My 1 year old won't leave me alone!

cylinceApril 5, 2007

My son is 1 and a half years old. I always held him as a baby, otherwise he would just scream. THis,of course, got him to be very attached. My husband has never watched him before(cuz he doesn't feel like it) but lately he is willing to maybe once a month. (if I'm lucky) THe one time he tried,my son just screamed and screamed. I was only in the bathroom! He won't go to sleep without me,or play with toys for to long without crying. I can't even make dinner because I trip over him hanging on my leg crying to be picked up! Its driving me crazy & all day long,I find myself frustrated & yelling at everyone. Please help!

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I've had days like that.

I think you need to set some goals of 'me' time and figure out some ways to make it work. Part of that is getting your dh to help and part will be teaching your child to be more independent.

You already know that your dh needs to help you more and give you a break. That's the hard part. I would suggest telling him you need help. I have to ask/tell my dh the same thing. If I want help getting the kids to bed or help getting them to brush their teeth, I have to ask him. He doesn't just jump in there. The same goes for when I need 'me' time. My dh isn't unwilling to help and he doesn't take subtle hints. He is a good guy, but he needs someone to flat out tell him to help.

At a year and a half, your ds probably likes a little more physical or outdoor activities. I'd probably start by asking your dh to take ds to the park or go for a walk or even play ball in the yard. Your dh should be able to do that without needing you there. Tell him you need time by yourself. If your presence at home is too handy, then physically remove yourself. Go get get a haircut, go shopping, or take your own walk. Do something for yourself even if it is grocery shopping without a child in the cart.

I'm guessing you're a SAHM. I would suggest finding some other SAHM's out there and letting your kids play together. If you could find one or form one, a playgroup would be great for support for you and playmates for your child. Other ways to meet parents with children would be to call around and find out about various preschool activities in your area. Most libraries have a reading hour. Go on a couple of different days to see if one group is better than another. If you have a zoo, they may have something. Stick your child in a stroller and go walking around the neighborhood. Youll meet some local people and possibly others with small children. Some churches have childrens programs like choir that you and your child could participate in. Money may/may not be a factor for you in getting other help. Another option would be to find a preschool or Mom's Day out that would take your child for a few hours a day or two a week. Meeting other other moms for that little bit of interaction would probably help you tremendously. It would help your ds, because it would distract him and teach him to play with others.

Things may not magically change overnight. You can do it. Pick a small goal for yourself for this weekend such as a trip to the store by yourself. Go buy a few flower bulbs or seeds to plant in the yard this week if the weather is nice. It'll give you something to look forward to and it will be a distraction. I think you'll start feeling better.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2007 at 11:30AM
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By holding him all the time,you taught him not to learn to comfort himself.Now he relies on you solely for his comfort.You're going to have to start having more time away from him.He will scream at first for a while,but eventually will stop.
You need to try things like putting him in a playpen for 10-15 minutes and not taking him out even when he screams.He should learn to soothe himself.

    Bookmark   April 21, 2007 at 3:50AM
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Tell your dear husband to put down the old milwalkee and be a man- and a father. Paul

    Bookmark   May 2, 2007 at 1:19AM
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I agree with coolmama. Just keep having longer and longer periods away, and eventually he'll quit.

    Bookmark   May 9, 2007 at 8:58AM
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He's not going to quit, but if you can't hold him, you can't hold him. Find activites that can distract him while you're cooking and in the kitchen. There are refrigerator magnet toys that works in our house. Plus, she only plays with them while she's in the kitchen. Try putting him in his high chair with some crayons and paper, I realize at 1 1/2 some may end up in his mouth, but at least they're non toxic! A bouncy ball works, just be aware, it is a slip hazard for you. Maybe a pushable car? Kids fuss, try averting his attention somewhere else. Christy

    Bookmark   May 9, 2007 at 3:03PM
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Thanks, so far, things have been getting alittle better. He's just really loud now. But with me being in a women's shelter, he has alot more room 2 run & play. So maybe it was just the bad situation we were in. Thanks 4 your advice

    Bookmark   May 9, 2007 at 5:48PM
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