14 month old throwing huge tantrums
So, I am not a parent, but a sitter. However, I have been around since this little rugrat was concieved and his mother is my cousin. We are both at a loss with what to do with him.
He throws real live hardcore tantrums. Over everything. If his hitting the other little one (or the cats/dogs) with a toy and take it away he will promptly throw himself face first on the floor and scream and kick and hollar, and throw things and if he decideds to throw a fit when you're holding him he will hit, and kick and punch and occasionally bite.
He's been doing this since he was about 11 months old. I generally try to just walk away but occasionally he's not in a spot where he's safe to throw his fit, like if he's around the fire place, or coffee table. I worry that he's going to injure himself. He also holds his breath when he's upset, he has since day one. He will go right blue and purple and often you have to jiggle him or blow in his nose to get him to take a breath.
I know ignoring it is supposed to work, but with him it just makes it worse sometimes, or he gets too upset to just leave be. I'll never give him back what I've taken away, or allow the behaviour that got him in trouble in the first place, but I will pick him up if I feel he is in danger or just way too upset.
Also lately he's been pitching forward onto the top of his head and then trying to get his feet off the floor, when he's upset. He puts all the weight on his neck and it scares me that he's going to get really hurt.
But how do you stop these tantrums?? I've watched a lot of children his age, and these are extreme in my experience. And it doesn't take much to set one off.
He understands no, and no hitting, and things like that. On a good day he will comply with the rules and stop hitting if he's told no, or whatever. But most days he'll keep the behaviour up until something gets taken away or he gets removed from the situation and then watch out.
He also does things like following the cat around grabbing her tail and laughing hysterically as she cries and attempts to get away. He hits the dogs all the time. No is still funny, yelling just gets a blank stare, the best thing I've found is to remove him from whatever he is doing and hold him in my lap until he cries and then calms down. Kind of a mini-baby time out.
He's a great, great eater. When he's being good, he's REALLY good. He plays well with me, by himself, with other kids. He's very smart and vocal, rarely asks to be picked up, infact he'd rather not be picked up and he naps well. He's either on one extreme or the other, though.
From my sitting experience, he's exhibiting behaviour most kids don't start until 2+ and therefore doesn't understand any punishment or consequences that come with it like most kids would, when they start this behaviour.
So I'm asking for advice not only for myself, but for his mother - And also in concern for his saftey, and our sanity!