Scarlett woke up my inner schoolmarm!

sylviatexas1September 13, 2013

My inner schoolmarm, who wears her hair in a bun & frowns over the tops of her glasses, usually fusses about contorted sentences & misspelled words, but Scarlett has her all tied in a knot over banalities.

some of Scarlett's observations:

"Every pool is "sparkling"

"Then there's the hyperbole, AKA real estate B.S. Every yard that has at least one half dead bush is described as a "Zen garden", "Poet's Garden", Lush, tropical garden", etc.
'm looking at a flyer right now that says it has a "country-fresh" bathroom. What does that mean, cow poop?

Old windows are now "vintage" and old appliances are "original to the house". Yeah, 1965."

Inner schoolmarm has some observations of her own to add!

Just like every pool is 'sparkling', every old wood floor is 'gleaming'.

I used to use the verb 'boasts', until I realized that every other write-up 'boasts' the same word ('beautiful home boasts indoor plumbing!')

'Prestige' & 'prestigious' have long been pet peeves;
I may have told this here before, but I used to pick up a glossy magazine every now & then, one that specialized in luxury homes, & count the times those 2 words were used in each ad or on each page.

There wasn't a 'non-prestigious' house in that whole magazine!

I know it's hard to come up with fresh words & phrases
(I've had to create ads my own self), but some of this stuff is just embarrassingly, groaningly trite.

so my inner schoolmarm gave me permission to make fun of 'em.

just remembered another pet peeve:
agents wasting space with prattle, jabbering about how many bedrooms (the number is in a block above the narrative), spelling out words to use up white space, etc.
If you can't remember what the house looks like, ask the seller to write an ad for you to use as a pattern. (a good idea anyway; sellers know the house better than you ever will).

One of the very top agents here *always* says (using valuable, limited space in the MLS) 'plenty of room for the inlaws & outlaws!

& I love this girl, but if I were the seller, I might wonder if she'd recognize my house if it weren't for her sign out front!.

What words or phrases make you yawn (or set your teeth on edge)?

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terriks

I always laugh when I see "large .20 acre lot". Is it larger than other .20 acre lots?

    Bookmark   September 13, 2013 at 5:42PM
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chispa

Pretty much every kitchen is now described as a Gourmet kitchen!

    Bookmark   September 13, 2013 at 7:00PM
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ncrealestateguy

Who in the heck is Scarlett?

    Bookmark   September 13, 2013 at 11:03PM
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sylviatexas1

oops, shoulda been clearer (see what happens when you start picking on other people's writing???)

She posted this on the 'Spot the Listing Typo' thread:

â¢Posted by scarlett2001 (My Page) on Sun, Aug 11, 13 at 18:38

'RE flyers are almost always in need of editing. Every pool is "sparkling" and capital letters are sprinkled everywhere, no sense intended.
I like "Hugh" dens, "rot" iron railings, "fagstone" fireplaces, a "cozzy dinning" room with "jealousy" windows and of course, everyone wants to live on a "sexcluded cul-de-sack".

Then there's the hyperbole, AKA real estate B.S. Every yard that has at least one half dead bush is described as a "Zen garden", "Poet's Garden", Lush, tropical garden", etc. I'm looking at a flyer right now that says it has a "country-fresh" bathroom. What does that mean, cow poop?

Old windows are now "vintage" and old appliances are "original to the house". Yeah, 1965.'

happened to think of a couple of more:

'room for everybody' (What if I don't want to invite everybody?)

'close to shopping' (there's a McDonalds on the corner)

'man cave' (thanks for the warning; is he tame at all?)

    Bookmark   September 14, 2013 at 1:19PM
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chibimimi

This is one of my pet gripes: Realtors (or others) who use the word "manse" as if it means "mansion." It doesn't. It's closer to "vicarage" or "rectory."

This post was edited by Chibimimi on Sat, Sep 14, 13 at 15:21

    Bookmark   September 14, 2013 at 3:12PM
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marti8a

I've been prowling the homes for sale online lately, and if the description doesn't start out "Beautiful" it starts out "Gorgeous" even if they aren't. I very seldom see descriptions without at least one misspelled word.

    Bookmark   September 14, 2013 at 5:08PM
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sylviatexas1

been looking for a nice house for a client this afternoon, & every single kitchen is a chef's delight or a gourmet delight!

also saw a listing on acreage, advertised as a horse property.
showing instructions are something like
"turn off the lights, lock the doors, latch the gate so the hores don't get out."

(What happens if they get out?)

    Bookmark   September 15, 2013 at 6:24PM
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christopherh

Some definitions I like:

"Cute" is always small, and "Cozy" means TINY!
"Colonial" is my favorite. I've come to realize that means any home built prior to the Eisenhower administration.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2013 at 6:57AM
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