family update

lots2doNovember 24, 2006


I went to Maine today and spent over two hours with my mom. She appeared to be sleeping the whole time. (She did speak to the nurses when they talked to her). The very kind physical therapist told the social worker how my visit was going (without me knowing about her concerns) and he came up and talked to me at length privately. It seems that I am the symbol or whatever for her anger right now. My brother goes tomorrow so we will see what kind of a visit he has. She is not eating but is on an IV for nourishment. I don't feel that she has long to live. She doesn't seem to have much will to live right now. (All of her tests have come back negative so they really still don't know what is wrong).

Thanks for listening...

Kelly - Lots2do

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I am so sorry Kelly. Sometimes it is so frustrating and seems they can simply will themselves away. Perhaps your brother will be able to get thru to her. Please don't allow yourself to become depressed (easier said than done I know). Take care and you will be in my prayers.


    Bookmark   November 24, 2006 at 10:53PM
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Kelly, I know it's hard right now, my prayers are with you.
Please take care of yourself and as Beverly said, don't allow yourself to become depressed.
You and your mother continue in my thoughts and prayers.


    Bookmark   November 25, 2006 at 12:27AM
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Thanks for your messages. I appreciate your support.
I just got off the phone with my brother. He had a similar visit today. He was able to speak to her doctor who said that the hospital will probably start to talk about discharging her midweek. He suggests that she move closer to one of us so that she will get company (or stimulation, as the Dr. put it). I think that my brother has some ideas in mind but couldn't talk at length when he called.
Kelly - Lots2do

    Bookmark   November 25, 2006 at 4:41PM
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I am so sorry to hear this. It's very sad, and painful for you, I'm sure. Hang in there and do your best to not take it personally. (Sounds like it's not personal anyhow since your brother had a similar experience.)

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Bookmark   November 26, 2006 at 12:31PM
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Kelly, How are things today? It must be difficult for you and your brother. You are in my prayers.


    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 9:02AM
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Thanks for asking,Sharon-
I am home sick with a terrible cold. Woke up with no voice and my DH said, "you can not teach today." He was right. So I have done nothing but rest today so I can go back tomorrow.
My brother called and left a message yesterday on our machine. I didn't hear it until today since I had my last killer class last night at the college and didn't get in until 10 pm. Apparently mom was moved to the cardiac unit because of an irregular heart beat. He saw her yesterday and said that she was smiling and talking and much improved. Phew- I am so relieved. I will be talking to him later to find out more info.
We are supposed to get her cat from the catsitter's on Saturday and drive her (the cat) up to Midcoast Maine where another relative will look after her. We usually go to Bar Harbor every year at this time as a family to just relax so I am hopeful that it will be safe for me to go this year.
Again, thanks for thinking of me,
Kelly - Lots2do
PS Some of you may remember when the DS was anxious about trying out for hockey and taking it out on me. The last tryouts were last night and he didn't make the cut. But...I was able to ask if he could go back to his in-house team even though they have been skating for three weeks. He can! This league is very low pressure, meets once a week, works on skills, no checking allowed. (They split up and scrimmage against each other). Both DH and I separately let him know how proud we were of him for trying out. He is a little disappointed but he'll be okay.
(Sorry this is so long, I guess this is what happens when I stay home and don't talk to anyone all day)!

    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 3:48PM
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I am thinking and praying for you - and your Mom. It is so difficult when parents are so fragile. FYI, we've lost three parents in the past couple of years and I noticed that with each of them, there were noticible personality changes in the last months. Don't take any of the negativity personally. After a period of time, that will pretty much fade from your memory, the hurt will go away, and your memories will be good ones.

Also - re: the hockey. My three boys played varsity HS hockey at the #1 or #2 (depending on the year) HS in our state. Two then played College (one D1, one D3) hockey. Honestly, the mind games and back-stabbing was gruesome. There are no smiles in HS hockey anymore; even when you win the state title - the stress is ridiculous. None of my boys have great memories. Number 3 son now plays club hockey at his college and is loving it...the coach is approachable and respectful (nice change) and for the first time in a very long time, he is having fun playing hockey. When we originally met some of the guys on the club team, one actually said - "remember when hockey was fun??? - This is!" He was right. I love seeing #3 come out of the locker room after a game smiling and laughing. Son #2 recently told him that he had made a good decision.

So - encourage your son to enjoy hockey and to value the opportunity to still experience fun. It allows him time to have other things in his life and to develop in other ways. It also spares you the 'difficult' parents that frequent varsity hockey - trust me - the things they can say about your kid are terrible...there's nothing quite like hearing 2 dads wish that your son will get hurt so that one of their sons can "have his job" except possibly seeing them high-5 when your kid actually does blow out his knee.
Good Luck

    Bookmark   December 2, 2006 at 11:47AM
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hlac-I am relieved that my DS is back in the inhouse league for hockey. You are right, it is a league just for fun and some no pressure skill building. I would have preferred that he started in it last month right away but he wanted to try out for the HS team and it really was his decision.
Mom may have Guellin Barre syndrome. They are doing more tests.
Kelly (Lots2do)

    Bookmark   December 4, 2006 at 5:31PM
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Hi Kelly,
How's Mom doing? Hope things are well...Thinking of you...

    Bookmark   December 9, 2006 at 3:16PM
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Hi Helen,
Thanks for asking. No real change in Mom's condition and no new news from the doctors. She's been in the hospital now for 4 weeks! I plan on visiting soon. This time DH is going with me.
Take care,

    Bookmark   December 10, 2006 at 5:40PM
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I've been thinking of you also.

Hope your visit goes well.


    Bookmark   December 11, 2006 at 10:41PM
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