rosajoe_gwSeptember 3, 2007

I try not to judge and I usually keep my opinions to myself about other peoples lives.

BUT, we have been helping a friend whose 25 year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer, the daughter has a little 4 year old girl (not married and father has disapeared) and living with an unemployed father of 3 small kids. My friend has paid many of their bills and we have tried to help out. She is on welfare and pregnant, the baby was still born and extremely deformed. They could not pay for the funeral so we tried to get them help.

The unemployed boyfriend is a lousy example of a father and today we were told that she is pregnant again.

I am ready to say to this person that I am not helping any more when you obviously do not care enough to help your self and your kids.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I simply do not understand this destructive and demeaning behavior. I told my friend to stop making payments for the lazy boyfriend and maybe he will get a job.

am I just getting too selfish in my old age, or am I just fed up with users that will continue to take, and take, and take??


Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo


    Bookmark   September 3, 2007 at 11:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Rosa, You most definitly are NOT being selfish, actually just the opposite! In trying to help it sounds like you were enabling them. Time for them to grow up & realize, as we all have to do at some point, and take responsibility for what happens in our lives. It is the hard times that makes us strong...I speak from experience :)
Helen May

    Bookmark   September 3, 2007 at 11:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You are not being selfish. I don't mind helping those who are struggling and trying to survive on their own. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Enough is enough and there is no reason to throw good effort after bad.


    Bookmark   September 3, 2007 at 11:18PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I completely agree! It's not like you haven't helped her start over...she's just not learning. Unfortunately our system is also enabling. THe more kids she has, the more money she gets. Not that that is her reason for getting pregnant, but there is still a pay off for her.

You have done your share. It sounds like it's time for you to step back and come what may. Your friend would be wise in doing the same thing (though tough love is harder when it's your kid/grandkid)

    Bookmark   September 4, 2007 at 8:08AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Although it is hard to see our kids struggle, it is what makes them strong. Your friend may get some strength from you if you step back and let her know you think you feel you have done enough. They do need to take responsibility for themselves.

I am whispering a prayer for you for strength to stand your ground.


    Bookmark   September 4, 2007 at 8:41AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks to all of you. My DH and I had already decided that we need to step back and say no, but it was a hard decision to make. I just needed someone to tell me I was making the right choice. The young lady always calls crying and yesterday I refered her to our pastor and then I didn't answer the phone for the rest of the day.
My heart still goes out to those 'that have to learn the hard way' if they ever do learn.

    Bookmark   September 4, 2007 at 12:16PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Wow Rosa - what a wonderful thing to do to reach out and try and help someone in need, and what a strong thing to do to pull back when that became the right thing to do. It reminds me of the serenity prayer..

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


    Bookmark   September 5, 2007 at 12:27AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Washing polyester quilt tops?
Hello, My granny recently gave me a couple of quilt...
The Zelda Quilt-Along
We launched Zelda: The Quilt-Along on my blog yesterday....
2015 Block Lotto At a Glance
This is going to be a long post, so apologies in advance...
a question regarding binding
I know. I'm just full of questions. I want to make...
Are you quilting this weekend? March 27-29
I stayed up late last night making a teapot block for...
Sponsored Products
Pregnancy Cuddle Pillow
$19.99 | zulily
Rocker Lounge Chair in White
$160.00 | LexMod
Beautyrest Personal Wedge Pillow
STOTT PILATES New Mommas Pilates Package - DC-85184
$199.99 | Hayneedle
Bananafish Calico Owls 3 Piece Crib Set - COA0683
$88.27 | Hayneedle
Science of Sleep Angled Specialty Foam Wedged Sleep Aid for Heartburn and Acid R
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™