cylinceDecember 11, 2008

Those of you that know me,know my background. I left my abusive husband about 4 months ago,I'm in Transitional Housing. He had our 3 & 4 year olds living with him,I had our 1 year old. My oldest,11,is in foster care. Well,the other 3 ended up in foster care as well-long story. Anyway, my 4 year old has seen alot of abuse,many forms of it. My husband has also been very touchy-feeling on me in front of him. He has explicit pictures on the wall also. Recently,my 4 year old grabbed his foster mom inapropiatly & blames me for it. He said "mommy likes when I do this to her" and he also says that I kissed him 'down there' and he touches me& I like it. This is BY FAR NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!! I'm willing to testify on the stand & also take a lie detector test, but I would also like 2 find out EXACTLY what has happened 2 my son 2 make him say these things & act this way! Could he have gotten this just from the way he was brought up around so many bad things? Someone PLEASE help!!!

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Other Forum members, if you do a search on Cyline's screen name, you'll see the full background on this long sad story. And perhaps then my post might make more sense and seem a bit less cruel.

Cylince - You've been wailing and flailing helplessly for at least two full years and making only the smallest of changes too little too late, then backsliding back to where you were. Just how bad are you going to let things get before YOU do something dramatically different? You've been abused yourself for years and you've allowed your children to be abused for their entire lives. That's why they're all in foster care now, and frankly, I think that's a good thing.

Take this time when you have only yourself to be responsible for and learn to be responsible for yourself. Get your GED. Get a job. Two jobs. Get an apartment and a reliable used car. Get a divorce. Then start saving money. Learn to run a household. Go to the library and read books on parenting, on budgeting, on abusive relationships. Learn to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself. Learn to be independent. Don't spend so much time worrying about today that you can't plan for next week, next month, next year and ten years from now. Fix your own life. Write off the past and work on the future. Build yourself a life that nobody else can take away from you.

As far as the current mess with your 4 year old, Who Knows what that child may have seen? All you can say is that you did not abuse him sexually, but that he saw far too much sexual activity from his father's dirty pictures to his manhandling of you, and that you did too little to prevent it. No excuses. The child is already in foster care.

Then tell them you are working on fixing your own life and back it up with proof.

    Bookmark   December 12, 2008 at 6:02PM
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agree, why take on more then what you already have dealt with?

I think the kids should be adopted out to new homes/without you losing contact and once you get your life in order, adopt perhaps someone from a sad case like yourself, its more proper then adding to the mass over populations of humans and giving more innocents crappy lives.

Sorry about all this, I had a pca growing up that was simalar to your husband- not as bad but simaliar.

    Bookmark   January 3, 2009 at 8:36PM
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