Leaving for 30 days - worried

carrie630September 11, 2011

Okay - this is the first time I've ever posted on this wonderful forum.. I am usually on the garden forums...

I am leaving next week for 30 days to visit Mom in another state. My husband will be home for the duration - in and out of the house. I am very close to our ten year old male cat.. Close in the sense that I know exactly what he wants since he is a great communicator...but only I KNOW what he needs.

In other words, I pay a LOT of attention to him and he is very attached to me. He plays with my husband once in a while but I am home all day with him and he is near me all the time. My husband loves him, too - but it's obvious that he is closest to me.

We have two other female cats that have to be separated from him for reasons I can't go into - it works, since we have a huge house and separating them has been easy.

My question: He will miss me. I am worried that his health will fail since he will think I am never coming back... It's been on my mind and my husband says he will "pay attention" to him but a little playing here and there can't substitute the fact that he will miss my affection towards him all day long.. on my lap, near my computer, etc.

Is this normal to worry? I can't believe I am stressed over leaving a cat!! I just love him so much and he's so sweet... Thanks


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Why don't you take him with you? If you can't for some reason (like Mom is allergic to cats) then he'll probably do fine if DH follows the regular routine and also keeps him separated from the other cats.

My dog is terribly attached to me and is my shadow when I'm home. He has very little to do with my DH and even guards (with stance, no growling) the food bowl when DH gets near it. I've left the house before for nearly 3 weeks and my dog does fine. He realizes DH is the one to now give him attention, feed him, etc. and doesn't show any signs of missing me except for staring at the garage door every now and then. Since your cat likes your DH I think it will be the same. His affection will be more directed at DH during your absence.

DH being around, even though in and out of the house, will be MUCH better than an empty house and a pet sitter checking in!

    Bookmark   September 11, 2011 at 11:30AM
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Thank you, annz

Yes, Mom won't allow the cat... it's an 8 hour drive anyway and plus she would hate the hair - I am NOT like my Mom ;0) I've had German Shepherds, Goldens and cats - I like my house orderly and clean, but if there are hairs (which of course there are always hairs), then I just do my best... I love my animals.

I do worry about how much time he will spend with the male but they do get along - he likes when my husband spins him on the floor in the mornings (weird..) and looks forward to that everyday. Times like when he has this turn of the head, etc. to tell me he wants to go on the screened porch, stuff like that - my husband would never pick up on..

Okay - I can't worry - Thanks for your support


    Bookmark   September 11, 2011 at 2:17PM
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Cats are more attached to their homes than their people. So I think you're doing the right thing by leaving kitty home. As long as there are people around to feed him he'll be fine. It will be harder on you :)

    Bookmark   September 12, 2011 at 7:34PM
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Thanks, cynthia He's so sweet. My husband and I have Iphones with the "face-time" feature.

He is going to call me and show him me on the phone - He can hear me and see me moving and I will be able to say all the usual stuff only I say to him - LOL

PS My son will also come to visit to add more people for them to see.

    Bookmark   September 13, 2011 at 9:33PM
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We went away once and left my 19 year old son to take care of the dog and the Siamese cat. We were only gone a few days to the shore, but when we got home, the cat's black face had turned grey!! I could not believe it, but then it went to black again. I know just how you feel. I have a relationship like that with one of my four cats. I love her to pieces and know she would miss me. I'm sure yours will do fine.

    Bookmark   September 14, 2011 at 3:06AM
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Did anyone ever tell you why her face changed color? I had never heard that before.

Ours is black with white collar and white paws and the sweetest, precious animal I've ever had... (although all animals are precious). I will tell my husband about your experience. Strange..


    Bookmark   September 14, 2011 at 7:51AM
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I think it was stress. My son didn't give Simon the attention I gave him, but he recovered quickly and lived to 21.

    Bookmark   September 14, 2011 at 12:40PM
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OMG, 21? How wonderful for you!

Thanks for the information. I will tell my husband to pay extra attention to our boy... We practiced with the IPhone and not sure if that would freak him out! LOL Seeing his "mom" inside a phone may really confuse him.... :0)


    Bookmark   September 15, 2011 at 5:52AM
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Hi Carrie, i know exactly how you feel, i have a dog who's 17yrs and shes my shadow and i take her everywhere i go and shes stuck to me at the hip when im at home so i have been through your situation a few times... I had to think of a way so she would not miss me as much and what i did approx 3wks prior to leaving on vacation i thought of a way to get her ready for mommy not being here for awhile, first i left her alone alot, i wouldnt let her sit on me as often at home nor did i take her out like i did all the time, i felt bad but i was not doing her a favour had i not done this...my dad comes down to babysit her while were away, however interesting enough this time my dad said my gosh what did u do, she did not whine or cry at night at all, and that he could not believe how well she did, she even ate her food...shocking...but i had to do something casue i was thinking of cancelling our trips cause i didnt want to leave her, shes a little pom whos the cutest little thing and luvs to be held and petted, i do spoil her i must admit but what can u do when that cute face looks at you...so maybe try some of those things i did and apparently it worked out great!! but we all know all animals r different..hoping this little advice may help..let me know how she does...good luck and im sure she will be fine especially your huby will be there so that helps big time....have fun on your trip....

    Bookmark   September 15, 2011 at 6:05PM
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hummerbabe... Great minds think alike! LOL

I DID try and not pay as much attention to him (easier actually with cats than dogs)... Problem is I started thinking maybe he would think I was sick or something. Like I would walk by him instead of cuddling every time I passed him, stuff like that. This was very hard to do as I love him so much.

Then I thought, no... I need to sit down and have a talk with him. I explained to him that I will be back, etc.etc.
It was a great talk. Yep, we had a nice "chat".....

LOL LOL.... Now if life were really like that, what a world it would be...

I enjoyed your post. Thank you


    Bookmark   September 16, 2011 at 8:54PM
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Cats are very scent-oriented. Wear a soft t-shirt for a couple of nights, and leave it in the cat's favorite sleeping place as a security blanket.

Leave EXPLICIT written instructions for your husband.

    Bookmark   September 18, 2011 at 2:09PM
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