We haven't had a good CL-bashing thread lately. Here's a classic from my area. Any good ones on your CL lately?
Here is a link that might be useful: Tall lamp
Curb Alert - Hot Water Tank
Date: 2012-03-04, 3:13PM EST
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Bent Maple Ct.,
I delete this post when it's gone.
Here is a link that might be useful: Actual ad
No way would I show up alone to get this stuff:
Free New English Leather after shave/cologne
(Canal - U Must Pick Up)
Date: 2012-03-03, 1:53PM EST
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Free New English Leather after shave/cologne -- U Must Pick It Up- No Transportation -- If this is Still Up its Avail.
No Clue why I bought it, But Want it gone ! NO CALLS & I Won't hold for Any1
Located on Rossi Dr - so you send Me Your Name and Time Ur picking it up then you get my exact address & a trime frame to Arrive(due to no shows)
oh, that tall lamp ad you posted is a classic!!
Free old living room suite
Date: 2012-02-27, 8:10PM EST
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Couch, love seat and recliner. Beige fabric with blue and brown accents. Love seat and couch are reclining. Springs in seats are worn out and the reclining backs give out and you have to keep putting the bolts in to keep the backs upright, but it is free to anyone that will come pick it up. Message for address.
OK, none of those is as good as the lamp ad, but here's my best effort, and I have no idea what this is (or what I call it):
Date: 2012-02-25, 8:55PM EST
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I DONT NO WHAT U ALL CALL IT BUT WE CALL ITA CANARDY.
ITS A BLUE PLASTIC ONE. PRETTY NEW. GOT LIKE A FEW
MONTHS AGO BU DONT NEED IT NOW SO U CAN COEME GET IT
WERE MOVIN SO BETER COME TODAY OR TOMO. EMAIL 4 DIRECTONS
Utter waste of time ad. Can you imagine trying to deal with this person? What do you offer? $25 or $250? Sheesh.
These lovely vintage chairs belonged to my Grandmother. They are over 50 years old, so they are well loved.
They measure 37 inches from top of flower backing to floor.
I haven't determined a price for the set. Will take best offer.
Here is a link that might be useful: Heartback chairs
Oh, those heart backed chairs are sure sweet, and I'll bet that they were well loved. However, the owner needs to make a decision on how much they want!
And the canardy? Maybe that's just a joke? I guess a picture would help!
Card Table +2 shares - $5000
actual ad: http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/fud/2863147071.html
not sure what 'shares' are ( chairs? ) or if they meant 50.00? I hope it wasn't 5000!
I am SO glad I opened this thread... I needed a good laugh tonight! Thanks to everyone who posted... that lamp ad is priceless.
I don't know if this is normal or not, but it seems like they're looking for an awful lot (hope they're planning to pay over $1)!
Condo Furniture needed - $1
I am looking to completely furnish a 2 bedroom / 2 bath condo in Victor Idaho (near Jackson Hole).
I would like to purchase all the furniture at one time by someone vacating a condo/ home in the area.
I would need:
2 beds and bedroom furniture
Couches, coffee table, dining room table,
Everything else that would accompany furnishings such as lamps, coffee makers, toasters, etc.
I will be in the area on April 15th. Please send pictures, price and location
Here is a link that might be useful: Actual Ad
I'm still stuck on the canardy.
WTH???????????? Am I the only one who can't figure out what the canardy is?
At first I thought they mis-spelled the bird, but then I kept reading,
Right, what the heck is a canardy?
The main thing I see is when I search for retro or vintage items is that the stuff looks like the rooms in the Febreeze commercials that looks like a trash heap. Of course, today I can't find anything like that.
polly929, my DD and I have been saying ca-NARDee...CAN-ardee..canar-DEE--can't figure it out. :[
Too funny. I always wonder about the folks who don't include a picture and say they'll post one later.
As for the canardy--I'm picturing a blue plastic Kennedy. Maybe Ted.
Thanks for the laughs! I too wonder what a canardy is? Maybe a joke to see how many calls they get?
This is a weird one -
smokes for vodka (pineridge)
Date: 2012-02-09, 6:43PM MST
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
trade 2 packs canadian classic reg for mickey of smirnoff
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Here is a link that might be useful: smokes for vodka
Short but intriguing post in my area...
Wanted: avocado toilet
And to stick with my theme...here's a picture of a potty chair another poster is advertising as a potential planter...
y'all let me know if I can get you that contact information...
How about this one:
I have a blue sweatshirt with a somewhat noticeable grease stain. It
has a zipped collar and a ribbon decoration. Would anyone like to
alter it, or use it for a craft? Please mention when you can pick it
up from my porch.
yep, we get 'em here also. I often want to email the people and ask why they bother posting certain things w/o giving hght, width etc. Some things ya just need to know to tell if you might be able to use it. Then i figure - why bother? and why should I bother (and any others) to even call/email to ask. Either they get bombarded with ph calls/emails asking those questions or no one calls/emails.
even if the item is something that might be what I'm looking for, I usually just skip right over it...
I figure they really aren't that interested in selling it.
we get a lot of stripper poles - a recent one was even new- never used. wow. any takers on that?
Home decorating thread title: "What does this room need?"
Reply: A canardy would really pull your room together. Don't use blue though.
You all have reminded me that I should check CL from time to time. And you know what? I've been thinking about getting rid of some things, too. What do you think of this wording for my CL ad:
"We're clearing the clutter here! I'm not sure exactly what we'll be selling, but the list will be long. I promise that everything will be clean and in great shape! Make an offer! (Followed, of course, by the usual verbiage about NOT contacting the seller)"
Oh, and deee? Don't you know anything at all about decorating? The blue canardys (canardies?) are the rarest and most valuable. When I was growing up, all my parents' friends had canardies (canardys?) in either green or white. I NEVER even saw a blue one until after I graduated college, and I've been looking for one ever since!
It's blue. It's at least partially plastic. Could it be the elusive canardy?
a blue canopy?
World's greatest coffee table for a song - $1500 (McLean)
"a steal"? Maybe the laugh's on me because that thing is worth more than 5,000?
Here is a link that might be useful: An expensive song
Sooo funny! Thanks for sharing. The English Leather ad...haha!!!
Oh, my gosh, bluemoon, that very potty chair is sitting in my basement. Without the magazine rack and the TP holder. Do you think that will take much from its value?
(I painted ours white with stencils of bunnies and birds in blue and green. Very country. I thought of putting a cushioned seat on it and turning it into a toddler chair, because it's a total failure as a potty - they can't sit back far enough to pee in the bowl.)
Beautiful and unique outdoor driftwood furniture. Customized to suit the New England climate. What more could you ask for? Some of the pieces are even completely finished!
Here's the ad:
I have several pieces of driftwood I make into furniture.
All outdoor pieces are hand waxed and very stable to sit on.
The pieces are beautiful. I have several pieces that are complete and some that are not. I am able to customize any piece to you liking.
All pieces are very unique and custom to the environment here in New England. I take great pride in my work and work extremely hard in making these as beautiful as I possibly can. Below are are couple pictures of some pieces. Please let me know if you have any questions. Serious inquires only. Email any questions
Here is a link that might be useful: driftwood
My entry. No photos, of course:
Very vintage collectible spaghetti poodle collection - $1
I have one gigantic one I purchased from Hanna's antiques downtown ten years ago and paid over $400 for that I am sure is worth over $1000 in excellent condition and I am not asking that much for the entire collection. Different colors, with sunglasses, walking puppies, etc. Pink, blue, grey, etc.
Anyone interested please call immediately. Will sell entire collection or separately.
That being said, last week I sold an ottoman and an IKEA Poang chair on CL. And we bought some new old dining room chairs. So it does work if used correctly!
And I have to add that I did look up "spaghetti poodle" an apparently they are collectible figurines. But how was I supposed to know that?
This was on mine today:
Full size coffin decoration - $50 (olympia)
Date: 2012-03-04, 7:30PM PST
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Homemade dracula type coffin, its lined inside, and in pretty decent shape. It has some stains from things that have been spilled on it, but it wouldnt be hard to clean up. Its been used several times as a drink cooler, lined with a tarp or plastic. Of course its only a decoration, Im sure you cant bury someone legally in this, and if you did you must of not liked 'em much! Its heavy. Need it gone. 50 obo or will trade for something cool, what do ya got? I collect legos, those always work. Thanks for reading. 360-918-6822
Here is a link that might be useful: cl ad
I am cheating because this is from Ruby Lane, not CL:
Extremely Large Middle Eastern Copper Covered Brazier. Used to cook two sheep at a time. The cover inverts to form a large platter from which to serve the cooked sheep and rice, the eyeballs reserved for the guest of honor. Great for firewood, coffee table or the next cookout.
i have a 5 ft white couch in really great condition like new color of cat (989)714-6983 10am-3pm (989)401-0281 3pm-10pm terry.
I posted this the last time we did one of these. and the add is still there. he can't seem to figure out why he hasn't sold it in the past 3 months...lol
Here is a link that might be useful: couch the color of cat
Oh, my...just lol here! especially the blue canardy! I actually emailed for info on it asking for its intended use and description, but sadly got no reply. lktpatow---I'll have to assume that you guessed it, and it's the blue potty planter, which was probably snapped up in a heartbeat for a lawn ornament.
Too funny! Here's one on our CL. Having once been a beer can collector who was not above digging up old garbage holes looking for treasure, I'm assuming that's what is meant by "hand dug". Maybe. How many bottles are there though? 100? 1000? "more"?
Here is a link that might be useful: Hand dug bottles
It might be a blue, plastic duck:
Here is a link that might be useful: Canardies
"Canard" is French for Duck ... we may be on to something :)
Here's a "FULL VIEW. Digital drawing/painting of Canardie."
Here is a link that might be useful: drawing of Canardie
Between the world's greatest coffee table for a song and the driftwood furniture, I laughed so hard I cried. Then came the cat-colored couch, and I couldn't breathe.
This is the best thread EVAH!
Heck yeah, I'm heading over to CL. :D
OK, here is one. It is not near the fun you all have posted, but the picture is what really brings it home. Heehee.
Broken kitchen/informal dining room table (it collapsed on us while trying to repair it)
When it was in one piece it easily sat 8-12 people. (8 people when the leaf is out).
It's a square table with a leaf that is on a hinge under the table.
Below are "before" and "after" pictures - just to give you an idea of what you are getting.
All the pieces except a few plastic slider pieces and a few screws are there.
I have no idea if it can be put back together but maybe the pieces can be used to make a smaller table?
Here is a link that might be useful: Table
"Bag full of socks, mostly white. Most have been cut so as to distinguish them from wearing socks."
The picture brings home the whole "Trick or Treat, smell my feet" sing-song. Gee, I hope they are still available!
Here is a link that might be useful: Trick or Treat
Shelyane, the body language of the guy sitting behind the collapsed table tells it all. Hilarious!!
Fabulous glossy cherry red chair painted and added rare pink marilyn monroe fabric and wrote marilyn monroe in pink on top, a one of a kind. If interested call 606-327-6966 .
"Ever notice how 'What the hÃ¯Â¿Â½ll' is always the right answer?"
Ã¢ÂÂ Marilyn Monroe
Here is a link that might be useful: what the...
A bar to match oly-chik's ad.
BAR IS 100'' LONG 41'' WIDE, HERE IS THE UNIQUE POINT, IT'S SIDES AND FRONT IS MADE FROM NEW SOLID OAK CASKETS TOPS, PROBIBLY FROM CLARKSBURG CASKIT CO. COUNTER TOP IS MADE OF THE HARD TO FIND 1960"S BLACK IMITATION SLATE, IN VERY GOOD CONDITION, YOU MUST HAUL, NO DELIVERY'S, PS THE 3 OF US OLDER GUYS WERE ABLE TO PICK UP AND TAKE IN STORE, FURNITURE LIQUIDATORS OPEN MON TO SAT 10AM TO 6PM, SUNDAY 11 TO 5, 1-304-624-4683, PLEASE NO E-MAILS.
Here is a link that might be useful: Dead drunk
Yeah, I can just imagine how that spaghetti poodle has appreciated in value over time, just like my beanie baby collection. I'm sitting on a fortune!
This one isn't really bad, unless you are a vegan. It is odd, though, and funny enough that it was featured in the local paper.:
Hey locavores - goose dinner tonite? (S. Boulder)
You can't get much more local than this...and you don't have to be a hunter to get a fresh goose.
It's a little bizarre, but unfortunately (for me and the goose), I have a fully intact and cleanly dispatched goose (see pic) that's been kept well-refrigerated outside at ~30 degrees since the incident today. Animal Control assures that there's no health risk with geese and it's out of their jurisdiction to come pick it up. I'm not the kind to cook one up, so if you are then first-come first-served if you want a memorable local meal.
E-mail if interested and more pics and info available. By the way, it's a very low roof and easy to reach with the small ladder I have. Couldn't be simpler!
Here is a link that might be useful: Goose Dinner
Hi, I've been lurking this board for a while, but when I look at my Craigslist ads, I always think of this board. These are too funny ! I did find a few ads this weekend that I thought 'what were they thinking?' Here you go...(hope they work !)
Here is a link that might be useful: chair
These are hilarious!
I was going to post that pretty much anything with "unique" in its title is bad. In my search, I found this.
Here is a link that might be useful: Unique Pictures of Roadkill
A new one today . . .
red cherry oak oamwall - $120 (hueytown)
Date: 2012-03-08, 11:33AM EST
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
I have a beautiful cheryy oak oamwall for sale. hardley any scratches. please call or txt Dustin at xxx
What is an oamwall?!?! I'm thinking it's an armoire, but I really have no idea. No picture, of course.
found another one.....
Here is a link that might be useful: Huh?
I'm thinking oamwall = armoire too. LMAO!
But come on, did anyone figure out the canardy??
Ok, we've all seen plenty of "rot iron". But today I found *raw* iron! LOL!
"DECORATIVE MIRROR - RAW IRON - $40 (Jacksonville - Southside)
Large, raw iron decorative mirror.
No scratches or cracks.
Dark iron, leaf design fits with any decor.
Please, only serious inquiries. THANKS! :) "
Here is a link that might be useful: DECORATIVE MIRROR - RAW IRON
OK, here's my contribution:
Need one chair? I got one. One less person around so we got one chair to sell.
There was a 2nd photo: of a guy in a t-shirt. Don't know if it was the seller or the "one less person."
So glad you've resurrected this thread. I've been on the hunt for a drop-front desk and keep running into this ad. Any clue what this means?
"Also one of the two operators is not bent and therefore not connected to the loper like it should be"?
Perhaps I need a canardy to fix it?
Here is a link that might be useful: Secretary desk with something incomprehensible wrong with it
I believe the loper is part of the metal hardware that supports the drop-front when it is lowered (which is why there isn't a photo with the front open). I bet someone in the woodworking forum or maybe the antiques forum could explain it.
Ew, check this one out...
Here is a link that might be useful: CL Link
Here's mine for today:
Anyone need a Bakers Rake? Hey, they show it in a yard, so maybe they did mean rake...
I think this is a first!!!
Here is a link that might be useful: Mid Evil
Ahhh...but how well does it sing?
Here is a link that might be useful: Karaoke(?) Cabinet
Along the lines of poorly worded CL ads, I get emails with Groupon offers. Sometimes they have more than one deal so the title of the email mentions both.
Today the Groupon email title was "Water park entrance/Colon hydrotherapy". Yikes! What exactly would you get if you signed up for that? Yesterday it was "Dolphin cruise/colon hydrotherapy".
I think they need to rethink their pairings.
Woodsy1, I've thinking and thinking trying to figure out what word was misunderstood as "karaoke." First, let me say that I was astonished that the poster knew how to spell the word correctly only to misuse it so badly. Could they have meant, "curiosity?"
I thought that the seller in the one that woodsy1 posted might mean 'tschotske'.
Good guesses, ladies! I thought 'curio', but yours make much more sense. Whatever it means it made me laugh!
I thought it was funny, too, especially after I enlarged the picture to make sure there wasn't actually some kind of cabinet for a karaoke machine...LOL!
Fun2BHere, I'm laughing all over again at the image in my head of you doing that. LOL indeed!
I wonder if it was posted from a device that autocorrects and it turned curio into karaoke?
Here is a link that might be useful: auto correct funnies
Just found an ad for "Mental Chairs" -- they appear to be the old 1950's motel or backyard variety. I don't know what makes them Mental. Do you think it's the kind of Mental where they just go off and lose their tempers without warning? You wouldn't want that while you sat in one of them on a warm summer night while drinking something refreshing, now would you?
Here is a link that might be useful: Mental chairs on Craiglist.
Auto correct can do some funny things - I work for an organization with the word "Sacred Heart" in the name. One time the word "Sacred" got misspelled and the auto correct came back with "Scared" and that got accepted in a document that went to the BOD directors. Pretty funny - not for the guy that did it though.
Macybaby, if I worked for that organization, I'd take "scared" out of my dictionary, so that it never came up as an alternative. The name of my company is also a common word, so I took the *uncapitalized* version of that word out of my dictionary so that spell check doesn't bypass it.
(For example, let's say my company was called "Love". I have little reason to use the word "love" in my daily correspondence, so I took "love" out of my disctionary as an acceptable word.)
I have not laughed as hard IN YEARS as I did at olychick's link above! The tears were streaming down my face last night.
If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out!
When I clicked on olychick's link I was warned of a virus threat. Just FYI.
Hmmm. I have a Mac, but it is a very popular site and the first google hit....so I wonder about the virus warning??? Sorry, if that's true. Maybe people can search for dam you autocorrect, only the dam has an n in it. That site is linked all over the net..so I'm hoping there is no virus!
I have a PC and use Mozilla Firefox and had no problem. I use Norton antivirus. It truly is a hoot, and tonight I looked at some of the 'Parent Texts', which are just as bad.
Someone is offering Th Alarm Clock From Hell:
Wake up to your own little piece of Satan. This wheeled devil wakes you up with a screeching alarm that has only one ear-splitting volume. Then it flings itself off of your nightstand and proceeds to move about with remarkable alacrity and speed, and evades your sleep-deprived efforts to track him down.
Not only will it torture you at the pre-appointed time, but it will occasionally go off at random. If that's not enough, it blinks ominously throughout the night, as if it is an evil genius, communing with Chuckie through some invisible Ouija board, planning your inevitable demise.
The instructions are in badly-translated Japanese, so I'll be damned (along with the alarm clock) if I can determine the correct button combination that would allow me to rip the little bugger's wheels off.
If you would an object that was born and bred in the depths of Dante's Inferno, this will certainly meet your demands. Feel free to use it yourself - or perhaps to offer a not-so-loved one a rude awakening.
This demonic device is yours, for free. All you need to do is pick it up!
Here is a link that might be useful: alarm clock from hell
When I saw 'Pedstools - $60' this AM on CL, I initially thought it may have something to do with pedicures! But no - when I opened the post. Dark Cherry was not a polish color.
Here is a link that might be useful: Pedstools - $60
I always love the odd camera angles on CL. Does no one know how to rotate a picture??
Don't ask me how a found ONE AWESOME deal on "Chesters Drawers".....
Hopefully Chester wasn't still wearing the drawers!
I'm still thinking about the "canardie". It is French for duck (canard), with a historical background. I didn't link all found through the dictionaries. Basically the word means "fake", but also has a number of other meanings outside the US. Apologies, I get into a Word Smith moment and find the information interesting.
Here is a link that might be useful: Webster Dictionary
Today's CL in my area has an 'Easy chair and ottawa - $50'
There are also 'two wick tables where 'very solid and sturdy wicker is all intaked.' (intact)
And 'mc donalds stool - $100' Somehow I don't see a stool from McDonald's fetching $100!
This is a good one -
Antique Woodenware - $50 (Dreamland)
Yes, folks, your eyes are NOT deceiving you!
Listed for several months at $50 here on CraigsList, you can now buy this for $65! Yes, that's right -- for an additional $15 (or 30%) markup, you can get the SAME ITEM that's been languishing, overpriced and unwanted, on the shelf for months!
Act now -- a deal like this won't be around for more than a few years!
Oh, wait. Yes, it will be.
my3dogs, I wonder if the same people who are writing these ads are the same as the ones who are programming autocorrect on devices?
I once saw someone advertising a pair of chairs, "one chair for $50 or both for $115." Sheesh...
olychick, I'm pretty sure the last one came from a person who has been razzed some people selling antiques, where they are asking crazy prices. So, it doesn't sell, jack the price up??? Make it look more valuable?
I have seen the same on eBay where I have been watching an item with a Buy It Now price. It doesn't sell and comes back with a HIGHER BIN price. WHY?
The first two, I just think can't spell, period. :-)
For your next party?
$90 worth of Honey Mustard (Lower Allston)
Date: 2012-05-12, 12:46PM EDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]
Free Honey mustard on Brentwood St. in Lower Allston.
Paid over $100 2 years ago, now it's yours for FREE.
2 boxes, 80-120 dippin' cups, single use.
For pretzel or sandwich use
GET THEM BEFORE THEY'RE GONE.
Here is a link that might be useful: Free Mustard
Too bad they don't have pictures of that honey mustard.