like new 2004 Clayton mobile home " - while not exactly illiterate aside from "furthur", this listing has been up as is since summer of 2007. From the pictures, it was NOT "like new" even in 2007.


"If you are looking for privacy than this home is for you. Beautiful 3 bedroom 2 bath on 5 acres has so much to offer. Take a walk into the Open Foyer with georgous maple hardwood floors throughout main level, stairs and hallway. Entertaining will be a breeze with the open great room, kitchen floor plan. Seller has made the following upgrades to the home. 2007 new paint throughout interior of home, cased all windows on main level and extended back deck. 2008 maple hardwoods were installed , new baseboards and shoe mold on main level, crown molding, chair rail, ceiling fans, stainless steel appliances and hot water heater. 2009 New carpet in all bedrooms and bonus, New 4 Ton HVAC and paint colors changed in bonus, bedroom 2 & 3 with more neutral tone. Large MB with double pane doors leading in the master bath which has separate shower, jetted garden tub w/window overlooking the beautiful mature trees, his and her walk in closet, linen closet and double sinks. Upstairs has a perfect area for sitting room. Great 20 x 12 Bonus Room. Enjoy those family cookouts on the large extended deck which leads to the above ground pool also has complete wrap around deck. Enter into the security gate and see the beautiful mature trees that line both sides of the property. The property line goes beyond the trees in the backyard. This home is a must see! Buyers agent to verify all information including square footage." - Spelling, then/than misuse and weird Random capitalization, not to mention verbal diarrhea. Should I really care that they painted in 2007 with some horrible colour and had to repaint 2 years later? I may be showing my evil English degree side, but "enter into the security gate" makes me grind my teeth.

"There s also a formal dining room and butler s pantry along with the sitting room and full bath, which can also be used as aguest suite. Upstairs is the absolutely huge master bedroom suite, two additional nicely sized bedrooms, a loft area and home office nook. Outside, the largepatio and the cozy gazebo are great resting places for enjoying the long view towards the backyard." Apparently the space bar and apostrophe keys are broken. FWIW, the house is a $600k house in an area where $400k will get you a 5000+sq ft nice house and the "nicely sized bedrooms" are 12x13.

"ENTERTAINERS DREAM HOME! No expense spared in this 100% rebuilt split level! 1st floor master w/ WIC, private bath w/ marbel/stone & steam shower. As close to NEW CONSTRUCTION AS YOU CAN GET!!!" - Except it's not, despite their excitement.

""NEW CONSTRUCTION" loaded with features, quality workmanship & maintenance free." and later - "The "LOWEST PRICE" for a "NEW" construction home in St. Clair Shores and surrounding citys. WILL BUY ALL APPLIANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " - People who abuse quote marks drive me insane. More insane than those who don't know when to turn a y into an i and add es. And more insane than those apparently die while holding down the exclamation mark.

"dental mold" - Uhm. Gross.

The illiterate listings bother me more than the "agent overstatement" listings (like one listed now that is the first house in my old neighbourhood off a fairly busy street but "The home is hidden away in a quiet and mature subdivision.").

Sadly, I don't think agents that can't even run a spell check would ever pay for someone who could write decent listings. It amazes me how owners could sit around and not demand that the listing is corrected.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2010 at 3:04PM
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The one that starts with "If you are looking for privacy" illustrates one of my peeves;
I call it verbal diarrhea.

There's so *much* verbiage there that nobody is likely to read the whole thing.

I sometimes fuss about scant information & too much white space in listings, & the listings with everything spelled out to use up the white space drive me nuts, but at least on the MLS, the agent only has a few lines.

On ads & flyers, you want to put the "meat" of the info in your write-up & keep the gushiness to a minimum (think poetry as opposed to prose);

On ads & flyers, white space is a good thing.

    Bookmark   February 16, 2010 at 12:35PM
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I've got to say, it's unfortunate that not all mls services put a limit on descriptions - AND photos.

There are so many listings on the one I check regularly that make my eyes glaze over because of the poorly worded verbal diarrhea. It often (but not always) goes along with 20+ (literally) pictures, many of which actually make the property look bad.

One of my favourite listings in the past couple of days is one with picture diarrhea which includes a picture of their muddy dog looking miserable in a small muddy fenced in area. In the description, it includes the gem "Similar homes in the area". Yeah, great.

    Bookmark   February 17, 2010 at 10:14AM
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Location Location! Renovated Bungalow In Desirable Area, Potential Of Reasoning Of This Big Lot

Remember the song, "I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me...."?

    Bookmark   February 20, 2010 at 9:21AM
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Just saw a brand new listing which included:


As an aside this is an upscale neighborhood where Corian counters is a detriment not a selling feature. Apparently, no one used spell check for the listing either. I keep thinking when I read it that the sink is somehow very unseemly.

    Bookmark   March 14, 2010 at 1:29PM
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I recently saw an MLS listing that had 11 photos attached. 1 of the front of the house, 1 of the front door, 3 various shots of the kitchen, and 6 photos of the flower gardens and landscaping.

    Bookmark   March 16, 2010 at 4:34PM
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The ones with 6 pics of the exterior always make me wonder, too.

What's inside that house that the agent doesn't want me to know about's too late! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

    Bookmark   March 16, 2010 at 5:25PM
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LOL, this is one of the most entertaining threads I have read anywhere. I look forward to more of these.

    Bookmark   March 16, 2010 at 5:48PM
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not quite the same thing, but I just read the title of a "wanted" ad & it reminded me of this thread:

"Wanted: White Girl's Nightstand"

The person undoubtedly wants a white nightstand for a little girl's room, but the wording makes one pause.

    Bookmark   June 23, 2010 at 4:28PM
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"a permanent stoopÂ
The house had osteoporosis."
stoop (st p) n. Chiefly Northeastern U.S.
A small porch, platform, or staircase leading to the entrance of a house or building.

How we are spoiled by nearly unlimited memory and disk space on computers.

The older MLS computers had very limited storage, and MLS cards had very restrictive fields for information.

At least some of the systems still have less than the latest and greatest disk capacity.

A 10 Mbyte hard drive was state of the art around 1982.
Hard drives are up into the Terabyte capacity presently.

    Bookmark   June 24, 2010 at 2:37PM
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The summer heat must have fried some more brains -

-"Main floor bath needs remolded" and later on in same listing "some remolding yet to complete" (same agent has another listing that was "remolded in the 1990's")

-"laundry in kitchen with also hook-ups in basement with clothes shut in upstairs bath"

    Bookmark   June 29, 2010 at 2:45PM
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I saw a "boudoir that was fit for Maryanne Toinette"

complete with guillotine?

    Bookmark   June 30, 2010 at 10:03AM
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I saw a "boudoir that was fit for Maryanne Toinette"

GREAT! Now I have to go and get some Windex to wipe up the coffee I just spit all over my computer screen.

Thanks for the laugh...that was a hoot!

    Bookmark   June 30, 2010 at 11:38AM
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Silly thing, but one of Gordon Ramsey's 'victims' last night kept calling Deli bread
CHalla (it's said "Halla") and could only imagine her getting laughed out of the bakery next time she shopped. Well, I said it was silly...

    Bookmark   June 30, 2010 at 2:34PM
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Not illiterate, but "amazingly" annoying:

" AMAZING RETREAT in U-City! This unique, four-bedroom brick rambler on a quiet street closed to through-traffic is loaded with AMAZING features - inside and outside! Gleaming hardwood floors -AMAZING! Open living/dining room floor plan with vaulted ceiling and brick fireplace -AMAZING! Updated kitchen -AMAZING! Divided bedroom floor plan -AMAZING! Master bedroom suite with an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING view of the backyard water feature (read on)! Partially-finished lower level with custom media center, surround sound, wet bar, sleeping area, half bath, lots of storage, and tuckunder garage -AMAZING! Surround sound throughout upstairs and patio -AMAZING! Secluded, fenced backyard with pergola-covered patio and breathtaking waterfall and pond with koi to make this home your personal RETREAT -AMAZING! GREAT LOCATION - one block to Ruth Park Golf Course, minutes to Clayton, the Delmar Loop, Washington University, Fontbonne University, St. Louis University, the airport, and shopping -AMAZING!"

    Bookmark   July 8, 2010 at 7:19AM
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Weed, I pick up those snob appeal "Estate Properties" magazines every now& then & count the times an ad mentions "prestige" or "prestigious".

My thought is, if you're smart enough to market homes in the $1,000,000 plus range, you're smart enough to either have a vocabulary or to own (& use) your very own thesaurus.

Speaking of word fatigue, there was an agent in my area whose last sentence in every single ad or narrative was "Oh, & don't forget the fill-in-the-blank".

By the time you got to the end of the ad, of course, she'd already mentioned the biggies like pools & guest houses & stables, so the finale was always a little weird, like a big flag for a small amenity.

"Oh, & don't forget the fence."
"Oh, & don't forget the school down the road."
"Oh, & don't forget the porch/ceiling fan/walking distance to McDonald's/whatever."

    Bookmark   July 8, 2010 at 12:44PM
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As a former middle school teacher of English, as well as other subjects, I can tell you that in my experience many/most

1--Kids (and adults) don't know what they don't know about spelling, grammar, how to express themselves coherently, etc.

2--Kids don't care, because it's not interesting (things listed in #1 above) and they (and often their parents) don't feel that they should have to study what they're not interested in (ok, so I ended with a preposition).

3--Kids do not understand or care about the concept of doing something correctly.

4--Kids and parents will complain to the counselor/principal/school board if you are doing all of this boring stuff and computing their mistakes as part of their grade, which of course will be low. If they get low grades, it is the teacher's fault, and means the teacher is not a good teacher if too many low grades are given. It will show up in his/her evaluation. Probably the most common reason given by parents when confronted with their child's low grade is, "He's bored" or "She has a personality conflict with this teacher."

You can see how this might play out, and why teachers might end up teaching a less demanding curriculum.

BTW, when I first started teaching and asked my building administrator for the syllabus/curriculum guide for my Language Arts and Social Studies classes, I was told, "You're the professional. You figure out what to teach!"


    Bookmark   July 8, 2010 at 6:30PM
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Probably the most common reason given by parents when confronted with their child's low grade is, "He's bored" or "She has a personality conflict with this teacher."

The parents had better never downsize. Their 40 year old children will likely continued to be "bored" and have "personality conflicts" through a succession of jobs, and will never leave home.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2010 at 7:54AM
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LOL Weed. And they'll continue to write RE listings describing the dinning room of your dreams compleat with chandeleur, and oh, don't forget the house backs up to the rustic bridal path!

    Bookmark   July 9, 2010 at 4:36PM
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The one I'm seeing a lot lately is people confusing "then" and "than". For example, "My friend has more cookies then I do." It should be "than I do." It makes me furious! Also, the misuse of apostrophes is atrocious! I bought a book a few days ago called "The Girl's Like Spaghetti". It's by the same author who wrote "Eats, Shoots and Leaves". I'm in the process of getting my elementary education degree and you can bet these books will be in my classroom library! In fact, they should be required reading for all high school students (and college students, for that matter). A typo every now and then is to be expected, but this kind of stuff written by college graduates earning six figures is ridiculous.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2010 at 3:00PM
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mrs egg, you will probably enjoy the apostrophe abuse blog and the Blog of unnecessary quotes.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2010 at 3:21PM
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And I STILL don't get when it was that the verb to lie (as in on a bed) became "lay"! That's driven me mad for years now. One lies down, and after getting up lays a book on a table.

    Bookmark   July 11, 2010 at 9:40AM
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Larke - I would pinpoint it to 1969, Bob Dylan and "Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed."

Seldom comes up in real estate listings, but what about bad and badly? I know it's tricky but if Cindi Lauper can get it right, then so should Donald Trump

    Bookmark   July 11, 2010 at 12:24PM
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In the past several decades in particular, the vernacular speech pattern in my area, particularly among the lower classes, has started to turn words into the possessive form

So a restaurant called Portobello, gets turned into Portobello's.

Worse: "That is mine." has shifted into "That is mine's" and is Starting to shift into "That is mines's" (pronounced Minezez) pretty soon it will be minezezezez.

Same with certain past tenses. "I Liked it" , becomes I Liketed it.

It is horrendous.

    Bookmark   July 11, 2010 at 1:08PM
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I know that I've mentioned this before, but it drives me crazy when people use the word myself, when I or me would be correct. As in "you can call Bob or myself". Argghhh!!

On another note, I saw this sign at a Hallmark store today:

You and me????

    Bookmark   July 11, 2010 at 5:20PM
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For me, mistakenly using "you and me" is better than mistakenly using "you and I."

But what about the mistakes WE make? I know the rules, but when typing here without an edit opportunity later, I have mistakes all over GardenWeb with misplaced commas, who/whom, and use of the subjunctive.

    Bookmark   July 12, 2010 at 9:38AM
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Graywings, you've touched on an issue that REALLY annoys me! People have become so cautious about misusing "me", that the incorrect usage of "I" has become rampant. I hear it on TV all the time, even by talking heads who should know better!

    Bookmark   July 12, 2010 at 11:05AM
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But didn't anyone at Hallmark know the proper usage before they spent the money to have all those signs made?

    Bookmark   July 12, 2010 at 11:53AM
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