Our cat is a stalker! Advice please...

mattie_gtOctober 14, 2010

Hi everyone, I hope someone can offer some advice. Here's the background; we have cat-sat a relative's older spayed female for years when he is on business trips. She's a quiet loner type who's never been a problem. Last year we took in a stray part Maine Coon, so he's gotten pretty big. He's a (now) neutered male. When our guest cat first came to visit, all was fine - but the second time (pre-neutering) he followed her all around the house non-stop, upsetting her to the point where we finally separated them. I don't think he was trying to upset her (he wasn't attacking or hissing or anything)- he's just a big sociable doofus who doesn't seem to understand that she just wants to be left alone.

So, this past summer we adopted two adult spayed females from the shelter. Our three cats get along great; sometimes our male and one of the females will wrestle and play but there is no fighting and they're often napping together.

On to now.... Our guest cat is back for a few weeks. We hate having to keep her separate because she doesn't get to lay in the sun, is away from us, etc. We were hoping that now that our male was more accustomed to other cats he wouldn't follow her around like an obsessive ex-boyfriend - but he still is. I really don't think he means any harm but I don't think the guest cat knows that, and is understandably a bit concerned because he's about four times her size. It's only been a few days but she's been hiding under our bed a lot (while our big oaf naps next to it), instead of last visit when she'd sit on the windowsill.

Should I leave them to work it out? Should I segregate them again? Should I give it some time? She'll be here for about two more weeks this time, and will almost certainly be back in future. Any advice would be appreciated, please!

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

LOL! "obsessive ex-boyfriend" what a great description.

I think if she's under the bed, and he's sleeping next to it ... they are on their way to working it out already. Give it time.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2010 at 1:08PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks, pamghatten! I feel badly because guest cat has been staying with me for years, for up to a month or two at a time, and I don't want her to be so worried now that she decides it's easier to just hide all of the time. At the same time, I don't want our cats to have to all be locked out of a room, nor do I want guest-cat to have to be locked in unnecessarily.

I just wish that the lummox would understand that she doesn't want to be friends with him. He was still an older kitten when she first came to visit; maybe he thinks she's his mother.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2010 at 1:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I think it depends on how 'old' she is. Even though the guest cat has been at your house before, she's now coming to a place where there are other cats. It can be difficult for a cat to adjust to changes and even more so when they visit another home and enter another cat's territory.
Even if she were to adjust quickly this time, she would have to make this adjustment every time she visits.

I would worry that she's not using the litter box regularly nor eating normally, which could lead to health issues. If she prefers a certain room I'd let her have it to herself, especially since you said she's a loner.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2010 at 4:05PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I would get a harness and a leash for the maine coon mix...problem solved

    Bookmark   October 14, 2010 at 5:58PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I agree with annz. My cat is the same with our dogs, she's old now and they are just too noisy and rambunctious for her to be around so she spends a lot of time outside now sleeping on the sunlounge. If she comes in and finds a quiet place to settle down I just close the door to keep the dogs out of the room so she can have a snooze in peace without the dogs pestering her. She's fine with it and I suspect your visiting cat will be quite happy to be just chill out on her own for a lot of the time.

I'm guessing she spends time alone at her own place and isnt used to living with other cats so she'd be used to having her own time to herself anyway. She's only going to be there for a few weeks so I dont think getting her used to your cats is really that useful and she's stressed out being around your cat. Cats are very independent animals so they dont need to be around people all the time and they do enjoy their own company so I would just keep them separated as much as possible.

one other thing is that when cats are stressed (and being away from home is stressful) they prefer small spaces because it makes them feel safe (such as being under the bed because she's stressed around your cat), so she really doesnt need or perhaps even want a run of the house when she knows there are other cats are around.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2010 at 11:56PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks everyone for your replies! My husband said she was out and about for a bit last night; I told him that if she is not at least out from under the bed more often in another day or two she's getting her own room back. (My husband is the eternal optimist, I am a pessimist.)

I wish I knew what she wanted; she doesn't seem to mind the two females and if she's out when they come in they pretty much ignore each other. And she does like to wander the house - until the male comes galumphing around.

He does have a harness; I hadn't thought of that. Before we got the two newest, we'd switch cats at night (guest got the room during the day while he ran the house, in evening and at night she got the run out of the house and he went into the finished basement). Since the two females don't seem to bother her maybe that's an option again too.

Thanks again, everyone. Ideally, of course, they'd co-exist nicely; I just worry that he's never going to lose interest, she's going to be intimidated, and we should have just kept them separated.

Oh, and she is eating, drinking and coming out at some time to use the litter box.

I probably worry too much but really, this is the only place guest cat can stay while relative travels - nobody wants her to be in a kennel for two or three weeks at a time.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2010 at 9:19AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I just wanted to post a quick update in case anyone reading might have a similar issue. Saturday I was tidying the bedroom and had had enough of male cat underfoot trying to find a good vantage point to stare at guest cat, so I put him in the basement. No sooner had I done so than guest cat came downstairs and wandered around the house - so it was obvious that her problem was with him and not the other two.

Yesterday, whenever he'd "stalk" guest cat I'd reprimand him and put him in the basement for an hour or two - by last night he was very studiously ignoring guest cat (he'd come upstairs while she was there, and apparently deliberately lay down on the opposite side of the room and look away from her). Guest cat has been out lying in the sun this weekend and is currently roaming around so I am cautiously optimistic. Thanks for the advice!

    Bookmark   October 18, 2010 at 9:36AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
murraysmom Zone 6 OH

Congratulations!! Seems like a very good solution and boy cat is a quick learner!! Good job!!

    Bookmark   October 18, 2010 at 9:36PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
What cute/funny things do your cats do?
I have one cat who fetches and will bring me toys asking...
Spray to deter cat scratching woodwork
Does the spray work? I almost bought a bottle at PetCo...
Need some advice regarding my neighbor's dogs.......kinda long....
She has 3 dogs - 12 yr old Collie (some arthritis issues),...
Cat pees in bathtub
Why does he do this. I think it is the only place...
How Do I Get Smell Out Of Pet Bed?
I got a really nice clean looking orthopedic pet bed...
Sponsored Products
Couristan Recife Summit Indoor/Outdoor Area Rug - Blue/Black - 1043/5000-5.3X7.6
$69.00 | Hayneedle
Natalie Shag Area Rug
$189.00 | FRONTGATE
Hughes Leather Armless Sofa - Brighton Ciment Gray
Joybird Furniture
Serena & Lily Gobi Embroidered Sheet Set
Serena & Lily
Dark Bronze Swing Arm Floor Lamp
Cost Plus World Market
Software - Satin Charcoal Shade Ovo Table Lamp
Lamps Plus
WW 134793-R 5C Green Wire 100 LED Christmas Net Light
Adelaide Brown Leather Modern Sectional Sofa
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™