And those of you with grown kids that have pets... are those pets like your grandchildren? Are you as eager to help as you would be the grandkids?
It would depend on the circumstances for which they cannot afford the bills. If its because all their money is being wasted on a coc'e habit then no. If its because they were pink slipped and hit with a buncha expenses all at once, sure of course.
Am on a limited income but would help if i could of course.
My DD lives next to me and her 2 dogs and 2 cats are just like my grandkids to me. I buy them toys and goodies. babysit,play with them. love them dearly. DD does the same to mine. So what would they be to DD? Her brother and sister? LOL
Would definitely help. Would definitely not ask for help.
I have a friend whose dog I am footing the bills for now. She had a major stroke a little over a year ago and can no longer work. All she has to live on is a small pension that barely covers her monthly expenses. I buy all the food, hw preventative, vet care, everything for the dog who is 10 years old.
Good for you, Lisa! That's a true friend.
Since I have the least money of anyone in my family, I don't think anyone would ever turn to me for help. Altho' I was prepared to take in a family member's pet at one point. (We all live in different cities.)
My parents have offered to cover expenses when my pets have needed something big. And if it came down to it, I don't doubt my sisters would help out if I asked. No one sees the animals with grandkids or nieces/nephews, but I believe they would want to do what they could for something I love some much -- just as I would for them and their animals. I've never had to take anyone up on it, and I'd be relucant to ask, but if I believed it was essential -- I would.
(That said, we do all give Xmas presents to each others animals, so we've got the sentimental side, too!)
Once I'm done school, I'll be providing the family vet care!
It all depends on WHY my family member can't afford the vet bills. The question wouldn't be whether or not I'd help out. The question would be who would OWN the pet after it comes back from the vet. If my family member squandered their money and as a result couldn't afford to keep it taken care of, I wouldn't put the pet thru hell because its owner's an idiot. But once I pay the bills, the pet's coming home with me.
The reason for the question...
My son is 23 with 2 kids. He works full time plus a part time job. He has 2 dogs which he can't afford. They barely are able to pay their bills, thus the part time on top of full time job. It just irks me, especially when he got the second dog after we had already discussed the fact he couldn't really afford the first one. Then he winds up with an emergency vet bill and calls me for the money. Grrrrr....
You guys make me feel terribly stingy. I never get PO'd if he asks me for something concerning the kids. It's not really that I had to give him the money for the emergency, it's the fact he can't -afford- the dogs. He doesn't squander his money, he's just young and hasn't yet met his financial goals.
If he knows he can't cover all his emergencies and still got a second dog -- then asked you for help -- I'd say you have a right to be irked.
bill vincent may have a good point -- who does the dog belong to once you've paid its bil? If you decided to lend him the money, you might make it contingent on them finding another home for the dog.
Yes, it was irresponsible of him to get a second dog (or even a first one) when he is struggling financially, but frankly, considering how expensive kids are, it probably wasn't a good idea to have 2 of those either. :o)
moonie, don't feel stingy; you are quite justified in feeling the way you do.
I also provide financial assistance to my son and it would really rub me the wrong way if he got a dog. Heck, they got a hamster for their son and I thought that was unnecessary. Hamsters don't require expensive care at least. Dogs and cats are a different story.
Money and family dredge up weird feelings; I am dealing with this dynamic now. For me it's a question of common sense and responsibility; although pets are wonderful, if you can't afford them, you shouldn't have them.
I would agree with the WHY part of this issue. I would look at/know the entire situation before making a decision.
Then again, I have a favorite word I really like. It's "NO". I've said it numerous times without any remorse at all.
I would have to agree with Petra, I count 4 family members (2 furry, 2 not) that it was irresponsible to bring into the household. So, no I don't think you're being stingy at all.
Why not offer find a good home for the dogs that can take care of them financially. On the condition that he brings no more in. That way you will relieve the financial burden (which is what he asked for)and the dogs will be in a much better place.
On the other hand: He's 23, he decided he wanted all these responsibilities he's old enough to take care of them himself.
let the flames begin ;~).
I dont have grown kids yet,but when I do,if I COULD help I certainly would.If not by ways of money,then definitely by baby-sitting :)
The second dog has been rehomed since last week. I'm actually not sure how I feel about it, now that it's actually gone. Sheesh!
jerriellijay - I don't know why you think you'd be flamed.
Definitely a sticky sitution. Sounds like your describing my 37 year old brother too....sometimes they never grow up...
Off topic but I need to vent,
I was in Wal Mart yesterday and recognized a woman behind me in line. We chatted briefly and I couldn't help noticing her cart was filled with Valentines day stuff. Not a problem, but she lost her house a year ago and has had tremedous finacial troubles. I felt embarrassed seeing all that crap in her cart, like I was getting a glimpe of why she lost her house.
Moonie, I'm so glad to hear there is one less dependant in the house. About the "flame" comment, sometimes people don't like it when kids and pets are compared. The comment was not meant for you ;0)
OOps,sorry I didnt see your second reply as to why you asked this question.
I guess the real question is,does your son ever pay you back?
I can see why you'd think it was annoying. I have someone who does something similar my husband and I...except it's with cats. He gets these cats,and cant afford to pay for them. My husband and I have helped this person out several times.Once paying for emergency vet care (the kitten had a upper respitory infection and worms and a fever) Once paying for the cat to be fixed.
He has paid us back once at like,10 dollars a week...which to me,isnt that great since it really took a chunk out of our bank account.
Does your son realize how expensive animals are? I find that many people who do this (buy animals they cant really afford) do it to make themselves happier,but dont tend to think long term about the costs.
Best of luck to you.
jerriellijay - ahh! Well, obviously I'm not one of those people that have a problem with comparing pets and kids. :)
bumblebeez - I know exactly what you mean by being embarrassed by witnessing her extravagance when she probably should be more frugal at this point.
coolmama - I don't "lend" my son money. If he has a legitimate need and finds it within himself to ask, I help if I can. But I do expect, and receive, help with things like household repairs, etc. I'm not going to pay someone else to come fix something that my son can do. So, it's not all give.
I would probably help him just this once with the prerequisite "I told you so" making it clear no more, don't ask again, that's it, end of story.
Geez...he sounds like my nephew. Not a pot to piss in, but he paid hundreds of dollars and drove cross country to pick up some sort of pure bred canine because his gf wanted one. Long story short...his gf dumped him for another guy and his folks are now stuck with the dog. I don't blame you for being irked, moonie.
I call my cricket a rescued dog and she was....from my grandson. She was living in deplorable conditions. I did'nt ask. I picked her up and brought her back to AR with me.Would do it again in a heartbeat. My GS knew he was doing wrong. She's my baby now.
Vickie, you're my hero!