Embarrassing subject - incontinence?

fran1523May 17, 2009

Okay,all you older women out there? How many of you suffer from stress incontinence or just plain leaking all the time. This pollen season has just about done me in. Every cough and every sneeze causes you know what. The last time I tried to carry something heavy (over 40 lbs) from my car into the house, I had to change my clothes when I got inside. I am trying to get an appt. with a specialist in Boston, but in the meantime does anybody have any suggestions? You younger women, don't laugh. Your day is coming.

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Have you ever tried Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles?

Here is a link that might be useful: Kegel exercise

    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 8:35PM
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Bless your heart, no laughing from me!!! I cross my legs when I sneeze! I don't have lots of "leakage" just once in a while but I do the kegel exercises trying to make it better.

Hope you get that appointment soon. I had a girlfriend that when she came over to play cards at my house she brought a bag of towels to sit on and a change of cloths. She would tinkle herself several times during our card night. She had the bladder surgery that is supposed to help but for some reason hers wasn't totally a success. She still will tinkle herself but not so bad.


    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 8:42PM
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The pelvic floor tends to fall as we get older, I am told. There is the surgery debn mentions, successful for some, and the Kegel exercises mcmann linked can also help.

Remind yourself to use the restroom often, every hour if you can, even if you don't feel the urge.

Depends padded undies don't show under most clothing and can be a safety backup if you won't be near a restroom for some time.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 8:58PM
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It's tough. When you feel a sneeze coming you automatically cross your legs. Looks funny when you're standing! Especially when you are on your way to the bathroom, can't walk with your legs crossed!
Kathy G in MI

    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 9:18PM
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The Kegels really help.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 9:27PM
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When you get to be 80.........

It wasn't until my 79th year that I began to have problems so I now wear regular cotton underwear panties for incontinence - but don't bother buying them, I think the padding doesn't hold up very long. I wear them in the day time but really don't need them much then except once in awhile just as I get near the bathroom it is harder to hold it. At night now I wear the panties but also put in a heavier pad I buy at Walgreen as I must leak during the night and not realize it, even though I seem to get up every few hours and even then will find the whole business soaked through in the morning. Is this more than you wanted to know?

At least I haven't reached the point where I have to carry a pad to sit on like a woman I know.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2009 at 10:52PM
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Wear Poise pads or something similar and use Vagasil for moisturizing and odor control. I'd rather do that than have a more public display of carrying towels and a change of clothes around or risking a wet spot on my pants. No matter how small the leak, the spot gets bigger and bigger!

Speaking of public display, though....why do they put those pads in bright pink packages? Do female products have to be wrapped in pink? What's wrong with a plain brown color? No matter how full you pack your cart in Wal Mart, those bright pink boxes and packages always show..and they show through the shopping bags, too. Sheesh!!


    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 12:34AM
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Get some cotton bags to take to the store to bring groceries home - the colourful packages won't show through them ... and put the stuff into the bag when it goes into the cart (but don't forget to put them on to the check-out counter).

This from a rank amateur, so perhaps should be consigned to the trash but ...

... our kids, being in their 40s, used mainly cloth diapers, except when travelling, etc.

What about cutting up some old towels that have got thin in places into appropriate shapes and sizes and stuff them inside of the panties, as required?

One could carry them around in a double compartmented (diaper bag).

I sometimes find that I have an after-dribble down the leg ... but seldom find that I produce when I'm not planning on it.

Good wishes for success in keeping liquids where you want them.

ole joyful

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 1:42AM
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The Stayfree Maxi pads in super and long with wings seems to do the best job for me. I have to drink plenty of water because of meds and such and then if I have to take a water pill.. yikes. The sudden urge gets bad so I try to go as soon as I feel anything. I've always done kiegels so I think I've done what I can. I do wake up about every 2 hours at night also. So far the pads have worked when I have to go out and are easy to change when needed.

Ole Joyful it's a nice idea the diaper material but unfortunately even the smallest amount goes through when sitting unless there is a waterproof liner such as the above pads.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 1:54AM
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I remember chatting with a friend while waiting to pick up my child's prescription in line at the drug store. Someone in line made a remark about needing to hurry or they'd have wet pants. The female pharmacist saw this as a teachable moment, looked up, and said in general to the line that she takes a prescription for that and to get ourselves to the doctor for the prescription if we need it. That it really helps. Don't remember the name of the medication, but she felt it was a simple solution.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 2:00AM
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Unfortunately, if you have high blood pressure they won't give you a prescription. You have to have surgery.

So far the Poise mini pads work for me. And have any of you noticed that the crotch in some brands of panties have gotten narrower? I look at two brands of my panties and they are definitely narrower even in the same package. Poor quality control?

I have been thinking of writing them and asking if they have tried getting the sticky stuff on the bottom of their pads stuck to their bottom or pulling pubic hair. (insert scream here)

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 3:39AM
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I talked to the doctor a little about the situation about 10 years ago, looked it up on the internet, at that time it only lasted about 5 years and then had to be redone, I decided that heck with it, I would just wear pads. Depends..I have 3 sizes at home. lighter ones, mediup and super duper size. Lighter ones for at night if I have a cold. Medium ones for normal days and super duper for when I have a cold and am coughing a lot. I figure why let this issue run my life. I have a chronic cough (nobody knows why, I just cough)..and when I cough, I pee. So WHy live in embarrassment because I pee, this way nobody knows it. As far as buying POISE pads (the best ones out there buy the way) so what if people know I do. I'd rather be embarassed that way then wet my pants in public (again)!!!

Now remember too...depends are made to absorbe moisture fast, menstrual pads are not!


    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 7:00AM
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Thanks, KT friends.....I;m glad to see I;m not a lone-ranger with this problem. Dottie

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 9:11AM
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I have high blood pressure and I've been prescribed Vesicare for that. If I'm going somewhere that I might have a problem if I don't find the bathroom ASAP, I wear an ultra slim pad "just in case"

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 9:24AM
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I wear pads because no matter how often I use the restroom if I cough, sneeze or laugh, there could be a problem. I have talked to the DR and she suggested the exercises, which I do but doesn't help. There is medication but I don't want to take it because of the side effects.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 10:23AM
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My sister had the surgery and said it made it worse. I thought I was having the same problem and went to my urologists, he said I had a problem with atrophy due to aging. I went to my GYN for the discomfort that I have and found out it is a disease. I leak when I squat to pull weeds or pick something up off the floor, sitting to long and sometimes when I stand up. I have to hurry to the bathroom if I sit to long. It's embarrassing to discuss, so won't put the details in here. I thought some of you might have the same problem, if you do you can email me. To make matters worse, I pinched a nerve that numbed my right leg and some of the muscles in my lower abdomen. Need I say which muscles??? I had to take laxatives and retrain my bladder muscles. They weren't completely numb, but enough to cause a problem, luckily when I was home when I had my accidents.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 10:44AM
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I had a horrible time when I was on water pills, diuretics, for my high blood pressure. Ask your doctor or pharmacist to go over your meds to see if anything your taking might be causing frequent urination or if your meds can BE "tweeked".

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 10:50AM
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I suggest everyone buy stock in Poise pads. I have a cold/cough and have gone through many pads just in the last week. Trust me, you are not alone! I saw a snippet on TV last night about a promising cure but unfortunately I got a phone call during the snippet and missed most of it.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 11:03AM
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I'm in my 30's and can't sneeze without sitting down first.

The joys of what the baby did to my body!!

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 11:24AM
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Thanks for your honesty everybody. It helps to know that I am not alone.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 11:51AM
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I have the same problem when I haven't been to the bathroom in a while and have to sneeze or cough. Luckily, it can be avoided if I remember to tinkle frequently. I've tried Kegel exercises and they don't seem to help much. I am only 47, so I am concerned about things getting worse as I get older. I sure hope they develop effective treatments that don't involve surgery.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 12:09PM
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Talk to your dr, and a good urologist. You don't need a specialist, unless it is a serious problem that the urologist cannot solve. Diet is important, since I have cut out all soft drinks, I noticed an improvement, and fruit drinks add to the problem. Check your dr about water pills, some help, some don't. Pads are good and there is a good variety.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 12:14PM
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Drop those bags at the front door lock it and then race to the john??? I've worn a pad (stayfree anykind except the little flimsy ones) for years. I also pin the front end to the panty so they don't drop out on to the floor somewhere. Just making sure I change them a lot and keep doggie doodoo bags to put them in in the bathroom trash.

I like to shoot a spray of some kind of fem deo spray around the panty area too. (for my own peace of mind)

I'm also trying not to drink a lot at night say from 8pm on no sodas teas etc. I use Biotene for dry mouth so sometimes just a drop or two of that will moisten my mouth. As long as you can go undected it's ok out in public. I think men have the same problem but don't talk about it/.

I want to mention that if you get any little sores on your bum/ cheeks/ rear= end because of whatever - a good product to have on hand is "no sting spray on bandage". a few rub-ons of it makes a protective coating and they will heal faster saddle sores. . . .

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 3:55PM
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Detrol was the answer for me...yeah, I know, everyone makes fun of the TV commerical, but it was truly a life-changing medication. I used to know where all the stores' restrooms were and visited them ALL often. No more.....oh...and I take blood pressure medication, so that didn't matter in my case. (If it matters, I take Lisinopril)

    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 6:03PM
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I am soooo glad I am not alone with this issue.
I had bladder surgery about 15 years ago with my hysto surgery, and it was a god send. Fast forward 15 years, at age 52 it is becoming a problem again.
I guess I am lucky as I can still get away with only wearing a small pad every day, the thin kind.
When I have a cold and cough, I need to be riding the cotton pony.

I hate getting older, you just never know what is going to be your enemy.


    Bookmark   May 18, 2009 at 6:52PM
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Dorothy_oahu: Yes, I've noticed the crotches are narrower in panties these days. They give you brief style panties with a thong style crotch!

Here's another hint that I started doing when I still menstruated heavily and wore thick pads even with super tampons...wear 2 pair of panties. This keeps the pads tighter to your body.


    Bookmark   May 19, 2009 at 1:16AM
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Guys have the same problem, especailly after we pass 70 yrs old. Blood pressure medication aggravates the situation. So does being overweight. We, too, become a Walgreens' customer crusing the "pads" aisle snapping up sale items, while looking over our shoulder to see if anyone we knew saw us.

    Bookmark   May 19, 2009 at 3:08AM
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I know this is an older post,but please age has nothing to do with it.I dribble when I laugh,I dribble when I cough.Dang I walk in front of one those pictures that has a waterfall and you can hear it and I dribble.This has been a problem for years and I am only 42.I can't remember when I haven't had to have a ship between my legs to catch the waves.LOL.There is a medication but the side effects are way to many.Thanks to me Always will never go out of business.I can not think of the med. name right now.Is this how it goes 1st the bladder than the mind.My friend says everything goes south when you get older -the chest ,the bum,the bladder.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2009 at 7:01AM
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I hear you all..... I'm not too bad, at 54, but the sneezing and coughing can be a problem once in a while. I also seem to just have dampness, without actually letting a real dribble escape. That doesn't cause real wetness but can lead to odor, which is pretty embarrassing too.

Mrs Micki, I had to laugh about your comment about a ship to catch the waves!

    Bookmark   May 28, 2009 at 12:59PM
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I hear you all..... I'm not too bad, at 54, but the sneezing and coughing can be a problem once in a while. I also seem to just have dampness, without actually letting a real dribble escape. That doesn't cause real wetness but can lead to odor, which is pretty embarrassing too.

Mrs Micki, I had to laugh about your comment about a ship to catch the waves!

    Bookmark   May 28, 2009 at 1:04PM
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