The hows and whats of potty training boys

noexcusesthistimeMarch 8, 2002

My son will be three in March, we are ready to try training again. For those who are past this or currently training boys, did you teach standing or sitting down? My son sits but I think for some reason he may be more "into" it if he could point and aim. Also, may be a silly question, but if they learn sitting, how/when do you transition to standing?? husband is not always around, but should he be the "main" trainer of my son? Looking forward to hearing back from other mommies (or daddies!) thanks!

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Well, he is at that age that he isn't going to be happy taking the time to go to the bathroom. If he is tall enough, just go ahead and teach him to stand. There is no point in teaching him to sit first. If he is almost tall enough, just a little platform or stool will help him. And it's more mommy's job than it is daddy's. Daddy is there to provide the example. You are there to see the process through.

You are right....that business of going like a "big boy" is very helpful. However, if you want to train him sitting, that's ok too. He will stand when he's ready. Standing is faster too, they don't like to take the time away from play to pull down the pants. They can just flip it over the waistband and aim in far less time.

Don't bother with those super absorbant pull ups. One of your best tools in the battle is the wet feeling that he will feel with regular underpants. Be consistant. Don't encouage him to use the toilet one day and then take him out shopping the next day and tell him it's alright to wet in his disposible undies.

Plan on staying close to home for about two weeks. It might take that long, but it will be time well spent in shortning the entire experience.

    Bookmark   March 8, 2002 at 6:48PM
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We have been working on this a lot more. It helped that we are home all day and I could keep him in his underwear and make him aware of when he's wet. He really does not like having pee run down his leg and does tend to run and find clean underwear. We bought many packs of toddler underwear with differnent characters and things on them and even plain solid color ones that he says are more like daddy's. He usually chooses colors or patterns he wants. (BTW~I bought two packs of Dinosaur and Bugs Life underwear for $1 each at the Dollar Tree last week! I want to go stock up on more because it's better to have a million pairs to keep changing into if there is an accident than not enough). Anyway, it's gotten to the point that after a few days when we are out in public he tells us he has to pee even with a diaper on. He really wants to be able to pee at other people's houses and to go to the restroom with Daddy at stores and restraunts so he's understanding all this.

We did the sit down on the potty chair thing and he didn't really enjoy that but did it once in a while for the past couple of months. Then we put the seat on the toilet and used a stool so he could get up there easier. He liked that more. But what's really gotten him into it is standing up. He wants to be like Daddy. We're getting excited to get out of diapers but know that he's going to do this when he's totally ready. We've been buying diapers for this long so it's no big deal but we're saving more by not needing them all the time this way.

Good luck and make sure you have plenty of paitience.


    Bookmark   March 10, 2002 at 10:43AM
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Well here's my take as the mother of 3 boys,
Take the time to have him sit!
You will never regret it.
They start the standing thing on their own, my older 2, started the standing sometimes, when they are in a hurry, and were tall enough to have "it" reach over the lip of the toilet, without steps.
My 10 year old will sometimes sit just to pee...
My 5 year old prefers everything quick, so he always stands for peeing.

They learn the standing by example...My husband always took the boys to the bathroom with him when ever they were around, so they got the idea, but as Momma, it's my job to make sure they understand that potty goes in the toilet, and the most accurate way to do that is for them to sit.
And from experience, I would encourge getting the pooping part down before the peeing. It's easy to pee outside of a diaper, but a lot "scarier" to poop for most kids.

My little one turned 2 in May, and will tell me when he's in the tub, if he needs to "poop". He will hop out of the tub. But at the moment, he thinks the potty chair is for when you are in the tub and have to go potty. :o)
He has days where he will bring me underwear instead of a diaper to get into for the day.

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 6:04PM
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Several thoughts about potty training - things I have learned from experience, reading and other mothers.

I strongly suggest you get boys in the habit of peeing sitting down. Here is my rule- when you are at someone's house, you pee sitting down. This is because little boys miss (as do big boys) and who wants to clean up my kid's mess. At public places, I prefer he stands. At home, he can do either one. But mostly my little three year old sits. He doesn't really have the coordination for the standing part yet. Although he does at times drag his stool over and try to do it standing.

At some point kids don't want to be compared to babies and don't want diapers. We really have not pushed the toilet training. The only thing we would do is talk about how diapers are yucky and poopy and baby (she's just a year now) wears a diaper. If we caught him pooping in his diaper, we'd stop him and put him on the toilet. This was just to get him to know the feeling of when he had to go.
Pretty soon, he'd start telling us he had to go. At that point we let him pick out a package of underwear and that is what he wore except for naps and night time.

One mother in our playgroup tried just setting a timer and every hour setting her son on the toilet. That seemed to work great.

Another mother I know tried the Potty Training in a Day system. It's more than a day. Recently I read that the average time to potty train a child is about 8-9 months.

I'd skip the pull ups. Everyone I know who has used them has had problems with the kids thinking they are diapers. It is more confusing to the kids I think. The day care workers I know say the same thing.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2002 at 9:45AM
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8 or 9 months --eeeek!! Thanks for the comments!! He is no closer unfortunately because when I ask him if he is a baby or a big boy, he says baby! I'm telling you this kid wants nothing to do with it and that is probably my whole problem - he is just not ready although all his little friends are trained. I was able to find some plastic pants so it would be cloth underwear with plastic pants on top. I am going to put them on him all weekend and make him feel the yuckiness of it without (hopefully) having to change his clothes five times a day. My other issue is that this child could walk around wet, messy and stinkin and just akeep on smilin.... All encouragement and ideas are welcome. Thanks!

    Bookmark   June 12, 2002 at 12:19PM
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Our situation is different. DS decided about 2 weeks ago that he wants to use the potty. I can get him to sit on the potty and use it about 5 times a day, but it has to be his idea. Asking if he needs to use the potty doesn't work. We use a rewards system for DS that if he poops in the potty he gets a sticker and a piece of candy. He also gets to call his grandparents and tell him he pooped in the potty. If he teetees, he gets to help mommy clean it up and flush the toilet and he gets a lot of praise. (To DS flushing and cleaning up is a reward.)

Since we started this potty training DS has wanted to run around nude. I've allowed it as long as he willingly sits on the potty when requested. If he doesn't, the pull-ups go back on. Whoever said that the pull-ups don't work is probably correct. DS has to use them at daycare so we also use them at home for consistancy.

We've had a couple of accidents, but it's usually when DS is doing his victory lap after going potty the first time and doesn't immediately realize he needs to go some more. I'm hoping that we can accoimplish this potty training thing in about 2 months. I don't think I can be cheerful about it for 8 or 9.

You say that your ds's friends are potty trained. Has he seen them go? That may be more of an encouragement to him if he did. Since DS is in daycare, he has a "group" type bathroom experience with the other kids. That is probably part of the reason that he is requesting to be trained at this time since he sees the other little kids going.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2002 at 2:04PM
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I've heard that boys can practice their aim by putting Cheerios in the toilet for target practice. I haven't tried it, DS(3) has no interest in the potty chair. I'd like to go the underwear route (we are moving next week so it would be a while), but I don't want to be cleaning pee out of the carpet and new couch.

    Bookmark   June 15, 2002 at 10:40PM
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Hmmmm, I've never had it take 8-9 months.
When they are ready...they do it..
end of story.
My first son potty trained at 18 months on his own desire..I really had nothing to do with it, other than having a potty chair in the bathroom. He's a very bright, early developed child, but....He didn't stop bed wetting until he turned 10.
My 2nd son, potty trained about 3 months before his 3rd birthday, but I pushed him a bit, because I had my third baby due a few weeks after his 3rd birthday. And when he decided to start using the potty, he worked on it for about a week, with a few accidents here and there. And after that..No need for night time protection either..Day and night trained all at once.

Now my last guy, I don't really care. He's decided that he likes diapers, but he likes to be nekkid too.
He's just barely 2, and we are busy right now and will be most of the whole summer...I will most likely "work" with him and "encourage" him more after school starts, and it's just him and I at home in the mornings.
They are all so different, and what works for one, doesn't work for the other...
No matter what it is..

    Bookmark   June 24, 2002 at 9:44AM
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