Out of the mouths of babes...

caroline1947August 3, 2007

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a

human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". ?

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while

they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each

child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what

the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl

replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)

answered, "Thou shall not kill."?? ?

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes

at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several

strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,

"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up

and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,"And there's the teacher, she's dead. "

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.?? Trying to

make the matter clearer, she ?said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,

the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the

face.."?? "Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary

position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch.?? At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies.?? A child had written a note, "Take

all you want - God is watching the apples.

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Thanks for the chuckle I enjoyed them!

    Bookmark   August 3, 2007 at 2:55PM
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Those are funny!

    Bookmark   August 5, 2007 at 8:19PM
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