If you have an annoying dog -- lock it up when I come over

livvysmomOctober 13, 2006

My friend has a maltese that is just a PEST. When I go over there she barks at the door like I am an ax murderer. Then when she lets you in the dog jumps on your legs (feels really great when wearing shorts). After that when you try to sit on the couch she will annoy you as well. And God forbid you try to eat something. My kids spend the whole time crying because the dog won't leave them alone if they are carrying a snack. The dog also growls (funny how my friend considers this "talking" -- if a German Shephard did it people would freak out!).

I don't know why she doesn't just lock her up in a room when visitors are over. She spends the whole time saying "get down" and threatening her with a squirt bottle but she never actually sprays it. This dog is 8 years old, not a puppy.

If you have a dog and a guest asked you lock it a room (for only a short time of course) -- would you?

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Would I? Of course, I would. But I think it is much preferrable to teach a dog manners and to socialize it.
There are people I am fond of and for reasons of their own they are not crazy about my dogs, cats or other pets, and so I will separate the parties.
If someone wants to live with me in my house though, they better get used to all the inhabitants therein.

    Bookmark   October 13, 2006 at 11:00PM
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If I were asked by someone to lock my dogs up I would certainly do it. Some people just aren't dog or pet people for that matter. When I socialize with a friend like yourself who doesn't really care for my dogs we do it at a restaurant. It puts both of us at ease. That said, when I have guests for dinner party or other type of party with food, I put my guys in my office. When all the food is cleaned up they can come out. I learned a big lesson at pig roast I held many years ago. My now long gone best buddy got a piece of pork - from probably every guest at the party. It was totally my fault for not thinking it out ahead and he was so so sick the next morning. My guys have manners, but when there is food around of course they are going to wait for something to drop. You can't control what others do, only what you and your kids do.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 7:41AM
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Tell them how you feel if they are not receptive you have a choice.

I will not hesitate to *train* anyones dog with whom I come in contact if it is behaving in a way that directly impacts me or my family; and generally speaking the folks with whom we interact are receptive. I can assure you if a friends dog is demanding food from me or my children, jumping, and or growling I WILL have it behave immediately. Period. A stern command, in my experience, is highly effective.

Simply put this dog is poorly trained as is the owner; if you do not accept this behavior from this animal it will learn this and respect your authority and instruction.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 10:57AM
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If she did lock it up it would probably yap like the axe murderer was in the room with it. Your visit still would not be pleasant.It seems that people with little dogs tend to let the dogs be the boss in the household.
If she is a really good friend, maybe she wouldn't mind you trying to take control of the situation yourself instead of watching her with the fake water bottle and all the "get downs" that fail. For instance when he jumps up on the couch with you. Tell him "sit" put him into the sit. Praise him and when ever he is sitting and calmer, pet and love on him and tell him what a good boy he is. That's all the little guy wants from you. Well, and your kids snacks.:-) Maybe bring some treats for the dog next time you visit.
BTW- The sweetest dog I ever owned was a very intelligent Australian Shepherd, who did talk by "growling" so it's not unheard of.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 11:07AM
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Obviously this dog's owner has no clue on how a dog should behave and never socialized or trained it. It is really too bad and there are millions of dog owners just like her out there.

I AM a pet person and I know that that dog would bother me. I don't think complaining about a barking, jumping, clawing, growling, begging dog means you aren't a dog person!

There is no reason at all for dogs to not be socialized and trained. It does not mean you don't love them, on the contrary.

I was at a friend's recently and their year old Jack Russell totally ruled their house. It had tore up and urinated on the furniture, the carpet was also ruined. The dog was barking and jumping and climbing all over everyone and was up on the kitchen counter, back of the couch, in the toilet etc. They think it is cute. I think they'd die if I told them that the stench of the dog's urine/feces hits you in the face like a sledgehammer when they opened the front door.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 3:32PM
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What do you bet they did absolutely no research before they got a Jack Russell? They probably wanted a dog like "Eddie" or "Wishbone" and someone was greedy enough to sell them one with no care about the type home the dog was going to. I feel so sorry for your friends dog. I personally would never own one. I know my limits when it comes to owning certain purebreds.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 4:05PM
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Personally, I do socialize my pets .. they love people and other animals. My Husky is as smart as a whip .. and she went through all sorts of "phases" as a pup and young adult. She howls and growls in play and in "talking". She has also been trained to be the low man on the totum in my home with another smaller dog being the alpha but my cats are always on the top so they arnt hunted or stalked :o)

I have locked up my pet(s) when other people are afraid of them. However .. love me love my pet. If not dont visit me at my home. Locking the dog up will NOT socialize it!!

    Bookmark   October 14, 2006 at 8:26PM
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No, locking up a dog won't socialize it but it hardly is going to hurt it to be locked up for a couple hours when people visit....

    Bookmark   October 15, 2006 at 3:28PM
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Buyorsell .. socializing is exactly that .. socializing your pup or dog with other people and animals. If it were my friend's dog I would suggest keeping him on a leash when I am there and training him when others are around to enjoy them not pestering them. Locking the dog up will not teach him anything .. well it might teach him that being friendly is a bad thing. When our huskey first came to us she was horrible .. she had sever seperation anxiety .. we had almost thought of putting her to sleep as she was so destructive .. but time and love ++ alot of training payed off.

For example .. at dinnertime I can say to my huskey ... "Where are you suppost to be." She will calmly walk over to the bottom of the stairs and lie down. She is never fed at the table and will get a few scraps when we are done. This took a great deal of time to teach her and consistancy. When company comes over all I have to do is call her over and she lays at my feet. We taught her that on lead in the house .. I would keep her by my side and step on the leash while occassionally praising her with a few tiny treats .. any pet takes time and committment .. just like kids consistancy is the key.

She is great with the cats and various kittens we foster. She acts the same with small kids too. Check it out

    Bookmark   October 15, 2006 at 6:56PM
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Do your friend a favor and buy her a copy of "The Dog Listener" by Jan Fennell. The constant correcting of the dog is making the situation worse-the dog is getting attention from bad behavior.

That said, yes-if someone was bothered by my dogs I would secure them elsewhere while they visited. But, I probably wouldn't invite them over often either.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2006 at 7:32PM
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I have a friend w/ a huge brown lab, and altho the dog is getting old, she's still a huge pest. Every time I go there she jumps up on me and nearly knocks me over and scratches my leg. Friend says she likes you. This dog is fat as well and just slobbers all over my lap when i sit down. I hate when friend stops in my yard because I have a pond and think the dog will jump in it..She large and doesn't behave but the owner thinks it's cute..NOT!

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 3:15AM
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Don't blame the dog, blame the owner.

That sounds like a classic case of poor training.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 4:47PM
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I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. The dog lives in the house, not you!

I currently have two dogs. Other people tell me they are well trained. I just know that we've worked out an arrangement with each other that works. But I have noticed that some of my guests just simply don't like dogs or perhaps they simply don't understand them. I have had one or two of these suggest that I handle the dogs to their satisfaction. I politely ask them to either hold their tongues or they can leave.

I too find yappers annoying. I too don't appreciate a dog that isn't trained and handled properly. Like kframe19 sez, blame the owner. But I'm also just a guest and the dog lives in that home. Under those circumstances I keep my visits brief and hold my tongue. After all, I don't have to live there.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 6:30PM
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Of course its the owner's fault.

I weigh a hundred-and-change and have been the recipient of claw marks and bruises from boisterous neighbor dogs who aren't trained not to jump up on people. I steer clear of them now - what else can one do? Pity - the owners are nice and all but they can't stop their animal from hurting me so I have no choice but to avoid them.

I have put my dog away in a room when people come over. Workers who can't be bothered while they're fixing the dryer or whatever, as well as people who aren't that comfortable with dogs. I do it before being asked. No biggie. Also, my dog is a little dachsie and if I'm having a house full of people over I'll put him away for everyone's protection. I don't want him being accidentally stepped on - or a visitor tripping on him.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 7:08PM
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Hi,For the most part i have to agree with kframe. I do have a hound-blueheeler that forgets himself around some people.Have a doggie door and when i say firmly"out!!" he disapears till visitors are gone.No hard feelings anywhere. My dogs bark when someone comes to door which i encourage as i live alone.Friends know my 2 dogs behave.
I have a bigger problem with all the children running around with worse training and socialization than most dogs i know. I love dogs and kids.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 12:43AM
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No one should go to someones house and have to be ruled by a dog. Claws hurt and dig. Begging for food ,yapping , jumping up on you are not right. I love dogs. But I would not enjoy my visit to anyones house if the dog did this.Granted its the owners fault for not training the dog. But if they haven't trained it. Then they should keep it away from company if it displays this behavior the whole time you are there. And small children should not have to be scared of dogs.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 11:32AM
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I have a jack russell,shes never gone in the house,never ruined anything of mine.Youre missing out on a really great dog,shes very protctive,loving smart dog.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 8:09AM
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The problem with people who have dogs is sometimes the owners do not establish themselves as the alpha dog immediately. This is not good. You are the boss of that dog. And the dog will be comfortable in that situation because in a normal dog pack there is an alpha wolf or head of the pack.

It seems to be worse in owners who have little teeny dogs. They treat the dogs like a baby and spoil them rotten. For some reason owners put up with behavior in a tiny animal that they would never ever stand for in a larger breed. Biting, nipping, food stealing.

All doggies will benefit from some training classes if necessary. They are training for the owners as well as the dogs!

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 2:42PM
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since this is a debate forum......

I, like simpleman disagree. "Our" home means me, my husband, our dogs and our cat. They are fairly well behaved, but not perfect. If you choose to come into our home, then I'm not banishing my dogs to a closed off room. Having kids carrying snacks is begging for attention from the dogs and it's a tease.

It's probably best you and your friend visit at a restaurant or a park if you're not comfortable with her furry family member.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 3:31PM
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Yep, I agree with isolating the annoying dog. My dog is loud and annoying and when people come over Molly goes to the garage with a treat. But I live in the country and I like having a protective dog. She's not large, only about 30 lbs, but she is defensive of me and barks like crazy when someone comes to the door. And that suits me just fine. But I would never expect a guest to put up with a pest in my home. I occasionally will isolate a cat or two as well. Cheryl

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 3:47PM
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Gosh, maybe I'm missing something. Why is an annoying dog any more of a problem tnan an annoying child or obnoxious adult?

When you come to visit and your kids push every button on my stereo and/or tv or pull stuff out of my garage and strew it over the yard, am I to expect the parents to lock them in a room until the visit is over? Should they repay me for my time spent putting my house back in order or repay me for my out of pocket expense for the damaage THEIR children cause? When the children whine incessantly, why is that less annoying than my mishaving dog?

When I visit friends and one of them becomes obnoxious and annoying should I expect them to leave the house too?

I am NOT equating people with animals! But the point is it is MY home. Not yours. Yes, I have pretty well behaved dogs, but if you don't like dogs or your particularly attactive to them, I guarantee you that you will not be left alone. They will pester you for attention to no end.

Maybe I'm old fashioned (all of 53 and counting), but I was taught that when you visit someone it is THEIR home, NOT yours. If you don't like what you see, don't visit. If you don't like the housekeeping, the smelly cat litter, the noisy dog, the old bull like dog that won't leave you alone or whatever, it is YOUR probelm, not the hosts. I was also taught that as a host, if you don't like the annoying children or spouse, don't invite them back. After all, you can meet on neutral ground.

Yes, as a host I want to make my guests comfortable. But that does not include changing my morals or lifestyle. I have been in the position where my friend's house actually smelled horrible because she didn't change the cat litter often enough. Is it MY right to tell her that the house is smelly? Is it right for me to bring my own odor control when I visit?

If you come from the school that believes you should do anything possible to make your guests comfortable, then go for it. By the way, I like fine single malt scotches so no Cuttysark for me, thank you. But if it is your home and I come to visit, you can serve me whatever you have on hand. If you have a dog or cat or both, I'll take them all in stride no matter what they dish out.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 7:27PM
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simpleman, you put it so much better than i did.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 11:32PM
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I agree,When my sisternlaw comes to visit she doesnt like dogs so hubby puts my jack russell outside.No more......she lives there,notsisternlaw.Id rather have the dog there any day than the sisternlaw........

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 11:44PM
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Simpleman, Finally a voice of reason! I was getting really irritated reading some of the posts. I do put my animals up when strangers come over. (repairmen or an aquantiance who is just stopping by for a minute for example and not yet what you'd call a friend.) But a FRIEND over to visit and hangout with me? No way! If they don't like it, they can leave. I'd never dream of asking someone to lock their animals up for me. I've had people offer to, but I always decline and say "no, don't bother, I love dogs." Most dogs settle down after the initial excitement of company is over anyway.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 12:43AM
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Let's do a hypothetical: I'm assuming that YOU are doing the inviting, yes? Random people aren't just inserting themselves into your house and plopping themselves onto your couch? So if you're inviting people over, then it behooves you to make your guest comfortable since you are, after all, doing the inviting. If your dog is well-mannered, then there is no trouble. That is NOT the kind of dog that I think people are talking about here (or at least not the kind that the OP was posting about). If you invite someone over, and they say, "Sorry, but I don't feel comfortable coming over because your dog jumps all over me," isn't it your responsibility to do something about it? By either training the dog, or shutting them away? Assuming, of course, that you actually want your friend to come visit. If you don't want them to visit, then fine. You can live in your house with your (hypothetical) obnoxious dog, and never have any company ;)

The point is, if you want to have company, there's got to be some compromise on your side, or else no one is going to want to spend time at your house. You can stand there and say "This is MY house and this is how WE live" all you want, but that's not how some OTHER people want to live when they come to visit you. If you don't want them to visit, don't make changes. If you do want them to visit, then train the dog, or shut them away while the friend is visiting.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 1:33AM
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And I just want to add, that as a female who is only 5'1" and a little over 100 pounds, I find it very intimidating to walk into someone's house and have their dogs come rushing up and jumping all over me. YOU know your dogs are sweet and loving. I don't. And when they jump all over me, it HURTS. A lot.

When I visit someone else's house, I expect some basic things:

- I won't be jumped on or sniffed in the crotch by animals
- it won't be horrendously stinky
- it won't be filthy
- any kids will be relatively well behaved

If any of the above basic tenets aren't met, then chances are good, I won't come back. You, as the hostess, have a responsibility to ensure that my experience at your house is a pleasant one. That is why you invited me over, isn't it? To have a pleasant time with you?

All of us have to make certain concessions when we have guests over. What shocks me in this thread is the lack of common etiquette and understanding of what being a host is.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 1:55AM
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I think what we have to remember is that dog behavior can be interpreted very subjectively.

For instance, the friend I referenced that I socialize with at a restaurant, hates all dogs. She is deathly afraid. She is an avid runner, carries some kind of deterrent spray and uses it.

Some people just don't like dogs. I just find it easier to meet up with her away from my dogs. My dogs behave well, but when someone first comes in of course they are excited and want to say hello.

They don't jump, probably won't sniff the crotch, but I never say never, and they will go and lie down IF YOU DON'T KEEP PUTTING YOUR HAND DOWN. People who visit constantly make this mistake with dogs. I keep saying - if you ignore them they will go lie down, but no they keep paying attention, speaking to the dogs, petting the dogs and the like.

Just ignore them and they will lie down. They know the drill its the visitor I am having trouble training.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 7:28AM
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There is another side of the coin: I have a min-pin, she was spoiled when got her and it took some time to train her to comply with my wishes and to stay off people, some guests encourage her to come and jump on them and they say "But she is soooo cute" and when I correct her, they think I am a mean person.
It does send mixed signals to the dog and annoys me.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 11:10AM
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I don't believe my dogs are very annoying to anyone who is invited.
They DO bark when someone arrives, that is their job. If I know them, the dogs calm down and behave though they may sniff around a bit, then go their merry way.
If I don't know the person, I grab the biggest one by the collar,(she is more aggresive/louder/protective than the other two) and hold on as if this large barking dog is FEROCIOUS! BEWARE!
Works every time, most people won't get out of the car! If I feel confident that there is no real threat, I will put her inside so as not to reveal that she is just a simple dog. She is really just a loud mouth, and wouldn't hurt a flea.
When asked, does she bite? I always say she has teeth, doesn't she?

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 5:28PM
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Interesting responses. I am not a dog-hater (I don't have one and don't want one but I don't hate them). If a dog approaches me for attention I will pet him/her -- I just don't want to be jumped on, barked at, growled at, bothered when I am eating etc...

We visited a friend of my DH's recently and they had a huge sheepdog like dog that kept jumping on us -- totally unacceptable. I was afraid it would knock my 4 year old over or scratch her eyes. The wife suggested locking up the dog and the husband's response was "no, he'll just bark." He even lept up on the couch where we were sitting.

BTW, on Martha Stewart one time she suggested if a dog keeps jumping at you to bend one of your legs at a 45 degree angle -- they supposidly only like a vertical surface to jump at so this keeps them off -- worth a try!

To those of you who equate dogs with children --- my young kids might "act up" at your house but I guarantee they won't hurt you. Besides I don't put animals on the same level as children (even though I love my little kitty so much).

Here is one other story of a couple my parents knew who had no kids -- their little Shih Tzu was their "child." When I was about 12 years old we visited them after they moved to Florida. My cousin was with us as we were on vacation. Well, the dog would not stop humping my poor cousin's leg. Every chair she moved to the dog would go after her. Finally, the lady suggested that we were "getting the dog riled up" and we should probably go down to the pool to swim. My parents were so mad they never went back there.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 5:42PM
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I get that you are not a "dog" person. It is not likely that someone will invite you to their home with your children to visit a dog resembling that seen on Cujo (spelling?).

I think a lot of your apprehension regarding your daughter could have been alleviated by picking her up. I have large dogs and my niece who is 6 and tiny and lives with 2 big dogs, reacts to my big dogs when she comes into our house and the dogs are happy to see her. They will sometimes jump, but they don't jump on her, they jump around her and she gets anxious. We just pick her up and put her in a chair at the island. Two minutes go by, she is distracted, feels better, the dogs calm down. She gets down and continues on forgeting she was ever anxious when she walked in. Once you start reacting to the dogs jumping it just excites them more thus you get more jumping and that kind of happy to see you behavior. I know you don't see it that way, but that's how I see it because I know my dogs.

I think dogs can sense a a "non-dog" person in the same way a horse can sense if the rider is afraid or not in control. I have seen it. My friend has come to my home on occasion for things that are mandatory like my wedding, she was in it. I know she is definitely not a dog person so I put the dog away. No problem. But in reality, the dog would do her no harm.

I am not defending your friend's Shih Tzu, the humping thing is a no no in our house, but I do find that when someone who's not a dog person comes in they don't listen when I tell them to stop paying attention to the dogs and they will go lie down. Despite saying it, you will see the guest still talking to my dogs. Saying hi, now go lie down, etc. Not realizing that the dogs aren't going to take commands from my guests. I am the alpha. They really will stop if commanded by the person in charge and left to do so and not encouraged by the guest. I know you don't think you are encouraging but I see kids do it they started whining and that gets the dogs going. So maybe when you visit someone with a dog, just ignore the dog, it will go away. It may jump, if you just keep on walking the dog will get that you're not interested.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2006 at 6:09PM
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I think the way this thread was posted is part of the problem. It is so one-sided--if you have an ANNOYING dog (by whose standards?) LOCK IT UP. I was brought up to believe that if you were a visitor in someone's home, you respected them and their family (of which their pets are a part) and the rules of their house.

I have two small dogs, miniature rat terriers, and they are very well socialized and love everyone, and they don't understand that their affection and attention are not always wanted. They do not claw, bite, hump, or scratch, but they are persistent in wanting to be petted and acknowledged. Ignoring them won't work, they just think they haven't worked hard enough for you to notice them. They can't fathom that a human doesn't want to pet them or talk to them. When a new visitor comes, I ask them straight out if they like dogs, and if they don't like dogs or seem annoyed by Annie and Homer's enthusiasm, someone else in the family will play with the terriers or take them outside or in some other way positively engage them. If no one else is home, I ask the visitor to come outside with us so my dogs will be otherwise stimulated. I would never lock them up as it would be punishing them (in their own home!) for being the happy, loving dogs I have brought them up to be.

On the other side of the issue, my neighbor has a large, leaping dog that has knocked me over and even split my lip by jumping into my face (I'm a shortie too, so I understand where all you five footers are coming from)when I visit. I have found it best to be up front with her (my neighbor, not the dog) and call ahead and ask that she be outside to help guide Cody's wild enthusiasm in another direction. We have worked out a system whereby she leaves a tennis ball in her mailbox which I throw to Cody, and he is so thrilled to be positively engaged and actually sits and waits for my praise. Cody and I are friends, my neighbor and I are not tense with each other, and nobody gets locked up.

I think if you like someone enough to want to visit them, you should be able to diplomatically express what your concerns/issues are and try to work something out, and not expect that they should lock a member of their family away. As Simpleman said (you really made me smile!), and I paraphrase, I have met a lot of children who annoyed or were obnoxious to me, yet I would never ask their parents to put them in another room. Pets, like children, have emotions and attachments that are not put on hold for the convenience of visitors. Family is family.


    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 2:37AM
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I love the tennis ball in the mailbox. Just love seeing thes kinds of things worked out, especially when a friendship is in between. Clearer heads definitely prevailed. I think since you have pets of your own you are able to see it from the "dog's point of view". Thank you.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 7:14AM
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When a dog does that...I sometiems wish Cesar Millan would show up and show the owners the correct way of punishing a dog. The dog is doing that for attention. Small dogs are like that. i know. i have a Jack russell terrier. we looked up on them and stuff before we got one so we weren't too overwhelmed with her. she makes the greatest family pet. We are one of those families that are a bit active so she fits right in with the family. The problem with threats is that they are just that...threats. The dog isn't going to care. Spray bottles hardly work for the vast majority of dogs. It worked on my big dub black lab/border collie mix when i had her, but not enough. we ended up having to take her to the pound to my dismay.

Your friend needs to correct her dog and if it still is being an issue...there is this outdoor world that doesn't bite. I'd give the dog a special treat that it only gets when people are around and I'd toss it out there and let it have fun with the toy or bone.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 9:39AM
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Wonderful post Kate!
Also,you are right about the way this thread is titled.
Hec, I found myself annoyed at the poster before I even read what she had to say.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 3:52PM
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Guess there is hospitality and then there is dog owner hospitality. When I have guests, I put myself out to make them comfortable. I want my guest to know they are important, welcome, respected. My Aggie wonÂt bite but if she likes you she will get her wet doggy nose all over your good clothes and she will pester you to shake handsÂa little game I was stupid enough to teach her. She is sad to go to the bedroom but I will make it up to her when my friends leave. I donÂt see a conflict here. ItÂs all a matter of the respect I feel toward guests as opposed to a brief incarceration for Aggie. She's an exceptional dog, she will not be offended;~)

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 4:31PM
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OK... just thinking here. Maybe there is so much disagreement here because we all have different lifestyles. I don't exactly "entertain guests in my home" I "have friends over." They don't even need an invite and I prefer they treat my home as their own.I don't play the "host." If I were to "invite a guest over" I guess I could put my dogs/cats up, offer something to drink and get it for them instead of saying, "help yourself" :-)
The original poster said, whenever she goes to her friends house the dog is a PEST and her kids end up crying, and God forbid you try to eat something etc. To me it didn't exactly sound like she was being invited over for a nice quiet dinner or anything.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 8:53PM
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I'm with you beeane.. I don't entertain, but have friends come over. My dog wouldn't be locked up or put out unless someone had a reason to be here for a short period and was terrified of animals. My sister hates how animals "look" at her. I can't imagine where she got her dislike for animals from, but I respect her enough to not allow any of my pets to jump in her lap or bug her for attention. She respects me enough to visit despite her dislike of my pets. And she tactfully doesn't mention the pet hair on her clothes when she leaves.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 9:18PM
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LOL that dreaded pet hair! No matter how much I clean, PLEASE don't wear nice black pants to my house.They are hair magnets and you'll end up with a furry butt. It wouldn't matter if the dogs were put up or not. In fact, don't wear your "good" clothes at all. Just wear something comfortable and relax.
Lucky you to have a sister close enough to visit. I sure miss my sis. :-(

    Bookmark   October 20, 2006 at 11:24PM
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I think beeanne & moonie may be on to somethng here. I assumed (please don't remind me what that stands for!) based on the original post that this was a freindly visit with friends/family. No mention was made of other guests and since the children were allowed to carry food around the house I was guessing a pretty good friend at that (or not if they want the dog stowed away).

Let' see:
Formal party ... no question the dogs would be out of sight and sound. This would be a reception for a VIP, cocktail party, black tie affair, & so on.
Friends/family ... no question that the dogs stay. This would be highly informal, laid back and relaxed. As beeanne & moonie said, make yourself at home.
Informal get togethers .... this would be birthday parties, showers, and so on, many times with children present. This could also be a visit with someone you are meeting for the first time.

I'll grant that informal events are grey scale or more murky. I do tend to keep the dogs around, especially if there are children present. Great entertainment for the kids. But the more the event leans toward formality and/or the guests are either unknown or barely known, I would tend to put the gordons away. If it is a sit down proper affair then no dogs, but a back yard barbeque and they're present.

However, the original question was "If you have a dog and a guest asked you lock it a room (for only a short time of course) -- would you?". None of my guests have ever been either arrogant enough nor selfish enough to ever ask me that question. That question in my view would be beyond rude. My response would be "Let me help you to your car".

    Bookmark   October 21, 2006 at 9:19AM
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My response would be "Let me help you to your car".

YOU probably don't have an annoying dog.

If you had an animal that did the following:

- continually jumped on people
- continually slobbered on people
- kept sniffing at crotches

I.e. was being annoying and not being a normal animal and going and lying down (or at least chilling out) after the normal "meet and greet" that most dogs do, would it really be arrogant and selfish of a guest to ask you to put them away? Most people, even non-dog people are willing to put up with normal dog behavior. It's the abnormal, annoying dog behavior that the OP was trying to address here -- the rest of you are getting up in arms about something else.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2006 at 11:37AM
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Tammy Kennedy

may i just point out that the sort of people who let their dogs or children run rampant are also the ones who would tend to react badly to being asked or expected to put them up? just as the worst drivers are likely to be the ones who'd go nuts if you pointed it out to them, so we let them get away with it. don't have dogs and don't particularly care for them though i don't hate them, but have lots of freinds who do, and for the most part they are fine with me and i with them. i have been very annoyed, though when a dog won't let me be or stop being annoying, just as i would if it were kids. if i have an experience like that, i don't repeat it if at all possible. my kids are well behaved or they go into a timeout situation- even at freind's houses. how is that different from our expectation for dogs, or should it be?

and, for that matter, when we had cats, if someone didn't like them or was allergic we put them up. as bird owners now, we did the same. we do intros, and then if the folks aren't comfortable, they go their cages & stay- being covered if necessary to quiet them. i feel if i have people over, even if they are close to me, i have an obligation to make them feel reasonably comfortable unless they themselves are being completely unreasonable. it's all subjective, yes, but what happened to good manners? most things really are shades of grey, and compromise is a wonderful social asset, in all aspects of life.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2006 at 2:49PM
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First- The title of the thread is enough to get some dog owners riled. If you have an annoying dog--lock it up when I come over. My first response was "hmmmph, don't like it, don't come over." It didn't sound like she was receiving written invitations.
This dog is a maltese.She never mentioned any slobbering or crotch sniffing. Also her kids are walking around carrying snacks. Why can't they sit up at the table or something? Who's annoying who here? Sounds like the kids might be annoying the dog. She didn't mention if her friend had kids or not but my guess is not. Maybe her friend wishes she'd leave the kids with a sitter when she "comes over" so the dog wouldn't act up.If they truly are good friends they'll work it out. If not, then I say find another friend who does not have an annoying dog.
Also,I can't believe a grown up can't handle a maltese while she's sitting on the sofa. Shoot, just keep putting him down or hold him long enough, to the point he wants to get down. It sounds like this little dog runs the house and after 8 years, I doubt that will change.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2006 at 3:00PM
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I put my dogs up when someone comes to our home,that is not familiar with our dogs, or isn't a dog lover. I did have trouble with my Doxie licking friend's legs. Got some bitter apple and used that and problem was resolved. Come to find out friends were using a lotion that apparently Coal, my doxie, liked.
We do have a sign at the beginning of our road (property) that says something like this.

That kinda tells it all. So all my friends are dog lovers and will bring them over to my house as they know they are welcome. So far so good. No cats allowed though.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2006 at 11:08PM
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Would you like your scotch straight up or on the rocks, you're welcome at our house ANYTIME!

    Bookmark   October 23, 2006 at 4:07PM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana


I have a friend I go and visit and her dog sound just like the one you describe. My friend has maybe never had a dog since childhood, and she is 76 now.

When the dog barks so badly we cannot visit, I roll up a newspaper, and very firmly tell it to hush. She is amozed when the dog quiets down, yet when she says it, it's not loud or firm enough and the dog ignores her.

I have found that if I sit on a straight back chair or in a wood rocker, that the dog will not mall me, like it does if I sit on the sofa.

Sad, but the dog will never acquire social graces, but my main purpose is to try and have a nice visit in spite of the ill mannered dog. I realize it is really not his fault that he has not been trained properly.


    Bookmark   October 27, 2006 at 3:57AM
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If you knock on my door, my dogs will bark like crazy, too. They are trained to do so. I live alone and they are part of my security system. I peer out, and if it is someone I know well, or if it's family or close friends, I use my code word and the dogs quieten immediately. Then, if I invite you in, the dogs go to their "places" after gently greeting you. They are trained not to jump on people.

I don't really think of myself as anti-social, but people who decide to drop by, unexpectedly and/or uninvited, must not expect me to ban my dogs to another part of the house.

On the other hand, if I have invited someone over, and I know they have an allergy to dogs, or a fear of dogs because of some past trauma, I will put my dogs out in the fenced backyard before my guest arrives, weather permitting, for the duration of the visit, with some kongs I have stuffed with treats for their enjoyment. If it is raining, too hot, too cold, then I will put them in my bedroom wing with their kongs.

Love me, love my dogs.

    Bookmark   October 28, 2006 at 10:45PM
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Love me, love my dogs.

Problem solved.

Good catch Jerry.

    Bookmark   October 29, 2006 at 12:49AM
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    Bookmark   October 29, 2006 at 1:47AM
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Seems to me that if people who allowed dogs to be annoying in ther first place were not allowed to have dogs---there would be no problem.

Dogs do require training and rules. It sometimes takes time for those two things to happen. I have two dogs, one a Lab/pit mix who is 1&1/2. The other is a Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix who is now about 2&1/2. Louie the Lip and Max, respectfully. Max was adopted from some friends---who did not establish correct behavioral rules. He was what trainers call a Red Zone dog----completely out of control immediately when excited. He is also an Alpha dog. I have had him about a year. He is now quite reserved when strangers or friends visit. He smells them and goes and lays down unless directed to stay. That is his training.

Louie is a bit more difficult. He has an attention problem. When he focuses on something---another dog, a cat, squirrel, bird, fly----whatever---he is totally focused on that thing. He is also a fearful dog. No telling who is going to scare him. My youngest son terrifies him. Some friends do. His other problem is affection----when he is happy to see someone----he is a bulldozer. The attention thing. Very difficult to redirect his attention. I've had him longer---got him at six weeks of age. But, trianing is tougher. He is making progress----and my other DIL---who was initially terrified of him is acknowledging the change.

There is no reason to subject a person to an unruly dog, other than training. And that is something many people do too little of. You come to my house, you will meet my dogs. It will not be unsupervised and it will not be a problem. I nam a responsible dog owner.

    Bookmark   October 29, 2006 at 9:01PM
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On the rocks will do!

    Bookmark   October 30, 2006 at 7:06AM
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Peatpod that dog is a killer. He should be locked up. HA! HA! So precious. Looks like mine and the kittens.

I won't visit someone who has an unruly dog that I have to deal with.

When people visit my house my dogs are made to behave or else they go to their room. Unless someone is coming over to spefically look at my dogs I don't think they should have to endure bad behavior from them.

    Bookmark   October 30, 2006 at 9:59PM
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rivkadr, I'm with you.

I too, am a bit surprised by some of these responses. "Love me, love my dog" - well that has its limits.

Surely this is all a case of good manners. If you invite someone over, I think it's reasonable of them to expect a little of their own space, and your animals or kids are going to respect it. If I'm visiting someone else, I certainly expect my kids or dog to be well-behaved, but I apply that to being the host too.

My Labradoodle Lucy is going on a year old. Because she hates going in the car so much, and she's had severe gastric problems since her spaying, we haven't taken her to obedience classes, but have worked with her ourselves. She is a gorgeous, good-natured dog but sometimes doesn't know her own size (60 pounds) but is generally very gentle. If she's around very small kids I watch her very closely and if things were out of hand, I'd have no problems putting her outside if I had guests.....I wouldn't expect any guest to tolerate any sort of bad behaviour from her. Fortunately it's not really an issue because she is well-behaved but if she was to snatch food from a guest or anything like that, she'd be in trouble. She is a real people/pack animal and knows her place well, but isn't too shy. Most if not all of our visitors fall in love with her but I'd never expect anyone to go beyond their own comfort zone with her - we're the boss, not she, so she has to toe the line.

My previous dog was a poodle-terrier cross and I loved him dearly but he was unpredictable, and could be scary. He even nipped the mailman once, I was horrified, but no injury fortunately. I would always put him out if strangers came over, but I hated not knowing how he'd react but I never took chances...so I feel lucky that my Lucy is such a sweet-natured dog.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2006 at 11:58AM
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As a dog trainer I hate when people assume that small dogs are supposed to act that way!! They only act that way because people have taught them it gets them what they want! These dogs are clearly the alphas in the house not the owners!! For about $20 you can buy an electric dog trainer, it emits a high pitch sound that people can't hear but most dogs hate! You could keep it in your pocket and push the button as soon as you approach the house and repeat as needed! These are also great when walking in areas that have a high rate of stray dogs, they just naturally want to go away from the sound.
There are of course better ways to train a dog not to do this in the first place but since it's not your dog maybe this would help. I would tell your friend to buy a crate for the little yappers and lock them in it when they get out of hand. I bet IF she walks the dogs they walk on harnesses/extended leads, wrong, wrong, wrong.
PS Cesar Milan RULES! Buy her his book for Christmas called Cesar's Way. EVERY dog owner should read it.

    Bookmark   November 6, 2006 at 10:32PM
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rivkadr and pjb999, I find it hard not to agree with you. We used to visit a friend who's dog spent the entire visit trying to jump on us or sniff our crotches. It got really tiresome. To avoid this unpleasantness, we would meet at restaurants until our friend met a nice girl and SHE helped teach the dog some much needed manners.

When we got our last dog, I picked up a book that described a method of training a dog that didn't involve crating him. It called for putting eye hooks into the base of the wall in several different rooms. You would attach a leash to each one and if the dog was misbehaving, you would pull the dog over to the leash and attach it to his collar. This way the dog was allowed to remain in the room with people enjoying company, yet unable to annoy anyone or get into trouble. This probably wouldn't work with a compulsive barker, but it did work to teach the dog that if he couldn't behave, he would be restrained. Better than yelling at him or banishing him to a solitary place.

    Bookmark   November 7, 2006 at 12:58AM
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heh, op, my dog and cat are more important than you. you aren't invited. moot point.

    Bookmark   November 10, 2006 at 9:30PM
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Perhaps the OP's friend with the annoying dog is trying to tell the visitor something. Perhaps she doesn't like the kids smearing their snacks around, etc. Perhaps she is trying to discourage this visitor dropping by. Seems to me the visitor and kids may be as "annoying" as the dog!!!

    Bookmark   November 10, 2006 at 11:10PM
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