not walking or talking 18months?? advice please!!

jackie-nickMarch 14, 2008

hi - my little boy 18months and not walking unaided. he walks with a walker or holding my hand but in the last few weeks seems to have gone backwards and all wobbly again. he is waiting to get some glasses for a glide so im not sure if that could be causing him to have balance problems - he is also not talking atall . not even mama dada . he makes lots of different noises and points when he wants something but no words in context - i have been to the health visitor who didnt seem concerned atall and ended up going to the doctors who said if the health visitor wasnt bothered then neither should i be!! my family and friends keep telling me he is fine (and APPARENTLY IN THEIR DAY THEY DIDNT HAVE SUCH MILESTONES KIDS WALKED AND TALKED WHEN THEY WERE READY!!)

other than all of above he is bright as a button and has had no episodes of fitting or vancant moments- he communicates very by pointing making noises and is very very lively all round. he seems to be very tantrumy at the moment too but i put that down to him being frustrated cos he cant talk or walk...


sorry for going on


Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I would be very concerned...I don't know what sort of training or credentials the health visitor has...nor even what a health visitor is...but you definitly have reason for concern.
I don't understand "glasses for a glide"...does he have vision problems?
And in their day....whatever that means, I am a grandmother of 7 the oldest is 22, we certainly did pay attention to walking and talking milestones.
How old was he when he sat alone? Does he feed himself? Does he babble in imitation when you babble at him?
Doe he have older siblings? Does he go to day care with other kids? Does he turn his head when you are behind him and call his name?
I think he needs to see another doctor or health care professional.
Linda C

    Bookmark   March 14, 2008 at 3:27PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

thanks for your reply - he has a squint or a glide in his eye and they tell me giving him glasses will make his eyes stronger and be able to focus properly- also known as a lazy eye.
yes he feeds himself and babbles all the time!!! makes lots of different sounds and noises.she shouts and whispers when we play games with him.
he shows alot of affection blows kisses and loves cuddling and kissing everyone he knows.
no he is my first and the doctor also said that could be thec reason for his late development.
yes he responds to his name and responds when you ask him to do something or pass you something. he goes to my mother in law who is a child minder and looks after 3 other children all older than him.
we are going to start him in a nursery in may in the hope that might bring him on more too.
a health visitor is like a pediatrician specialising in child development. i keep being told im worrying about nothing!!! ive no idea who to talk to next !!

    Bookmark   March 15, 2008 at 10:20AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Get his eyes taken care of... left alone for a number of years, lazy eye can cause blindness in one eye.
So, he seems to hear well....can he make different sounds if you work with him? You make a sound and ask him to do that?
Can he crawl really really well? Go fast like the wind?
First children usually develop earlier than later children because the mother has more time to spend with him.
Talk to your pediatrician. I don't believe a health visitor is a pediatrician. And ask the pediatrician to be referred to a child psycologist or a developmental specialist or a pediatric neurologist.
The sooner you can find out if there is a reason for his slowness, the less chance there will be of any lasting effects.
Linda C

    Bookmark   March 16, 2008 at 12:16AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

yes he has full conversations babbling i always feel bad because his little face is full of expression like he is really saying something important an i just dont understand bless him!!
he is really really quick crawling but again started that later than expected. he is rapid now tho and spins on his knees dances to music and all sorts but just cant seem to get the confidence to walk alone - he even runs with his baby walker but not on his own - his eye test is tomorrow for his glasses so we will see if that makes any difference although ive no idea how on earth we will keep glasses on him!!! il keep you posted!! thanks so much for your advice

    Bookmark   March 16, 2008 at 7:27AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm with Linda -- Time to get another opinion from another health visitor. Call your local school (I know he's too young) and ask about something called 'Early Intervention'. I believe it's a federally mandated program designed to find kids who are developing slowly as early as possible and get them back up to speed. If you spend a lot of time with him, he'd more likely be ahead than behind, an a little targeted therapy now will be much more effective than waiting.

If the 'health visitor' you already had is from early intervention and it's just a matter of different places using different names for the same thing, then tell the person you talk to that you're not comfortable with the original visitor's conclusions, and that your 18-month old is not walking independently and can't say 'mama' or 'dada'. While there are some very positive things he is doing, those are 'biggies', and the wandering eye can be significant as well.

Listen to your gut and be pushy, if needed.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 7:44PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Just to put my concerns into perspective - everyone I consulted told me my son was 'fine' and 'just laid back' and was 'on his own schedule' and that I 'shouldn't compare him to his brother' and that 'his brother is doing all of the talking for him'. When I finally got determined enough to INSIST ON a referral to a specialist, (over the pediatrician's objections) and waited for several months to actually get to the appointment, my son was more than a year behind in several core areas. As it happens, he has multiple mild-moderate disabilities and earlier intervention would have been very helpful and thousands of dollars less expensive.

What I'm saying is simple: If YOU think there is a problem, refuse to take 'no' for an answer. There is nobody on this earth who knows your child better than you do, and no one who cares about him more.

This is hard to believe, but in medical school, most pediatricians receive only minimal training in 'normal child development'. They're focused on illnesses -- not developmental delays or milestones. They receive more training in how to placate a worried mother than they do in how to spot a developmental delay.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 7:53PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

thanks for all your replies im certainly going to start pushing for further investigation now.
its easy to get walked on i guess when you are talking to people who are supposed to be professionals and your made to feel like an over keen mother especially as he is my first! he has been given a mild prescription for glasses but they dont think that will help the glide so he has been ref'd to consultant about his eyes. thats something i guess!! i have asked about his speech and they reluctantly ref'd him for speech therapy but was also told that the waiting list was so long that his talking will probably be fine by the time i get an appointment!!i'll keep going with it and let you all know!!! thanks for all your advice

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 10:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

just another note - what could the lack of speech be a sign of ? i know he is hearing fine could it mean a speech problem or something more serious? also with the walking. it cant be a pysical problem because he is walking well with his walker it seems more a lack of balance that he struggles with - he has started walking about 10 or so steps unaided now too which has made me feel much better maybe he was just taking his time but we'll see!!!
jaclyn xx

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 10:50PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

He may have some sort of neuro musculature thing going on....he may not be able to physically make hus mouth form the words...and that may also have something to do with his balance, and that may also relate to his eyes...the muscles are not keeping his eyes focused and allowing them to work together.
As you say, it seems he understands and knows what you are saying and what he wants to say, but can't gt it out, and he gets around but can'ts tand on his 2 feet without wobbeling.
Better to have him seen by a developmental specialist when there is really nothing wrong than to not have him seen and delay treatment is there is something wrong.
Keep us posted...we care about all the kids.
Lidna C

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 12:09AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

i really appreciate you talking thanks so much - i chased up the speech therapy today only to be told he had not been refered!! i am pushing for developmental specialist now but they are reluctant to do it until he is two for some reason - his next standard development check is at 2 years so they want to wait til then - im not taking no for an answer !! il keep you posted - thanks !!! jaclyn

    Bookmark   March 18, 2008 at 6:21PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

just an update - we are waiting for a date for speech therapy but could be a few months and they have now agreed to bring his 2 year development check forward and the heath visitor is coming in 2 weeks to evaluate his progress. although im sure they think im mad i dont care and made it clear i wanted something done! at least the wheels are in motion now so i feel better for that at least .
thanks for your interest and il keep you updated!!!!

    Bookmark   March 19, 2008 at 6:37PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

That's so good to hear Jacklyn --
There are so many different ways things can go wrong that IMO, it's a miracle more children don't have more disabilities. Sadly, it is not normal for a healthy child to not walk unaided by 18 months. That's not to say the problem might not be minor - self-correcting even. But you are absolutely correct to be insisting -- don't let them placate you into backing down.

Are you in the U.S.? I'm not familiar with some of the terms you're using, such as 'glide'. I know health systems vary by country...

    Bookmark   March 19, 2008 at 11:29PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

no im in manchester england.
i think by the sounds of it the us seem to be a bit more proactive than us!!
my health visitor didnt even know what the next step of intervention was when i told her i wanted it to be investigated!! not very comforting but il keep pushing!!
im just grateful for the advice and interest from everyone its really helped me because even my family think im being silly!!
my husband has come round to the idea that there maybe a problem at least so i have support there..

    Bookmark   March 20, 2008 at 12:45AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

just an update so far...... my little man has found his feet and walking most of the time now... he has been refered for his speech and awaiting an appointment and also started nursery 2 days a week which he HATES but i know it will be good for him in the long run he has only been 2 days so far so im hoping he will settle in soon-
ive discussed my concerns with the heath visitor and she is taking me seriously now. he had his development check brought forward and scored very high on all areas apart from speech of course!! im really proud of him and im sure his speech will come on but glad its being looked into anyway. just a note to say thanks for all your advise and interest and il keep you all updated!!
love jaclyn and nicholas xxx

    Bookmark   April 5, 2008 at 12:18AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks for the update....hope all continues to go swimmingly!!
Keep us updated....
Linda c

    Bookmark   April 5, 2008 at 5:07PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I love good news!
Please let us know how he does --

    Bookmark   April 7, 2008 at 4:59PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I am glad to hear he is walking now. It is nice you checked into the speech, and can follow it. There are some really great services out there for speech. I work in a school district, and so many need that extra boost to get their speech rolling along. Hope it has improve since your last post. Just keep talking to him!!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2008 at 8:50PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Glad to hear things are going well. School districts provide many services that can be helpful. The best part of getting your son assessed is that they make huge progress at this age.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2008 at 9:18PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
she is too demanding
First, my mom never hits me. My brother and I got into...
babysitting rates
I have one 17 month old son. Generally, What are the...
4 year old won't potty train
My four year old son refuses to be potty trained. Any...
Goodnight Moon cloth book
Hello A friend of mine has a cloth book with characters...
3 yr old started stuttering
I am the grandmother of a darling 3 yr old little girl....
Sponsored Products
Black Metal Chest - B48-07
$556.67 | Hayneedle
3-Piece Breakfast Pub Set - White / Marble - D1022
$198.00 | Hayneedle
'Trust in the Lord' Horses Framed Wall Art
$28.99 | zulily
'Be Still' Exodus Box Sign
$8.99 | zulily
5' Red Cedar Classic Fanback Glider
Kitchen Storage Cart - White - R1020
$135.00 | Hayneedle
WBM Himalayan Lamps Ionic Crystal Sun Globe Salt Lamp (8-10lbs) 1451
$32.22 | Home Depot
'Be Brave' Bear Box Sign
$7.49 | zulily
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™