What do you think of this brochure?
Our agents are putting together a 12-page, full color brochure on our house to put in the info box. They sent me the draft. I need your feedback on one of the pages. They took a "once upon a time" approach in an attempt to create an emotional pull. It's a somewhat fabricated tale of how Mr. and Mrs. Weedy (using our first names) went looking for a house with X and Y and Z, saw the "good bones, ugly finishes" house, bought it and remodeled it. And now it's pretty and they're going to miss A and B and C about it. It's more flowery than that, but that's the gist of the content.
Doesn't that violate the RE maxim that you should de-personalize a house so that others can picture themselves living there? Am I being too picky? Or do I have reason to think this might not have the desired impact?