terrible 3's please help

ashleykreay22March 26, 2013

So to start off, this is about my niece. I am her nanny. I have raised her for the most part while mom was working and in school. She was the sweetest thing anyone could ever imagine until the day she turned three. She has only been 3 for about a week and a half but I am already going crazy and I am 30 weeks pregnant! She was potty trained, but now she walks in her room, takes her panties off and pees on her floor. She poops her pants, and poops in the bath tub. If I ask her to put something away, or to not do something she screams at me. When it goes to putting her to bed, it is a constant battle. Screaming, kicking, throwing things etc. I am sure a lot of it has to do with me not being her mom but this is what I do to live here. She is my job and being 30 weeks pregnant I am feeling like she is controlling me. I need help and it would be nice to not be bashed seeming how I am already emotional enough. Thank you

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Well, I guess if she has change her behavior, then it could be several reasons.

She could be more aware of what is going on around her, and might be reacting to the fact that her mother/father is not there. Maybe she realizes that you are not her parent.

Is she eating properly - nutritious food, plenty of fruit, veges, protein etc.

Is she getting enough sleep ?

If you have addressed all those basic requirements for a three year old and you still can't come up with a reason for her different behavior, then can I suggest that you look at the way that YOU relate to her.

Are you using a reward based system of discipline, or is there a lot of yelling and angry words. Have you tried a "time out" way of treating unsavory behavior ?

Children throw up lots of challenges, and as their carers we need to be one step ahead of them.

I think offering "carrots" for good behavior is a good plan. Such as "when we have both tidied up the toybox, we can go to the park". or "If you can poop in the toilet for a whole day we can go and frolic with the birds"

At that age, they like magical, silly, simple things, just think of all the things she likes, reading a special book, feeding the ducks etc, and you have your "carrot" system in place.

Always talk in positive words, remove any negative remarks, gloss over the bad behavior. You will find in a short amount of time she will start being retrained and will do the right thing.

Good luck - this is all good training for you when you have your own child !

Remember you are cleverer than her !

    Bookmark   March 27, 2013 at 1:45AM
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Agree with Popi ... well said !! Getting enough sleep helps too. I'm in mid-50's, when I don't get enough sleep, I'm more depressed. It's the same way with children.

What really helps me is taking Brewer's yeast ... I buy the cheapest type, NOW brand, sold for $10 per lb. at the Health Food Store. Athletics & marathon runners use Brewer's yeast for endurance. WebMD report on Brewer's Yeast: decrease colds, boost immunity, rich in all vitamins, and help with fatigue, plus HELP WITH SLEEP.

It's safe for children, since it's classified as a food-by-product, rich in vitamins. Brewer's yeast taste better if mixed with milk & honey, like a milkshake. It helps with acne in teenagers, lessen colds. Brewer's yeast is rich in B-vitamins, have a calming effect ...

The other supplement that's safe for children is fish-oil. In an experiment with Omega-3 in fish-oil, prisoners were given high Omega-3 versus high Omega-6. The prisoners fed with fish oil were much calmer & more well-behaved. Fish oil helps with deep sleep, plus low mercury.

Also mothers who took fish oil during pregnancy give birth to higher-IQ children. I didn't read the report on children's IQ and Omega-3 intake during pregnancy ... so I didn't take fish oil when I was pregnant, but I had severe craving for salmon, and had salmon every day. My kid now is in the gifted program in middle-school ... so my craving for salmon was a blessing.

Canned Sardines like Brunswick in Basil & Tomato sauce is cheap & least stinky, only $1.29 and richest in Omega-3, plus lowest in mercury (safe for children & pregnant women). My kid had a 2nd grade teacher who is beloved by the entire school. That teacher is slim, calm, energetic, full of love and happiness ... she has a canned sardine everyday for lunch. I started eating sardines and taking fish oils, resulting in better sleep.

The other supplement that helps with better sleep is CALM (magnesium citrate), with 1,200 Four and 1/2 stars on Amazon. Magnesium citrate is instantly absorbed by the body, versus magnesium oxide (sold at stores), which is less absorbed by the body, causing diarrhea & indigestion and tummy upset. We have been taking CALM for a week and notice a big difference in moods: everyone sleep better and more calm. I don't let things bother me as much like before.

We first tried CALM with stevia (lemon flavor) and my kid broke out in rash from allergy reaction to stevia, so we bought CALM, 8 oz, for $13, plain (no stevia) from Amazon. It actually tastes better than the flavored ones with stevia. My kid thinks it taste delicious with juice, and it helps her to be less constipated and sleep better.

Here is a link that might be useful: CALM (magnesium citrate) on Amazon

This post was edited by Strawberryhill on Fri, Oct 3, 14 at 9:50

    Bookmark   September 2, 2014 at 10:12AM
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Beware of canned tuna, highest in mercury. Definition of Pesticides include fungicides, herbicides, weed-killer, and insecticides. Pesticide is a neurotoxin, so is mercury. I once read a book by a pediatrician on the link between mercury in shots given to infants, and autism. We are bombarded with neurotoxins like mercury in canned tuna, mercury in infant shots, plus pesticides from food, with rising rate of autism.

For more info. on the effects of pesticides as neurotoxins causing stuttering, autism, ADHD, Parkinson's, and Alzheimer's, see link below:

A Jewish Mom wrote in a Parent's magazine how she fed her daughter fish everyday ... the child regressed mentally, could not even tie her shoes (a task that she mastered earlier). Her child's memory severely declined. The Mom took her kid to a specialist, the diagnose came back: mercury poisoning. From that time one, her kid can only eat canned tuna (high in mercury), once a year, on her birthday.

I feel so bad about feeding my kid raisins for years ... I didn't know that raisins are high in pesticides. The result? Her mouth & neck spasm, poor sleep, depression, and severe stuttering, which occurs right after 1/2 cup of raisins before bedtime.

The connection between pesticides and Autism is even stronger. Info: "Avoiding these crops can reduce your pesticides consumption levels by as much as 90%. Some of these items are fruit like cherries, apples, peaches, pears and grapes. Vegetables you could avoid are celery, spinach and sweet bell peppers."


Apple juice is the worst offender, since the skin is crushed to produce juice. Raisins are worst, since chemicals are stuck on tight with the drying process. Strawberries can be washed many times to get rid of chemicals, but not raisins.

My Mom grew broccoli in Michigan, she told me to buy frozen organic broccoli, since she knows how much pesticides she used for her broccoli garden. Trader's Joe sells frozen Organic Broccoli at cheap price. We use to buy that, until my kid turned 3 ... then we fed her regular broccoli, plus apple juice & raisins & dry blueberries. Drastic change in personality: she went from a happy toddler to a grumpy and angry 3-years old from poor sleep.

This past summer my kid ate tons of raisins: like 1 cup a day. She slept poorly, didn't fall asleep until 1 am, then woke up at 10 am, very grumpy. I'm switching from apple juice to orange juice, or making lemon juice from scratch.


What Are Some of the Symptoms That Can Occur From Pesticide Exposure? Poisoning by pesticides in humans has caused a myriad of short and long-term nervous system disturbances, including agitation, insomnia, muscle weakness, respiratory agitation, nervousness, irritability, forgetfulness, confusion and depression. In fact, some of the chemicals used in pesticides are actually nerve attacking poisons developed during World War Two.

Dirty dozen are: raisins & grapes, blueberries, strawberries, apple, peach, spinach, celery, potato, red-bell pepper, imported nectarine, cucumber, cherry tomato, imported snap peas, kale & collard greens, summer squash.

Clean 15 are: Avocado, sweet corn, pineapple, papaya, cabbage, frozen sweet peas, onions, asparagus, mango, kiwi, eggplant, grapefruit, cantaloupe, cauliflower, sweet potato.

Here is a link that might be useful: Pesticides: Stuttering, Autism, Parkinson's, and Alzheimer's

This post was edited by Strawberryhill on Fri, Oct 3, 14 at 9:55

    Bookmark   October 2, 2014 at 12:38PM
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