Delayed Speaking in 3 year old / Selective talking

danmomJune 12, 2006

My dd is 3 years old on Friday. I am being assured by everyone that she is just a late talker and will suddenly start talking. She knows everything like 1-20, A-Z, recognizes everyone by their names and objects too. She is sooo intelligent. But she wont speak in sentences. I know she can talk coz she repeats every single word that she hears Dora or any of her TV pals say. She does not watch a lot of TV but for some reason is living in TV land and repeats only what she sees on her favorite programs. Again, not everything on TV, only her stuff.

I keep calling out her name and she wont even look up. Sometimes, she would as if saying - Ok, what do you want? That really bothers me coz I wish I could talk to her and explain things. She is probably listening but does not react or reply. She can hear pretty well coz if I say - Dora from 100 miles away, she comes running.

She repeats everything I ask her to say. I make her talk now like - Say, I want to drink water. I want to use the potty. She would just do everything herself. If I dont feed her, she wont eat!!!!

I think I may have been over protective and giving her everything before she asks or that she is a lonely child. She has just started preschool and is happy there but still does what she does at home.

I wish I could hear her chat to me and say her friends names and tell me what happened in school.

I was working until April. I am a SAHM becoz I think I can make her talk?! Please help!!!!!!!

:-( Danmom

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Each child is so different especially with language development, but it does sound like your daughter may be behind in speech so I would run your concerns by the pediatrician. How is she with her auditory comprehension? Will she bring you a book if you ask, etc?

I think it's nice that you are taking time to help her, but don't blame yourself for her slow talking. Some kids are just naturally slower. There are some activities that may help. Here's a link with some suggestions.

But, be sure to bring up your concerns to her pediatrician just in case there is a medical problem that needs to be evaluated further.

Good luck

Here is a link that might be useful: Activities

    Bookmark   June 12, 2006 at 11:57PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks Carla, your words are so assuring. The link is amazing. I think I have read your other posts in other forums.

She does understand simple and sometimes complex commands like - bring me the blue pillow from the bedroom or the white shoes are in the store... she would run and bring it to me - ONLY when she wants it or when she is in a really good mood. Sometimes, she says stuff like normal kids. For eg: when I was giving her a banana, which she didnt want at the time, she said - keep it there... pointing to the table! So its not like she doesnt know but sometimes she is in another world!

She has a lot of autism traits like arranging things in order etc. But I wouldn't jump to conclusions as I have done sooo much research in this and I can be sure she isn't autistic. PDD perhaps.

Everytime I am down, she would do something to make me feel wrong like I would call her once and she would look at me smiling and obey commands etc.

This morning I screamed my head off in the car calling out her name and asking her to look at some pretty pink flowers that were next to our car. She just wouldn't look. Sometimes, she looks instantly.

She does not talk to strangers or say hello, reply to whats your name etc. I get so embarrassed when she goes ramble ramble to a complete stranger about DOra or something else she saw on TV.

Its amazing how clear her speech is when she repeats stuff she hears from TV.

Today she drew a circle herself and said circle. And tried other shapes. When she couldnt, she just asked me to draw. She is also interested in coloring now so thats one fear out of the way! I thought she would never draw!

Again, thanks for the link, Laks

    Bookmark   June 13, 2006 at 9:02AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Please dont second guess yourself. I run a daycare and have seen this MANY times, get professional advice. Not just a pediatrician, around here (NY) we have Early Intervention programs. This is a critical age where delays could be helped and hopefully wont cary through to the school years.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2006 at 4:13PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I have an autistic grandson. He was far from the "usual" as far as the autism spectrum was concerned, but after spending 3 days at a pediatric neurology clinic that was the clear diagnosis. He was 3 and immediatly sent to a special ed school all day ( 9 AM until 3) and improved a lot.
Autism is not a yes or no is a scale and you can have severe or mild forms. Some of the milder forms are Ausperger's Syndrom which falls on the Autism scale.
Get her tested....not just your pediatrician but demand an evaluation from a pedes neuro doc.
The behavior you describe ring all the bells and whistles on autism....and the earlier she is daignosed the better the outcome. Please do right by your child!
Linda C

    Bookmark   July 12, 2006 at 1:03PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I thought the same thing when I was reading this Linda, autism. I agree, have it checked out by the right party, the sooner the better.

    Bookmark   July 13, 2006 at 3:04PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Ditto -- Have her evaluated by someone who really knows autism and PDDs. Sounds like, if she is on the autism specturm, she's at the mild end. But the right kinds of help can make a huge difference.

    Bookmark   August 11, 2006 at 6:39PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo


You just described my daughter ! I think I know how you feel, because I am soooo frustrated... My daughter is very intelligent, also align things and sort them by shape, colors etc. She will be 3 years old in January. Please (oh! so please !!) talk to me. My email is and I would love to talk to you ! Thank's...

    Bookmark   November 2, 2008 at 11:04PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Juliana - This post is more than two years old, so Danmom is probably long gone, but the advice given to her here is right on target.

First, do some online research into what autism in toddlers looks like. Don't read just one or two sites -- read five or six. You'll probably find some that scare the heck out of you, and others that comfort you. Not every child who lines things up is autistic -- some are merely very organized. The thing to look for is what else isn't quite normal.

Does she speak? How much? What does she say? Can she have simple, meaningful interactive conversations where you lead the conversation? Or does she have conversations at you and your participation isn't really part of her deal? Or only about certain subjects? Or does she repeat certain phrases over and over? Or use one tone of voice to repeat things she's heard (not imitating you) and another tone completely for 'regular speech'?

Does she point? Go to a window and look outside. Then look at her and say "Oh look! A birdie!" while pointing out the window. Does she look at you? Or does she look where you're pointing?

Does she ever use you like a tool? By that, I mean take your hand and move it to indicate you should get something for her?

Is she extra-sensitive to sounds, lights, tastes, smells, textures, temperatures? Or under-sensitive? Does she complain that it hursts to cut her hair? Or that the tags in her T-shirt or seams in her socks hurt? Have her lie on the sofa and close her eyes, then touch her on her tummy, arms, legs -- After each touch, ask her to touch her own body where you touched her. Can she do this?

If things don't look right, then kick into Mama-bear mode and get her evaluated as soon as possible. Be a Mama Bear and don't take "No" or "wait list" for an answer.

    Bookmark   November 5, 2008 at 9:39PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Dear Sweeby

Thank you for your time! I've been reading like crazy, trying to gather as much information as I can. My daughter is very organized,she plays with the toys and put them back at the boxes, don't even destroy the boxes ! She fixes things that are out of place at home (rugs, etc). She does not speak very much, she used to speak more when she started speaking a year ago. She says some new word a few times and doesn't want to say it again. She does not point. But she looks where I am pointing, most of the time (airplane, outside a window, etc). She uses me as a tool sometimes, but she looks ate me first. Sometimes she looks me in the eye and try to speak something and get frustrated because she can't. She's not extra sensitive to anything like that, she just doesn't like the vacuum cleaner noise (neither do I !!). I cut her hair without a problem and never complained about tags or socks.
I am from Brazil and I've been living here in US for 8 years. I have no family here and I only see them every two years. My friends don't have kids and my daughter didn't have a lot of contact with different people other than me or my husband. She never had a babysitter, and she just started school last August. (By the way, she loves school !). So, I know she is delay in some aspects, and I wonder if it's really autism or just the (really wrong way ) I was raising her, being over-overprotective. I am changing, making her more independent, playing more with other kids, being around people more often. I've noticed a change already and people around me said that she is different, more aware of the environment. She's been tested by an early childhood intervention program and they couldn't say why she is the way she is. The speech therapist said that she is extremely mind settled and that was the way she is, nothing else. We have some excellent days, where she interacts a lot, with everything and even people on the grocery shopping. And we have some difficult days, where she only wants to be with mom, inside the house. She is extremely intelligent, knows colors, shapes and plays with puzzles for older kids. She watches cartoons and laughs at the "right moment". I talked to my mom and she said that I took a long time to start talking. Another cousin wouldn't say a word until she was 3 years old.
I guess I'll wait until the end of the year, see if we have more improvement now that she is going to school and me being less protective, not babying her so much... If nothing changes, then I'll take her to be tested again, by another institution. Does that sound plausible ?
Thank you again for your time and interest.

    Bookmark   November 7, 2008 at 11:30PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Juliana -

First off, I don't think you were raising her wrong! So please give yourself a break. It's good that she has more opportunity to interract with other children now and see new and different thing. That's a great way to expose her to more social situations, and also, to see how her development compares with theirs. If you do end up concluding that there are problems, having comparisons to the other children will be very helpful.

The nature of your daughter's differences are certainly in line with the autism spectrum -- but the severity of her issues seems very mild. She sounds to me like one of those kids "who can be cured" by intensive early work. (I know autism can't be cured -- but some kids with mild symptoms can get so much better that they no longer meet the criterea.)

So keep working with her. Expose her to new ways of doing things, preparing her in advance so she won't get upset. For example - "We're going to take a different road to the grocery store today. Sometimes it's fun to do something a different way." Vary some of your other routines as well so she learns it's OK not do follow a routine rigidly. It's good that she's neat and organized, but you want her to be able to tolerate mild disorganization as well.

Try to arrange play dates with one other child at a time, and tell your daughter what to do. "When Mary gets her, say 'Hi Mary!' and ask her if she wants to play with blocks." You may need to tell her how to play with another child, what is appropriate and what is not. Inviting more kids will change the dynamics and not help her develop her social skills.

For right now, I'd research intervention for kids with autism and do as much of those things as you can at home. Whether she is or is not 'on the spectrum', your activities will be helpful.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2008 at 10:20AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

This may seem overly simplistic...but have you had her tested for food allergies? The reason I ask is that my daughter was "different" she had frequent ear infections. I had her tested for food allergies; which she had and so many-changed up her diet (all natural but without the allergens ) and what a difference. Even her personality changed. Now in her late 20's she has a PhD. It's surprising what food allergies can do.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 1:35AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You know, Straycat's exactly right --
And what she's saying is related to what I was trying to say.

If you do end up researching autism, you'll find a number of instances where parents "cured" their children using a variety of methods -- special diets, suplements, certain therapies. And what I was trying to suggest to you is that your daughter sounds like those children. It truly might be as simple as changing her diet! Because some food allergies cause children to act 'spacey' and not react normally. Or mineral toxicities. Or immune reactions. Or whatever --

Now my personal opinion is that if it can be cured by a change in diet, it wasn't autism.
But I'm also willing to say that if the problem hadn't been cured that it would have been called autism.

    Bookmark   November 20, 2008 at 5:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I can't believe it !! I've never heard of that before, and guess what... She is lactose intolerant ! She can't drink regular milk without having a really bad diarrhea. Yogurt usually doesn't cause that, but maybe... it affects her in other way. Anyway, I am making an appointment with an allergist and changing her diet. I did cut all lactose in the last couple of days, and... today, we went to Barnes and Noble and she was soooooo sociable, sat quietly and listened to older girls reading stories, played with them a little. I was shocked ! She napped better, she played better, she had the best day at school so far (according to her teacher). I am amazed, I would never imagined that her diet could be affecting her speech. I don't know what to say, I don't know how to thank you guys for taking some time and sharing your thoughts and experiences... Since I am changing her diet, after researched online I've decided to "go green" and use only organics and different cleaning products at home. You guys definitely change my life ! I'll keep you all posted how things progress, so other (desperate) parents can use the information.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2008 at 11:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi Julian,

I am very glad you posted the situation with your daughter. I have a 28 month old son who is not speaking with the exception of "Ma", "Da" and "baby" - "yum" and "uh oh".

He follows directions when he wants, but does things only what he wants to do. He is very affectionate and interacts with other children as much as any other child his age does. When he plays he likes to line-up his trains and make sure the wheels work properly, but he also plays blocks, and dinkies etc.

I am a little annoyed when some of my friends suggest he may have autism. It seems whenever someone hears of a development pattern that is not mainstream, they automatically suggest a spectrum disorder. I am a higly educated and observant person and refuse to give him a label that others perceive is a 'catch-all' for speech-delayed toddlers. I understand the importance of early diagnosis and incident rate of specturm disorders in North America, but I also caution against reaching for an easy answer.

I am curious, since several people mentioned autism to you, if your daughter was ever diagnosed with it (a spectrum disorder encompasses autism). I am concerned about my son's speech delay, I like to hear of other mothers in a similar situation with their children where the child was treated as a unique case.

Thank you!

    Bookmark   November 27, 2008 at 1:17PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

So are you getting him Speech Therapy Elgadsby?
It's certainly not too soon.

And while I agree with you that autism spectrum issues are over-diagnosed and can be a 'catch-all' diagnosis, it concerns me that "...some of my friends suggest he may have autism." That's probably not a suggestion they made lightly, and you should ask them "Other than his speech delay, what makes you suspect autism?" Then see what they have to say.

My son has a catch-all autism diagnosis. And in my heart-of-hearts, I'm pretty sure that autism isn't what he has. (I don't know what it IS, other than that he was born with it and I'm 99% sure it's genetic.) BUT - That probably-wrong autism diagnosis has been a great resource for finding therapists, therapies, parent resources, medical information, special education services and parenting strategies of all sorts.

Your concern seems to be that your son be treated like a unique case. And from my own experiences, I can tell you that most kids diagnosed with autism ARE treated like a unique case, because they are unique cases! The wide variability of kids on the autism spectrum is one of the most challenging treatment obstacles. No two autistic children are alike. (I know a pair of identical twin boys, both autistic -- and yet incredibly different. Same DNA, same diagnosis, completely different symptoms.)

Don't be afraid of 'the A word'.
If that shoe doesn't fit, it will be discarded soon enough.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2008 at 2:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My Daughter will be 3 this June 2009. She has not spoken a single word yet. She 'talks' a lot in her own way. They seem to be gibberish because no one can understand her. She mimics some of the words she hears from us and on TV. She looks at us in the eyes and 'talks' to us but we can't have a normal simple conversation.
She is still on diapers but we have been potty training her. When she poops in her diaper, she either comes to us to tell us again in words we don't understand, and gestures towards her diaper or removes it herself then runs to the bathroom. When I ask her if she pooped, she would nod her head.
She likes singing and dancing a lot. She calls her brother when she needs him. When I tell her to fetch something she does.
Aside from her speech problem, she doesn't want to eat solid meals. We have to put everything in a blender just so she would eat. But when it comes to pizza, junk snack foods, etc., she gobbles them up like crazy. We only let her eat some of those out of desperation of finding out if she will eat them without putting them in a blender.
Her Doctor told me I'm a bad Mom because i didn't introduce solid food to her early on. But I swear to God even before she was 6mos old I started introducing solid food to her. She just couldn't take it. She would throw up everytime.
Some friends told me I should starve her and she will be forced to eat solid foods.I tried but we couldn't bear it after 4 hours. She didn't seem to mind she missed out on one meal!
Any help or sharing will be appreciated.

    Bookmark   February 28, 2009 at 9:30AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"She looks at us in the eyes and 'talks' to us"

This is fabulous! Really important. But it also points strongly to a speech disorder, and 99+% of them can be cured with speech therapy -- especially if you start early. (Like NOW)

"Aside from her speech problem, she doesn't want to eat solid meals."

This may be related to the speech problems. Some children have trouble learning how to use their mouths or getting all of the parts to work correctly and in sync. The problems may be muscular, neurological or a combination of the two, or something else like a hyper-sensitive gag response or strong texture preferences. But it's GREAT that she'll eat junk food solid, and I'd use that to expand her dietary range. Things like sipping thick milkshakes through a straw, chewy foods like carmel or taffy, cruncy foods like nuts or croutons, or licking peanut butter off a spoon will all build different types of oral strength and endurance. Blowing horns, bubbles, balloons and whistles may also help. If weak facial muscles play a significant role in her speech problems, these activities may help.

The best website I've ever found for kids with complex speech disorders and issues like feeding problems is I'm not suggesting your daughter has apraxia (though she may) but the website is fabulous even if she doesn't. They also have a forum similar to this one with some very knowledgeable and helpful folks on it who will get you going in the right direction. The folks who run that organization are WONDERFUL and were instrumental in my son's progress. He did/does have apraxia of speech and needed 7 years of near-daily speech therapy.

(And if you do end up on those forums, please say you were sent by Susan in Houston who has a 13yo son named John who is doing really well, and that she sends hugs to Sharon, Donna and Kathy!)

    Bookmark   February 28, 2009 at 6:48PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My son has significant eating disorders due to a couple of issues...first, eating (or taking nutrition through a bottle) caused pain (chronic diarrhea) so at just a couple of weeks of age he quit making an effort there. We are happy to puree his food, because prior to doing that he didn't eat anything. But he can eat solids as well, just not mixed with another texture. He just can't unjumble them in his mind so he tries to swallow anything without chewing unless it's an "All chew" food.

So for instance, pizza. If I let him, he can eat pizza, but a whole bunch because his jaws get too tired (which could be happening with you). He'd eat a huge amount (for him) on occasion, then not touch solid food for a while (which is most likely due to jaw stregnth). But he can't eat things like bean soup...the broth throws him and he misses the beans and chokes.

So, first, let me see if I can help a bit..first, I hope your pediatrician didn't say you're a bad mother. I happen to know I'm an excellent mother (we've been tested too many times not to think we're good parents). If they did, you should consider a new doc, really! Secondly, it is true that when you introduce food to a child at the right time, they do develop muscles that make all the difference in their future mouth skills. Eating, talking, drinking, etc., are all efffected by how and when a child learns to eat. But as with my son, you can't always move them into the foods that "normal" kids eat when you have to. There are hundreds of thousands of parents who deal with this daily, and thousands who end up in feeding clinics for long term care because of it. They're not all bad parents.

She could have a sensory perception disorder as well, which for some, makes eating a difficult chore.

One thing they do in feeding clinics is to start kids on highly pureed food (ie th texture of thin pea soup). Then they work them up from there. Each time you introduce a new texture you need to give them a week or longer if it's a tough texture, to get the hang of handling that texture in their mouths. So, start with where your texture is now...pureed...but how much? If you're down to milkshake smooth, don't process quite so much next time and move to applesauce texture. If that goes well, (and there will be choking and gagging and vomit...get ready for it and then don't panic when it happens, just move onto the next bite after a calm and quick clean up). You then move up to a lumpier texture...then you move to fork mashed. This is done with a fork (duh LOL) but you want to pour say a 1/4 of the meal size onto a plate. Mash it first going on the horizon across the pile of food, then go back over it vertically, then scrape into your feeding bowl. This is a huge step forward so it may take time. After fork mashed works, you move onto just fork mashing it one way (say horizontally) which will leave more chunks. Then you go to very finely diced foods, progressing up the ladder with different chunk sizes. You have to do this slowly, very slowly!

You also want to limit the meal sizes so as to not wear her jaws out. My son is 24lbs (he is 3 years 4 months) and we do six ounce meals three or four times daily to meet his calorie needs. He supliments with a bottle (because he can't drink from a cup).

Eating disorders in children are so hard to deal with! Believe me I know :) You need patience, but you might try giving some of those options above a try, and at the same time, get her evaluated asap by a speech therapist who specializes in feeding (it's important that they be feeding primarily). My son sees his once a week. It's been the difference between him starving to death or not. (Because contrary to what people say, some kids will not eat, even if you starve them). My son can go over 24 hours without food, and has gone up to 48 (in a hospital testing not do this at home ever ever ever!!) He has no natural hunger drive.

I wish you the best in this fun journey! And having been through it myself and knowing it's going to be in our future for many years...let me just send a mental hug. It sucks! I do know it sucks!

    Bookmark   March 4, 2009 at 9:55PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My son just turned 3 today and he really hasn't stated talking yet he say ma ma and no,but he hasn't started talking yet. If he wants something he takes me to it. He knows how to count from 1-10. But when I call his name he doesn't respond or he doesn't comprehend with things yet. When its time to leave he gets his shoes and grab the keys. He can feed himself and he shows eye contact when u talk to him,he loves hugs and kisses,and loves to play with his brother. I have him a speech therapist coming every week now to help him and am taking him to the neurologist next week but is there anyone that can tell what could be the problem with my son.

    Bookmark   September 22, 2011 at 8:24PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

At this stage, the problem could be any number of things from clogged ears that impair his hearing but are easily cured to autistic spectrum disorders and anything in between. Rather than scaring yourself with a variety of possible diagnoses over the internet, know that you're doing the right thing by getting him into speech therapy and seeking the advice of doctors.

Ask that the neurologist screen him for autism -- NOT because I think he has it, but because the initial screens are fairly simple to do, and because if it is something along those lines, it's important to start treatment early.

Ask your speech therapist what other specialists he/she thinks you should see, and what you can do at home to help your son develop his speech.

Also, if you haven't done it yet, DO take him to have his hearing checked. You'd be surprised at the amount of information a skilled pediatric audiologist can get from even a non-verbal toddler. Just make sure that the audiologist you take him to knows in advance that he is pre-verbal so she'll have the right equipment and supplies for testing.

I know you're worried -- I've been there. Just know that working aggressively to find the answers is the best you can do for your son right now. You may need to push -- Don't be reluctant to do it.

    Bookmark   September 22, 2011 at 10:40PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

There is a craziness with autism nowadays. We are trying so hard to find some autistic traits in our kids that I would really wonder if any kid got into the system would come out clean (even the most normal one).
I have a degree in Child Psychology/Special Education and two personal cases of ''autism'' in the family.
One is mine. I was a second kid in the family with severe speech delay (I couldn't answer what is my name until I was 5) and no desire to comunicate. I did not play with kids or dolls, I just like to read and to be left alone. I walked on my toes until 5th grade and I had a lot of weird behaviours like licking toys, sucking on clothes, playing with hands for hours, clumsiness. I could not follow instructions and did not want to participate in any group activities until I was 6 or 7. My parents and relatives describe me as ''disconnected from the world''. I have never liked loud noises. I became a very normal adult, excelling academically, with no wierdness, lots of friends, very sociable and enjoying to be around people, with a beautiful family etc. I did several scales for adults with autism and I am way below the average scores for normal people. So I am not even as autistic as a regular person. Thanks God I was not born in US to be diagnosed and labeled and eventually placed in a special ed setting. My parents just thought I was genius, since they did not have any explanation for my lack of desire to comunicate or interact (not even make eye-contact when they entered the room). Their confidence made more than any services I would have gotten here.

Now my 3 year old son struggles with exactly same problems, except that he has an excellent pretend play and he likes to play with kids and understands the concept of friendship. He does not have any of my weirdnesses with licking toys or toe-walking, but he would repeat sentences from cartoons instead. Like me, he cannot carry a conversation at this age but he is very good in telling me what he wants or asking for help. He had a temporary diagnostic of autism at 20 months and three medical doctors saying normal development with speech delay. He got one year speech therapy with almost no result. It was more like a play date with a nice lady bringing toys and having conversations about toys mostly to herself. We noticed excellent results after playing several times a DVD teaching kids how to speak by repeating single words associated with pictures. I am still wondering: speech therapists here do not know that repetition of what you are teaching the kid works the best at an early age, especially if associated with some positive emotions/interests/etc?
However, my son's teachers suggested to get him tested because he is not like the other kids and he does not want to communicate with them. Here we go again, I said to myself. Does anyone ever thought that the myelination is partially complete at 5-7 years and before that age you cannot say anything for sure? Please, parents, do not be so quick to accept any diagnostic. I would rather identify several behaviors I want to correct in my child and work on these behaviors or ask help specifically for these behaviors. Having your kid labeled as ASD or whatever disorder name will be found fascinating in the future brings a lot of stress in the family (and guess what? desperate parents = stressed, anxious, misbehaving kids). Kids placed in special education have a lot of issues with self-confidence even later in life. Celebrate each kid individuality rather than trying to ''normalize'' him.

    Bookmark   October 2, 2011 at 10:25PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thank you sweeby and rj13 for their sharings. My 33 months old son has similar situation (I don't want to say problems) described above. He can count 1 to fifteen and recognize A to Z (big letters and small letters). He doesn't seem to have other symptoms for autism besides language delay.
He started to make sound "ba" "ma" at about eight months, but then stopped. And I thought back, I blamed on the MMR vaccine he had. Although there is no medical evidence to prove MMR vaccine and autism are related, some information online state that they are somehow related. At one year old check up, the doctor suggested my son should have an evaluation if he was still not speaking when he was 18 months. Thank God that he started to speak more words at 17 months. However, his speaking is progressing very slowly. He can make some 2-3 word phrases but not sentences. I have to force him to follow me to say the words. Quite often, I found him having difficulties pronouncing the words. I don't know if this made him not speaking, just because he cannot pronounce it. Since he doesn't use his speech and hence lack of practice, he just doesn't like to use verbal communication. I heard some people bringing their toddlers to ENT to have test and treatment. He likes to watch TV very much. He can watch it non-stop. Don't know if this also cause his language delay. I am also thinking if that would be caused by his banging his head couple times when he was little.
Anyway, I will bring my son to doctor and get formal evaluation. Same as other parents on this forum, I am worried and frustrated.

    Bookmark   October 5, 2011 at 3:05PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Good to read more about your son Meilee -- If the only 'autistic' symptoms you see are language-related, I would definitely not jump the gun into suspecting autism. Screen for it - yes. But don't assume that's what it is.

Regarding vaccines causing autism -- That scare was one of the worst abuses of 'science' in recent memory! The Dr. who conducted and published that research was proven to have manipulated his data to further his own agenda -- so his work was invalidated. And I'm sure you've heard of the massive government studies trying to validate or disprove the theory? All of which cleared vaccines.

Yes, I've read all the stuff about how Big Pharma and the Gov't are in cahoots and don't want anything anti-vaccine to be published. I can easily believe that. (So I watched and read critically for several years before Wakefield's fraud was discovered and published.) BUT -- It still doesn't make Andrew Wakefield's "science" true. I'm furious at the harm he did to thousands of kids who caught and passed on diseases we can vaccinate against!

Anyway - Have his hearing checked. Continue to work with him to build his language, getting him to imitate you as often and as much as he can. Play with him in ways that encourage verbal output -- Push a little car and say 'Voom voom' or 'go, go, go'. (When he speaks, push the car. When he stops, you stop.) When he wants a cookie, have him give you a word for it. Accept his best effort, but challenge him too.

And don't worry too much about the head banging (unless he's still doing it.) I don't know a single child who hasn't banged his head a time or two...

    Bookmark   October 5, 2011 at 8:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I found some findings about milk allergy and speech delay. I am quoting some of other parents from the above websites. I remembered I started to give my son whole milk after he turned one. Since then, his speech didn't improve. I am going to stop giving milk to my son and will see if he will have any improvement.

"We took milk away from our non-autistic child at age 5 (minor speech issue), and the difference was immediate. Our child was much more focused, speech clearer, better sleep, easier to manage, no more tantrums. We later discovered our child is allergic to milk. "

"I have a 23 mo old son with a speech delay as well. We not only stopped milk, but all products with casein and have seen a big change. We took him off dairy/casein 10 days ago and he is making more eye contact, better attention, and is trying way more to talk. He is starting to point more too. His skin looks great and no more diareah."

"I saw a difference within 3 days. We give him RiceDream with cereal and on it's own and he likes it. It has the same amount of calcium as milk. At the very begining of taking him of milk it was to see if it helped the eczema too."

    Bookmark   October 7, 2011 at 8:22PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I am a mother of 3 years and 6 months boy and I have been browsing a lot lately on todders development and came accross your question.Its the same exacct question I have for my kid can you please help me what was the problem and is it curable what I need to do?
He is going to preschool now the teacher has ask him to be evaluated. I need help..Can you please help me.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2011 at 12:13PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi, Hyma:

I can totally understand your worry and your urge to seek for help. I have gone thru that. While I was still waiting for the hearing test and speech evaluation appointment, I came across some websites I posted earlier regarding milk allergy and speech delay. I would consider my son non-autistic with speech delay. He is now 33 months old and he could speak some one to three word phrase but not sentences. I stopped giving him milk but soy milk 9 days ago. After couple days, I could see some improvement. He suddenly said some words that I never taught him before but he may have heard from us. Then, several days later, he was more willing to repeat what I taught him and said it clearer. He could gradually say 5-6 words together. He seems to understand more and does more variety of activities instead of just watching TV. I will watch him closely and teach him to see the improvement will continue.

If you want to email directly, you can email to

    Bookmark   October 18, 2011 at 7:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo


How Many Of The Children With Delayed Speach Are Vaccinated????
Something To Think About And Research.

    Bookmark   January 25, 2012 at 9:08PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

MissRealness -

You don't seem to be aware that the 'vaccine scare' was based on fraudulent research that had been manipulated to wrongfully support Dr. Andrew Wakefield's horrifying conclusions. The man was a fraud and a phony, and the harm he did by spreading this false information is horrifying.

Parents, if you're wondering about the reported link between vaccines and autism, PLEASE research Dr. Wakefield. He was the pioneer in the 'vaccines may cause autism' scare, and his research was the basis for the uproar.

It has been conclusively disproven.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2012 at 11:08PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hi there,

I noticed this thread ended almost a year go. If any of you could please, please update how your children are doing. Were they diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum? I am curious because I am having similar experiences with my almost 3 year old and eager to do all I can to help him. He is already in speech therapy.

Apart from changing your kids diet,did you do anything that brought noticeable change in his/ her speech or habits. I will love to know everything. Thanks for taking time out o respond to this. You can either respond to me In private or post to the thread.

    Bookmark   June 16, 2013 at 2:02PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm also replying to this thread late. My son will be 4 tomm. And he still does not speak in full sentences or communicate the way other children do. I've asked our pediatrician several times, and he feels there is no need for me to worry- yet. He displays a great deal of the same characteristics your child does- however, we stay home quite a bit due to a family members illness, and he is rarely around other children. I feel he is delayed in part, due to this. It seems, though, that everyone wants to jump on the autism bandwagon- much like they did 20 years ago for the ADD bandwagon. I'm curious if no one considers environmental pollution factors? Ingredients in our food mutating DNA? It seems something is happening on a countrywide spectrum, and people don't look at it. I'm in the process of changing my sons diet to organic- and it's made an unbelievable change in him. I'm concerned, but I will not take my son to a doc- in- a- box "child neuropsych" to have a label slapped on him. He can do some things other talkative children can't do at 10 years old (drawing). I will work with what I have, and implore people not to want their child stuck with a label or medicine they can live much better without.

    Bookmark   July 20, 2013 at 8:15PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hello everyone. So happy this threat still active. My 3 year and 4 months old son also has speech delay. Since he was one year old i took him to the doctors may be 7 times and every time the same answer everything is normal he is just slow to talk. I was very worried when until he was 2 years old as before that he used to scream a lot and almost all day, the doctors used to say he is too small to be evaluated. But when he was two he calmed down totally. He is very strong and developed physically. the only problem he doesn't talk. He do say words like hug, wet, hot, milk, juice he can count from 1 to 10, he knows colors. The other thing is that he can say a word a couple of times and then not to use it as though he forgets it. He likes to communicate, he is in heaven when we are heaving guests and he entertains them a lot, bringing them his toys, drawing for them. lately he stared to greet them and say good bye. he is trying to ask for their names. He likes to play with other kids, but he is very demanding and always wants to do everything as he wants. He never avoids eye to eye contact. Points to objects and watches when I point to them. He always says yes or something when I call his name. He asks me to come with him and he shows me what he wants as he cant put it in words. As you noticed Im trying try to say he displays no autistic syndromes and other things like that. To tell the truth I'm still very worried as the question "what if.." is always in my mind. We have another appointment on august 28 with doctor again. Ill keep you posted what they will say, as I really know how you all feel and want you all to know that you are not alone. Before going to the doctor Im going to try to take away milk products from him but still have no clue how to do it as he simply ADORES it. I have also a 5 year old daughter and she freely speaks 3 languages and even translated from one to another and for me having a slow talker after her is very unusual if you know what I mean. Thank you all for sharing your experiences these all are really helpful.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2013 at 6:19PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

dear Danmom and Juliana
it feels as if you have described my child.
my son is now 3 years and two months and he is exactly as Damom has described her child.

i feel so helpless. it is so frustrating. however he makes eye contact with me and my husband. and those in my houshold, including my parents since he meets them often. but with strangers and people he does not know well or does not want to interact he does not make eye contact.

he does not initiate conversation. if i ask him how his day was at school he does not tell me. if i ask who his friends are or what he did. there is no reply.
today i got so frustrated i took him to the bathroom locked both of us inside and asked him questions regarding what he did in school. his friends name. his teachers name. he did answer. but i also rephrased my questions by giving him a choice of answers.
e.g. what is your teachers name? is it Amrah aunty or it is Geeti aunty?
but i dont know if he answered in fear because we were locked in the bathroom or cause i gave him options in answers..

sometimes he just keeps singing to himself which is mostly alphabets and numbers..
he knew all his alphabets when he was 1 year and 3 months.. could count till 10 in english and spansih.. (thanks to dora)
now he can read and identify most 3 letter words, he can write numbers and alphabets, make some 3 letter words out of random alphabets and can count and identify upto 100 in numbers.. he knows a lot of spanish words..memorizes routes in the first go..and a crazy memory which never seems to forget anything..

but his language / speech.. his lack of conversation... this also limits his interaction with other kids.. his lack of eye contact.. sometimes he plays with them but sometimes he wanders off on his own...

i would appreciate if any of the previous moms who posted about their kids could give an update.. i am so depressed right now..

    Bookmark   September 2, 2013 at 2:47PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
babysitting rates
I have one 17 month old son. Generally, What are the...
playdates - how to relate to a "passive" mother?
I have one 2 yr old son. I am trying to have playdates...
My 2 years old doesn't walk, talk due to seizures
Dear All, My little daughter now 2, started fitting...
Fever & Rash from MMR Vaccine?
DD had her 15 month checkup last week and got her MMR...
3 yr old started stuttering
I am the grandmother of a darling 3 yr old little girl....
Sponsored Products
Rite Lite 20 LED Light Tube System, 4 Tubes w/ 5 LEDs in Each LPL954W-AC
$17.48 | Home Depot
Forged Vertical Bars Outdoor Wall Sconce-Damp by Hubbardton Forge
$284.00 | Lumens
Armen Living Elise Dining Side Chair - Set of 2 - LC8099SIBL
$299.00 | Hayneedle
George Kovacs | 3-Light Bath
$170.00 | YLighting
Gel Memory Foam Big Bump 3'' Mattress Topper
$64.99 | zulily
Serena & Lily Pebble Zip Sack
Serena & Lily
JESCO Lighting Track Lighting 96 in. Low Voltage 150W Monorail Kit With 3 White
Home Depot
Human Ghost Display
Grandin Road
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™