Inappropriate elimination! I feel like I am at work!

muskokamommyJuly 29, 2002

I have read alot of posts about trouble potty training, but does any one have a preschooler that goes pee in inappropriate places just to be silly sometimes. I was downstairs with my daughter watching t.v, I caught her peeing and pooping in the kitty litter box. She is 4 years old!! I dealt with it accordingly, but yesterday caught her peeing on a blanket that was on the floor to be laundered. I timed her out once again. She will also be playing outside and has been known on occasion to pee in the great outdoors. I have let her know that all of these things are not acceptable. I have told her that if she decides to go pee outside, then the fun is over and she must come in and play in her room. I have praised her when using the bathroom like a big girl. I am thinking of making a chart where she gets a sticker for different things, one of which is a accident free day. I know that these are not accidents and I am sure it is a way of getting attention. I should mention that she only does this at home. If you have read my previous post you will know what a strong-willed little girl she can be. I sometimes think she does it because "I can therefore, I will!!" Once when she was in a Timeout she stood there and wet her underpants.

My girlfriend,the one with the easy child!, is appalled. If her daughter ever did this once, a simple no, and it would never happen again. I wish. Her daughter was toilet trained, both day and night within a week. Her DD is also 4 and is just starting to ride a trike and doesn't know how to do a somersault. O.K. sorry, I just had to get that out!!! It is really hard sometimes hearing how perfect someone elses child is. She now has a 2 year old and 4 month old twins. My daughter on the other hand moves at a higher speed. She isn't a daredevil, but she has been busy enough to experience lots of things in her short little life. When my DS was 14mth, her 2 year old bit him hard enough on the back to leave bloody teeth prints. When she asked me what had happened I told her. Her reply was he doesn't usually bite for no reason. And she didn't do anything. Of course I didn't suggest how she should discipline her child, but she finds no problem telling me what I am doing wrong. I am hoping with the things I am doing that this too shall pass, and I know something else shall take it's place. I have really enjoyed your suggestions on my previous post, so let me have it, I need all the help I can get. Thanks also for letting me vent. There is alot more where that came from, but I will save it for another time. Sharon

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trekaren

Does your DD have male playmates? Maybe she's picked it up from them. (all it takes is seeing something one time). The drop-the-pants-and-pee thing is something I have heard a lot of parents of sons dealing with. Maybe some of their strategies will help. I'd have suggestions if she were in the two-s or early three-s, but it is a little surprising for a four-year-old.

You should also call your pediatrician's office and discuss it with the nurse.

I have found that when I sometimes feel like the only parent ever to have to deal with something, I find that what I think is rare, is actually something not unheard-of.

My best wishes that this all turns out well in no time!

    Bookmark   July 29, 2002 at 4:27PM
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muskokamommy

She does definitely have male playmates and has seen them do this on more than one occassion. At the soccor field we have no choice, boys and girls run for the bushes. Our friends live on the lake and have a spot to pee by a tree, because it is so far to walk up to the bathroom. Although for #2 they usually make the effort, but like I said she does exceptionally well at other peoples homes. I think she may have at my girlfriends home when she was being silly. At that time it would be something I would be more likely to laugh off, but my girlfriend says its no laughing matter.

    Bookmark   July 29, 2002 at 4:36PM
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adellabedella_usa

No advice, but I don't think you are alone. I have four brothers. My sister would sometimes try to pee like them when she was little. She tried the outdoor thing and the indoor thing. She stopped after the rest of us made fun of her for being silly.

    Bookmark   July 29, 2002 at 4:42PM
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nadastimer

I think that maybe it's because she's such a busy kid. She probably is so busy playing and doing whatever that she doesn't want to take the time to go the bathroom and go, so she goes wherever it's more convenient. Also there is the issue of her seeing others going in different places and being allowed to on certain occasions. Maybe you need to explain in the best way possible that it's not always okay to do that. I know we have the problem with DS. He's learning that he can go in our yard if were outside but we have to stop him from doing it elsewhere. The best thing we could do was tell him to tell us he has to go before he does. That way we get him to the correct place and aren't in an embarrassing situation.

I know what you're saying about people comparing kids. Your friend needs to realize that not all kids are the same. Many children don't focus on the same areas at the same time. While yours has maybe been more active, her daughter may have been more into verbal and social skills. It's normal for kids to be like this. So what if her daughter learned to go in the potty in a week and it's taking yours months? That's normal. Maybe it's time you did speak up once in awhile. Maybe say that she's your daughter and your decision or something?

People walk all over you and overstep boundaries only because you yourself let them. It's hard to get to understand that because the good old Golden Rule taught us to treat others the way we wanted to be treated. These days it seems to not apply anymore. I'm sure it's becoming more stressful than fun when you go around your friend and maybe a talk would help that. If she can't respect you, then maybe she's not a good friend after all. I'm slowly learning this myself and it's making me feel better and life easier. Good luck.

~Leslie~

    Bookmark   August 10, 2002 at 2:06PM
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trekaren

Leslie,
Ahh, brings back memories of the first potty training days. My DD did the same thing -- would hate to leave to go potty - so afraid she'd miss out on something! And then she'd make it halfway there and have an accident! Sigh, I had almost blocked those memories out! LOL

    Bookmark   August 12, 2002 at 7:29AM
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