Sad, but true. A letter to the Editor in my local weekly
"Homey", a male pitbull, blonde in color with cropped ears and a long tail, is gone.
To the owner(s) of "Homey" I am very sorry, but I had to shoot him. You see, I discovered "Homey" just a few feet away from a very mangled goat - I had to shoot the goat, too. Goats just don't do very well without a tongue or a throat.
I thought about calling you (phone#******)but, I decided the offer of a reward won't work out.
"Homey" and my goat are buried together on a south facing slope. If you would like the leather collar back, I left it at the paper's office.
My deepest condolences on your loss. I know how it feels.
Name withheld at writer's request