Dr. Sears Site

babysmaidJuly 27, 2006

I've used the Sears' books with my children, and they have some really sound advice.

To back up, I have a 26 year old son, and used the Dr. Spock book. I remember feeling uncomfortable with some of Spock's advice, and now in hindsight regret using his techniques.

I currently have a 5 year old son, and 3 year old daughter, and feel the Sears' are more in touch with the natural needs of small children. They don't administer fad advice, they look through children's eyes, and believe if children are educated/nurtured according to developmental ability they will become secure, and happy children/adults. I agree. While it would be difficult to follow some of their bonding advice while working full time, a person can make adjustments accordingly.

Having children is the hardest job any of us will ever have, and the most important. Might as well look at all available parenting options!

I hope you find the link useful:


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I had sincere intentions posting the Dr. Sears link, and the response is "spam!?" YIKES! Sad isnt it?! In this day and age we assume the worst of people. Too bad really.
After raising a child, and clinging to any advice that would come my way IÂve discovered what works, and what doesnÂt. The Sears try to teach parents to parent from their hearts, not from desperation.

For example:

It is unfortunately becoming popular again to let your baby "cry it out" in order to go to sleep. I first read that tidbit in the Dr, Spock book with my first child, and was determined to "train" him to go to sleep. I remember feeling sick when my baby was screaming in the other room, but stuck it out, after all, thatÂs what the book said to do. It felt unnatural to do that, and now I realize I shouldÂve listened to my heart, and motherly instincts instead of some fad book. I have deep regrets to this day. Crying is natureÂs way of communicating with you that your baby/child needs you. It does not mean the child is trying to defiantly manipulate you. Separation is a developmental milestone, and if a child is nurtured through the anxiety phase they will naturally become independent much quicker than the child who is left alone to cry it out. A child who is nurtured through their scariest moments will know they are loved, and become more secure within themselves, and as a result move from one developmental milestone to another without pause. A child who is emotionally abandoned will eventually go to sleep; they give up, and are fatigued from the stress. The child who is held, or sleeps next to you goes to sleep much faster, feels safer, and loved. I opt for the latter. My kids at five and three rarely get up at night, and are VERY independent. If they do need to be with us, after they go to sleep we move them into their own bed, and thatÂs the end of it.

As I said, IÂve raised one child, and am fortunate enough to have a second family. I am older and wiser this time and wanted to share. The Sears book was very helpful to me, and their advice felt right, and is working by the way. The message they try to send is for us to trust ourselves, and try to see your babyÂs/childÂs point of view, rather than administer a prescribed solution so that you can get some sleep faster. The goal of parenting shouldnÂt be how to short cut our jobs at our childÂs expense, but rather how to recognize what your child NEEDS in order to thrive. It might mean a little less sleep temporarily, but the long-term pay-off is worth it.

Again, I take the time to write this because I know how difficult is to be a parent, and to keep perspective, especially when youÂre sleep deprived etc. I have an unusual advantage since my oldest is 26, and my goal here was to share what I have learned over the years. And to post a link that was helpful to me. Think what you willÂÂÂ

I'm reposting the Sears' link. They cover many topics, from sleep issues, potty training, discipline etc. I pull from it what I can use, or find helpful. It can be a very useful tool.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2006 at 2:49PM
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Sorry...I think the previous poster was right....I raised 2 kids with Spock and he did NOT advocate crying it out....
My oldest is 45 and I am also more than willing to share what I have learned....and it doesn't include beating the drum for a web site.
Linda C

    Bookmark   August 7, 2006 at 7:18PM
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I love Dr. Sears, I think his website is a great resourse for parents as well as his books. It's a different way of parenting and for some parents it might be the support they need to parent thier own way.
I felt lost when I first had kids, I didn't like the way everyone else did things. I read Dr. Spock and it didn't help me. I found Dr. Sears and things felt better, it assured me that I was not alone in the way I felt about parenting.
Someone with a 45 year old child is not going to understand how usefull or harmfull the internet can be to new parents. Things have changed so much even since my 11 year old was little. This is a great website!!!!

    Bookmark   August 8, 2006 at 11:39AM
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To the nay Sayers:

The link is FREE! You don't have to reveal anything about yourselves, or pay anything. If you click on "Main Topics" you will find a wealth of FREE information, but then you already knew that. Right? I doubt it. You probably took one look at the face page and assumed the worst. I posted the link to be helpful. I am not trying to sell books. I am a stay at home mom with good intentions. Believe it, or not.


Regarding Dr. Spock, I remember pretty clearly Spock's advice, "check your baby and if he/she is fed, and dry, let baby cry." Spock was revolutionary in his day because he did try to break the old Victorian barrier of child rearing, I'll give him that. I also got a lot of advice from my parents, and others, probably from your generation (I'm 46) that said "let the baby cry, it's good for their lungs," or "that's what babies do," or "if you pick them up you'll spoil them." Again, that's why Spock was considered to be so progressive for his time, he did try to change the way people parented. The Sears' take it one step further, and offer sound advice for new parents. They've had a few additional years of research, and personal experience to share.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2006 at 1:15PM
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indigobirder, thank you for your post. I was feeling alone out here. The site is very helpful and I hope others aren't chased away by the negative responses. At 2:00 AM the site can be a life saver........ :)

    Bookmark   August 8, 2006 at 1:30PM
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