my 3 yr old daughter will not mind

wendolyn55March 22, 2006

Please help! My 3 year old daughter is going through a stage where you can tell her no and she acts as though she understands (and I do believe she does) and as soon as I turn my back she does it anyway, and is very sneaky about it. She gets into everything, again, sneaky. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if she wasn't drawn to the things that could ultimately hurt her.

We've tried time outs to no avail. We've tried spanking, but she would be getting one constantly throughout the day and that just won't do. Right now we are trying collecting smiley faces towards a reward.

She is just so different from my 10 year old. The 10 year old was content with the mention of discipline.

Any ideas that might work?

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DS#2 is almost 4 yo. He can be a challenge because he has some of those "sneaky" traits also. I get the most cooperation from putting favorite items in time out. DS didn't want to go to bed the other night so the Darth Vader cape went into time out where he didn't know where it was and he couldn't push up a chair to get it back. THe next night all I had to do was mention the timeout possibilites again and I got cooperation.

    Bookmark   March 22, 2006 at 4:50PM
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Adella's method also worked for me. I put the favorite toy of the day in the top of the closet. Then to connect the dots, I would say "Elmo is going in timeout in the closet because you did x y z". She would cry and cry.

After about two toy timeouts, the behavior would usually be nipped in the bud for the time being. It would usually crop up a few weeks later if another kid at preschool was doing the same thing she'd start again. We would repeat the toy timeout using whatever the current fave toy was.

(oddly, putting HER in age appropriate timeout - i.e. 1 minute for every year of age - never seemed to work with her).

    Bookmark   March 22, 2006 at 6:27PM
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Just wanted to say that this is a very common phase for kids this age. I always say that the 3's are way worse than the 2's because at 2, they are just curious and don't always get why they can't do things but at 3, they like to do it anyway just to push your buttons it seems!

Time outs work the best for us. It doesn't have to be for a long time either!

The one minute, per age thing isn't correct. You should actually have them sit there until they calm down and seem okay. Then you can reason with them and tell them why they were put there.

    Bookmark   March 24, 2006 at 8:08AM
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Why didn't I think of the toy time out? I have a 4yr. old girl. She usually...85% of the time is really good, but some a challenge and ends up in time out herself. I'm kind of a no nonsense kind of parent...there is a time for fun and a time to behave, she knows the difference. Time out for her works for as long as she is in it, as soon as she is out, the mouth comes in and lands her back in time out. Maybe next time I'll take "blankie" and put it in time out till she can hold the attitude & the mouth.

Thanks for the advice.... :)

    Bookmark   March 25, 2006 at 9:13PM
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My daughter will be 3 in September she is the most impossible child to get along with she is spoiled i believe and that is caused by my mother which makes it hard on me. Anyways i have tried everything to get her to listen to me and it doesnt work she is too smart so threats only last so long. She knew her ABC's by 2 and she knew her 1,2,3's by 1 1/2. I can't seem to do anything right by her even if something will hurt her or her 1 yr old sister i take it away she throws a hour and 1/2 fit. I am at my wits end. I have tried putting her in time out in 3 diffrent places, i have tried spanking no deal, smacking hand, threat with the belt (but never using it) tried locking myself in my room to ignore it, tried talking to her but kinda hard to do when she is screaming in my face or throwing herself on the ground trying to kick or hit me. I think i need nanny 911.....HELP!!!!!

    Bookmark   August 2, 2006 at 12:34AM
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Threats NEVER work with kids, ACTIONS work. Children of 3 are pretty stubborn, but #1 they are NOT smarter than the parent, and #2 they are not in charge, YOU are (You are the parent after all.

You tell the child to do something once (ONE command, not ..pick up your room, make your bed and get dressed, they won't "hear" all of that), and it has to be "fairly" simple, and the expectations on your part have to be fairly simple. Get dressed. When you're dressed we will have breakfast. Now follow through. Temper tantrum. So what, go on with your life, but NO BREAKFAST until she's dressed.

Do NOT hit your sister or you WILL sit on the naughty spot for 3 minutes. You hit your sister, you will now sit in the naughty spot for 3 minutes (and you keep putting her on it and re-starting the timer until she is on for 3 minutes), Yes the first 3-5 times will he hell, but it will get better when she realizes YOU are in charge, not her.


    Bookmark   August 4, 2006 at 8:24AM
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I can completely relate to you.. my 3 year old is sneaky, takes things off dressers and hides them, runs around at the speed of lightning counting on the fact that I cant chase him fast (due to being 7months pregnant), tells us No, does things after we tell him not to, hides and writes on the walls, even put his hand quickly in the toilet after having a bm and stuck his hand straight in his mouth... im so disturbed by his unabandoned ferrell behavior, its almost as if hes a stranger in our own home. He enjoys being outside andgoing out to play, but being pregnant in Florida in the heat of August and September, you basically will faint if outside to long, its awful, so I could see how some of his behavior is in part to our minimal time outside recently. Ive asked my mother to play with him outside when she keeps him, but she has No tolerance for my child, to the point that I dont allow him over there.

    Bookmark   October 10, 2013 at 12:16PM
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My daughter will be 4 in March and she will not mind us and she repeats everything at least 10 times. She is also sneaky and always does the things we tell her not to. It has became very overwhelming since we just had another baby 2 weeks ago. I have tried every punishment I can think of from time out and spanking to taking away her toys and the things she likes. I do not know what else to do. I thought maybe it was for attention so I have tried spending more time with her but nothing has changed any ideas on what I can do?

    Bookmark   February 8, 2014 at 11:27AM
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