shower gifts

rosajoe_gwJuly 17, 2011

I had started a quilt a few years ago for a distant relative's wedding and they called it off. They decided to live together the last few years.

Last week I received a shower invitation for a 'gift card only' shower for them. The card stated drop by from 1 to 3. I think this is way beyond tacky!!!! They rudely ask for money and then say just drop it by lol!!!!!!!

They are expecting a baby and the baby shower is in the planning stages. I was told this will be 'gift card only' also.

I will skip both showers and after the baby is born I will give the 4 burp cloths I have embroidered to the grandparents and they can give them to the parents which I have only met him twice and never met her.

Am I just getting too old or do any of you find this practice of asking for a gift, especially money rude?? The reason was stated that they have already set up house so they don't need house items, so why have a shower?


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Good to see you Rosa! I've missed you :)
I agree - tacky-tacky and rude! and just maybe you would have given a Gift card on your own - but NOT NOW!
I have a hard time getting used to the list of shops that are registered and being expected to buy and send from it.
Makes it easy, I guess. But for creative people like us, it takes the fun out of gift giving.
I have read that not everyone wants gift cards - and there is a huge after market for all the unwanted gift cards teens and young adults receive. Seems like such a waste.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 5:48PM
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Well, you know my thoughts, Rosa!!!! Don't tell me what to give unless I ask! Your burp cloths are a very nice gift!

Don't be a stranger anymore or I'll have to track you down again. lol


    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 5:59PM
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I agree!! I don't really like getting invites to showers for people I don't really know - relative or not! Good idea for the burp cloths - lets them know you are thinking of them and they will be surprised how useful they are.

I don't mind knowing a gift registry - it has helped me picking colors for quilts/gifts when I know what & how they are decorating. I just made a baby quilt for a dear friend's daughter (she & my son grew up together). I called grandma to be & told her I was planning to make a quilt & she was THRILLED and couldn't believe I would go to all that trouble. I picked colors that went with her theme and Becky, the mom-to-be, was so excited when she opened it she cried. It was a big open-house bbq shower and she took the quilt all around showing everyone at the shower.


    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 6:05PM
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I had a spouse's relative who essentially threw herself a baby shower, complete with what to get, how much it cost and where to get it all written out with the invitation. One was a big-ticket item out of our typical gift budget (and we are not stingy) and I called to see if one I found on sale with not quite the elaborate accessories would be suitable. Nope.

When the other baby showers came along, and the subject of budgets came up I got firm...... we set the bar at the first one, and every one after that would get an equivalent gift so there'd be none who didn't enjoy the extravagence the first mom-to-be expected as a matter of course. That's the way it works in blended families, or should work, unless a recipeint is especially needy.

That's been many moons ago and this person has matured a lot since then and I think that's part of it.........some children have been so priveledged by their parents, they find it difficult to transition over to a giving, as well as a receiving adult.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 7:42PM
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I agree that after living together for several years a shower seems quite inappropriate. DH said if you give them nothing they will think you simply forgot so send them a completely unexpected gift card, he suggests you send them a coupon for some fries at McDonalds.


    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 7:54PM
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A gift is a GIFT not a request. I have no problems with suggestions but only as an option. Greed is not something I like to feed. Unfortunately I find that has become more common but it doesn't mean I have to accept it.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 11:36PM
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Beverly hug him for me I love the suggestion lol!!!!
Thank you everyone I suffered a mini breakdown, or self imposed time out.
I feel much better thanks to Beverly's setting the bar so hi with the exercise, thank you Bev, it helped so much. It was at least a year or more with all of us discussing the weight loss and all of you are the reason I drug myself back to the gym when I had zero energy.
Marsha I missed everyone, but I just didn't think I had anything interesting to post, I did lurk and I enjoyed all of the postings so much. I never thought I would lose interest in quilting, but stress makes you do crazy things lol!!!!
Love you Sharon!!!!!!!

    Bookmark   July 17, 2011 at 11:49PM
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I totally agree, how tacky! I too received an "invitation" to a drop in wedding shower after receiving information on where and what to get. I did not attend nor did I send a gift. It just smacks of "drop by and give me a present" attitude. And it was to be held at a church! And if I am "old-fashioned" so be it!
This "bride" had already had a baby, lived with the guy for 2 years, and now decided to get married with all the trimmings. Tacky doesn't even begin to describe this attitude.
Your burp cloths will be a very nice gift and giving it to the grandparents is an excellent idea.
If she had asked for gift cards only, well no telling what I would have said to her and her parents!

    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 5:57AM
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Welcome back Rosa! This is a great place to recover from whatever. I lurked here every morning just to stay connected to the REAL world while time passed and life got better.

Yes! Showers have gotten strange lately. I have a strict rule. If they aint gonna feed me...I aint going!

    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 8:32AM
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Rosa - I agree that this was in very bad taste, but it must be a trend. Our church was throwing a baby shower for a new mom and she wanted it stated that the only gifts they wanted were gift cards. We stated no such thing. I know there are many in our congregation who could not afford to give a gift card, but they put their time into making thoughtful, useful gifts. A gift is a gift. No one will remember those gift cards, or what they bought with them, but they will remember specific gifts.

Sue - I also use the Gift Registries to get an insight into their color and style choices to use when I make a gift!


    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 9:39AM
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Sue - Good idea to look at the registry for tastes and colors-thanks!

    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 11:35AM
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I have heard some say the 'registered at' is rude too. That part doesn't bother me, I agree it gives ideas of what they need or want. It's a big help to design a quilt for a baby shower too.

    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 11:40AM
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I'd send a card... as a gift... NOT a gift card!

    Bookmark   July 18, 2011 at 12:05PM
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