How much of my time does my toddler need?

adamsmommyDecember 2, 2009

I have been a stay ay home mom since my son was born. He is now 18 months old and I will be going back to work in a couple of weeks. He is used to getting A LOT of my attention, probably too much, he gets EXTREMELY whiney when he doesn't have my undivided attention. I think this will be good for both my son and I to be away from each other a little bit, but I am concerned that now that I will be away from him for 9-10 hours a day he won't get enough of my attention. He will be cared for partly by his father and partly in daycare. I worry that he will not have the focused attention from them that he now gets from me. I realize moms face this dilema all the time, it just seems so much more dramatic now that it is me! How much time is too much to expect an 18 month old to entertain himself?

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popi_gw

Children behave differently according to who is taking care of them. He will adapt to different carers, and won't be thinking "why am I not getting the focused attention that I usually get from mum".

So really it is YOU that will be concerned about whether he is looked after in the same way that you look after him. In reality this won't happen, will it ? But this does not mean that he will be neglected, it will just be different for him.

In my opinion most 18 MO would want to be involved in what you are doing, most of the time.

Good luck with returning to work.

    Bookmark   December 3, 2009 at 10:39PM
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adamsmommy

Well you are correct, I AM concerned about him not being looked after the way I do it. My concern is that he will just be left to play with toys or occupy himself and not be stimulated with reading or other interactive activities as I would do. I worry about his development. I am sure I am drastically over-reacting. I just feel at this age he really needs that close interaction rather than just being "watched" as he entertains himself. And yes, he most definitely wants to be doing whatever I am doing. As you can imagine, this means everything takes about 4 times as long to accomplish. However to me, it is worth it to see the pride and joy on his adorable little face. I fear others may not see it the same way.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2009 at 8:28PM
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oilpainter

If you are putting him in an acredited day care he will be stimulated, because they have activities for their charges. Some things my grandsons do at daycare are painting, crafts, story time, and interaction by play with other kids as well as outside play. These activities are always supervised and the daycare workers spend time interacting with the kids too. My grandsons and my friends grandchildren love daycare.

If you are asking will one person will dance attendance on your child that won't happen, but he will get stimulated play and sometimes be left to play with other kids.

However just getting someone to watch your child is a crap shoot. Some will do things with the child and others will plunk them in front of the TV.

If you do your homework though, Daycare can be a positive experience

    Bookmark   December 9, 2009 at 1:08AM
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colleenoz

While I agree that babies need stimulation, they also need to learn to entertain themselves. It's all part of learning to be a well-rounded personality.

    Bookmark   December 9, 2009 at 12:44PM
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