first day at school

tracystokeSeptember 7, 2009

It was my three year old daughters first day at school today ,she screamed histerically,wouldnt put her uniform on,when i finally got her dressed she took every item of clothing off,it was so distressing for both me and her.I finally got her to go by saying if you dont like it we will come home,which was a lie and wished i hadnt said it now because of course she had to stay there and i was made to leave, she cried the whole time and i am absolitly dreading tommorrow because she now knows we wont be coming home if she doesnt like it,as anyone got any ideas how i can take her to school without all this upset,its just awfull

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sheilajoyce_gw

While it is not unusual for a child to dislike the first day of school and separation from the parent, you should also consider that perhaps she is not ready for school yet. She is only 3. If this is a preschool situation, perhaps you could put it off for a semester.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2009 at 2:32AM
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tracystoke

Thanks for your reply,where i live children have to go to school the september after their 3rd birthday,she is definatly ready for school,just a very clingy child,the teachers have been doing home visits with me so that my daughter sees them as friends and not just teachers,and strangers,it doesnt seem to be making much difference yet but they are being very helpfull ,

    Bookmark   September 11, 2009 at 3:39AM
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sweeby

Hopefully, it will resolve itself soon, but in case it helps, here's what worked for me when DS was three.

I would go and sit in the classroom. Just SIT. Not play with him or try to get him involved. Just SIT. I wouldn't carry on a conversation with him beyond 'yes' or 'no' answers, give only the quickest little cuddles -- then be BORING. I'd occasionally point out a toy or activity that I thought my son would like, but I made NO effort to go get it or get him involved in it. My goal was for my SON to get up and leave me because doing something else looked so much more fun than just sitting there with Mom. (I had told him in advance that I could stay for a little while, but not all day, so he knew I would leave and come back for him later.)

Anyway, it took about 10 minutes for DS to get up and go get a toy and bring it back to me so I would play with him -- but I told him I had to go to work and couldn't play with him -- maybe someone else could? (No dice - smart kid!.) After about another 10 minutes, he finally got it and got up to play with some of the other kids. I sat there for a few more minutes to be sure he was truly involved, then gave him a quick wave on my way out the door.

That was all it took!

    Bookmark   September 12, 2009 at 3:12PM
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tracystoke

Thanks sweeby,the school has stopped the parents from sitting in the classroom with the children ,they feel it prolongs the process,they encourage us to hand over the children then leave,even if they are screaming,they reckon about two weeks and they settle down,and im praying this is the case,as she is still so upset by it all,but thanks anyway

    Bookmark   September 14, 2009 at 8:15AM
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oilpainter

My son was the clingy type too mainly because he was seldom left with someone else. There was no junior kindergarten. I put him in nursery school and I did like sweeby did with a twist. I talked it up for a while beforehand. Then the first day I came back after an hour and gradually lengthened the time away until I felt he was able to go it alone.

Your daughter is feeling insecure. She's in a new setting with people she doesn't know, and you are just leaving her there--she's not even sure you will come back for her. She will feel better when she makes new friends. Is there an outgoing child in her class that lives nearby. Maybe you could have her over one day on the weekend and let your daughter make friends.

Maybe you could get your daughter early for a few days or prepare a favorite activity to do when she comes home and talk it up. Tell her how big she's getting and how proud you are that she can go off to school. Talk about the things she is going to learn and the friends she will make.

    Bookmark   September 17, 2009 at 11:25AM
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tracystoke

It isnt like she has been flung into school,i supposed it sounded it like she had,she was already familliar with the school,my eldest used to go there and she went for an hour for one day a week for 4 weeks and decided she hated it,when i said first day i meant proper first day ,uniform and things,even now its still only half a day and i do get to take her a little later and pick her up a little earlier,the teachers have been brilliant and although my daughter still crys when i leave her,shes stooped fighting to go and is enjoying it a little so i think everything will soon be ok and thankfully i hope i was worrying myself sick for nothing,

    Bookmark   September 17, 2009 at 4:07PM
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