Foster mom 'pep talk' needed plz

homebodymomMay 22, 2012

Hello all,

I am here today looking for a little suppport, and help to not become a foster failure!!!!! I am currently fostering my FIRST pair of kittens from a private rescue group- it is the same rescue where I adopted my 3 cats. I have become soo attached to these 2 kittens I cry everytime I think about returning them for adoption on Saturday. They have been with me 3 weeks and are now 12 wks old. Before my home, the Rescue had them with a different foster home because they needed to be bottle fed. They were to stay with me me until they were big enough to be neutered, vaccinated, and socialized with my 3 cats, my dog, and children. I guess I have done my job and they are now ready for adoption. They will now go to the Rescue owners home until she finds suitable homes, and I am going to get a new pair of babies to raise. This Rescue group does such amazing work saving these babies from the shelter that I wanted to be a part of it. I guess I never anticipated how hard it was going to be to say goodbye. This is soo hard.

Any words of encouragement with people experienced in this will help!!!


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Ginny McLean_Petite_Garden

If it's any consolation, I have the same problem with my own puppies! And it's gotta be tougher when you have kids! I have fostered and treated many different pets over the years and it doesn't make any difference to me whether it is puppies, kittens, foals, or even baby birds, it is always tough to let them go! The only thing I can offer, other than to let you know that I know exactly how you feel, is to pass on my selftalk.

I start repeating to myself, about a week before they go, all the reasons I decided to breed and why I foster in the first place. I love animals, I love being a mom, I love to be a part of this incredible chance to pass on this love to others who feel as I do and most of all to trust that another person or family needs this love in their lives as much as I have it to offer in the form of these beautiful little creatures. Most importantly, to trust myself that I have done my best and it is in their best interest to have a family of their own to love. Cry a while, hug the kids, and let them be a part of the offering, then get prepared to do it all over again knowing it will be repeated with the same care and emotion necessary to grow a life from the start. :)

Thank you for being a foster mom!


A poem from a breeder, when I question why I do this, as tough as it is. It makes me cry everytime but I'm gonna cry anyway. Tears are healing.:) It means they are loved!

I Love My Little puppy.....

I love my little puppy, she makes my house a home.
She always is my best friend, I never feel alone.
She makes me smile, she makes me laugh,
She fills my heart with love ...
Did some breeder breed her, or did she fall down from above?

I've never been a breeder, seen life through their eyes,
I hold my little puppy and just sit and criticize.
I've never known their anguish, I've never felt their pain,
The caring of their charges, through snow or wind and rain.

I've never sat the whole night through, waiting for babies to be born,
The stress and trepidation when they're still not there by dawn.
I've never felt the heartache, of a little life in my hands,
This darling little baby, who weighs but 50 grams.

Should you do that instead of this ....or this instead of that,
Alone you fight, and hope one day, he'll grow up big and strong,
and bring joy to another being, and make a house a home,
You know it's all just up to you, you'll fight this fight alone.

Formula, bottles, heating pads, you've got to get this right,
Hand feeding for this tiny guy, throughout the day and night.
In your heart you know, you're almost sure to lose the fight,
to save this little baby, but God willing ... you just MIGHT.

Day one he's in there fighting, you say a silent prayer,
Day two & three, he's doing well, with lots of love and care.
Day four & five ... he's still alive, your hopes soar to the heavens,
Day six he slips away again, dies in your hands day seven.

You take this little angel, and bury him alone,
With aching heart and burning tears, and an exhausted groan,
You ask yourself "Why do this? ... why suffer all this pain?"
But see the joy your puppies bring... it really self explains.

So, when you think of breeders and label them with "greed",
Think about what they endure to fill another's need.
When you buy a puppy and with your precious dollars part,
We only pay with money ... they pay with their hearts.

    Bookmark   May 22, 2012 at 12:18PM
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Homebody..Why do thou think I don't foster anymore? Kudos to you for doing it , but I couldn't cope. Ten years ago I rescued a pregnant feral cat who had three babies under a neighbors porch. Fortunately mom was friendly..probably dumped when she got pregnant. But she was in miserable shape. Greasy fur ,so skinny I didn't even realize she was pregnant at first. I started feeding her outside and then she appeared skinny so I followed her and found the kittens at 2 weeks old. Brought them all to my house and fostered them for a group. You guessed it. Mom was so dear I had to keep her and kept a baby too and adopted out the two boys. Mom and Daughter are still with me ... fat and happy and always indoors.

Then six years ago I rescued two kittens form a feral mom and raised them together for three months. Mom was really wild and I didn't want the kittens to go feral. Long story..I kept one kitten, would have kept the other but husband wouldn't let me. I still wonder about Buster and hope beyond hope he got as good as life as his brother, Henry who is a sweetie.

    Bookmark   May 22, 2012 at 1:45PM
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Just keep telling yourself the rescue service is going to find loving homes where each one will get individual attention.

    Bookmark   May 22, 2012 at 2:16PM
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Well, homebodymom, I'll say it--why don't you adopt them? You could, you know. Love is love.

    Bookmark   May 22, 2012 at 3:01PM
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There are many different types of good and necessary people in this world.

Some are so good at what they do because they bond with those they help. That usually creates the best outcome for the persons/animals being fostered, but pain for those doing the fostering.

Wear that pain as a badge of honor, for it truly is one. You sacrifice personal feelings to help others have better cats. That is no small sacrifice.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 12:54AM
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YOU CAN do it! You have to think beyond these kittens! YOU ARE SAVING LIVES! I fell in love with every one of my foster dog and cried each time one left, but I knew they went to good homes and I was able to save more precious lives once my current foster found a good forever home. DON'T adopt them, there are so many more that need you! A temp loving home is better than a shelter any day and you will fall in love with the next ones you foster too. Just think of all the starving homeless sick kitties out there that need a warm loving chance at a forever home, you are a HUGE part of helping them, please don't cave! We need you! Think of it this way, these babies are going to good homes. If you keep them then that poor frightened kitten seeking shelter in the rain and eating garbage may not get a chance at a good life. Think about it!

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 1:40AM
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Thanks everyone. I am going to do the right thing, and give them back to the rescue for homing, and pick up my next pair. It is painful, but I know they will find great homes and I can do more to help the situation if I stay strong. My 3 very spoiled "pet" kitties came from this same Rescue. I have to remember that someone fostered them and gave them back so I could adopt/love them forever. I never knew how painful it must have been for their foster families, and I applaud all of you who have been doing this silently. Hopefully it will get easier with time.
Thanks to all for the "pep talk". You guys are great :-) I was really close to caving and adopting them myself!

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 8:48AM
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You're doing the right thing. As I said..I am too weak. Of course I have given most back. Maybe the rescue group could give your name and number to the adopter, so they could call you and give you an update on their new kitty.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 12:03PM
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