not talking yet 20 month old

momof3RIJanuary 16, 2002


My 20 month old is STILL NOT TALKING! My two daughters were also very late and can read like champs now so that is not my problem with him is he pulls us to whatever he wants and he gets it. I tried to turn the other way and try and force him to ask for what he wants but by me walking away, it only sends him into a fit of rage because he does not get it. Because he does not talk, I do not know what he wants and therefore I spend my time very frustrated and angry with him....any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!!

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One of my kids was a late talker. You can't force a child to talk if they don't have that ability yet, so walking away and trying to make him ask for what he wants is bound to just frustrate both you and him if he really can't ask for it. With my daughter, I taught her to point to things she wanted. It took some time for her to learn to point to what she wanted but with patience she did learn and it made things easier. I also taught her some simple sign language to help her communicate- she would tap her mouth when she was hungry, stuff like that. Good Luck!

    Bookmark   January 16, 2002 at 5:03PM
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He is only 20 months old. Most kids don't really talk until they are 2 and then it progresses as they get older. His taking you to the thing is his way of communicating and you'll have to deal with it until he's more verbal. What did you do when he was a baby? This is better than having no clue, right?

Also, if your daughters are very outspoken, he may not feel he needs to talk. My fiance' had 2 older brothers and his mother said never talked to her or anyone else. He would tell his one older brother what he wanted and then Chris would tell their mother. I also read that the youngest child will be quieter and learn to listen more because they're used to the older ones being in control. Nothing sounds out of the order with your son. Give him time.


    Bookmark   January 16, 2002 at 5:38PM
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Most kids do say something at 20 months. Many kids only say a few words, but NO WORDS at 20 months sounds unusual to me. My kids were all over the place with language development (10 mo, 15 mo, 18 mo). If your child says a few words I would not worry yet. But if he says NOTHING at 20 months I would have him evaluated by the pediatrician. If he has a speech problem it is best dealt with early. If not, you will know for sure.

I agree with the other posters though about trying to force him to talk if he does not have the ability. Asking him to talk when he has not developed the capability is almost the same as asking him to fly. No matter how hard he tries he just can't do it.


    Bookmark   January 17, 2002 at 11:13AM
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Could he be talking but he's not heard? Sometimes a child says something to the best of they're ability but it's NOT exactly how you say the word. Like our son couldn't say chicken, he called it boc-boc. They're are still words~new words that I can't understand until I really pay attention to what else he's saying. Like he kept saying Mama (grandma) and something. Then he'd say about a red car, etc. I finally realized that weird sound he was making was Sally! He was saying Grandma Sally's red car~because his grandma was coming to pick us up. Shane's 2 1/2 and can say a lot of words quiet clearly but there are some sounds kids can't say until they are much older.

Ask your daughters if he's talking to them. Maybe he's just quiet around you guys like my fiance' was with his mother? I do believe when you go for his 2 yr check up they will ask how many words he's saying. If he's really not talking, they will suggest a hearing test to see if that's the problem. We were told about this when DS was tested at 9 months as a follow-up because he was a premie. Never had to go for the other hearing test. The kid can hear you whisper from another room! He can hear AOL say "good-bye" when I have the volume turned down low and he comes running to play his Mickey game! Good luck to you!


    Bookmark   January 17, 2002 at 3:27PM
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Buy a book and learn to "sign"..... it will help you understand each other until your child does talk.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2002 at 6:56PM
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You may want to have his hearing evaluated to be sure it is not a physical problem. Try sitting with him and teaching him to make sounds like a game. Animal noises or just single letter sounds. I have friends with 2 year olds who don't talk much because older sibs get what they want for them and they don't have to talk much. Also, talk a lot to him. Explain everything to him. This is your spoon, spaghetti, etc. That way he will learn what things are even if he can't say them yet.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2002 at 12:23PM
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If you want to know if it's an issue or not. You can get him evaluted for free. ..Call your county health department, and ask for a Early Childhood Development Screener.
Or ask your doctors office.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2002 at 12:28PM
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My son is also my 3rd...with 2 older sisters. and like yours,he's 20 mo old and says, hiya! mama! and soemthing that means spongebob or blues clues or bottle (depending on the situation).

Our pediatrician told me a few things. First, don't worry. boys are slower at these things than girls. He also said that 2+ isn't unusual.

The other thing he said was, check and see if he can hear, and if he understands. if you tell him to stop, does he stop? if you ask him to p/u the bottle, does he choose the bottle? those kinds of things.

My DS just doesn't want to talk. life would be easier if he would but he doesn't. I was kind of freaked out for a while (older sister has special needs), but he's ok.

and like leslie said, why talk if you have two chatterboxes to do the work for yoU? LOL!

    Bookmark   June 15, 2002 at 4:36PM
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I am in a similar situation. I have a 3 1/2 yoa DD that spoke relatively early and has a great vocabulary. I also have a 18 month old that points and says "Uh" and of course gets what he wants. I spoke to my pediatrician and said that boys are slower to speak and that having an older sibling confuses a child. When the older sibling speaks in sentences and the younger one is trying for one word. He does say mama, dada, papa and baby. The Dr. told us to spend some one on one time with him and just repeat words over and over. When he does point to something and when you get it for him repeat the word a couple of times. "Juice, juice, juice" I don't think we are getting anywhere fast but I do believe he will come around soon.

    Bookmark   June 17, 2002 at 11:47AM
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We had this same problem with my middle son. We talked with our pediatrician about our concerns and she had him evaluated. He tested normal and above average in every area except speech. So we watched him carefully and had him reevaluated every 6 months. He started talking at about 2 1/2 but then started regressing in his speech. We relized that he was embarassed. When he would talk he would say the funniest things and we would laugh. He thought we were making fun of him. We were'nt. He is just funny. It took him a while to start talking and we constantly encouraged him. At 3 we started speech therapy. The speech therapy helped us just as much as it helped him. We learned wonderful ways to help him communicate and to communicate with him. EX: My husband and I became a lot more verbal. If our son would not say a word we would. If he would point at a cup we would say "you want the CUP." or his bear " You want your BEAR". It made a huge difference. Soon he started to try and say the words. When he would say a word incorectly we would not scould him we would just reiterate what the correct pronunciation was. If he said "uck" instead of "truck" we would say "You want the T-T-T-Trrruck." For a long time he would say "C-C-C-Car" (it was cute)but eventually he grew out of it. Now he talks all the time. His teachers always complain that he talks too much in class. I just explain this is a wonderful problem to have. I am glad that his pediatrician was agressive with his evaluations. Speech problems can be a sign of greater problems and it is better to know sooner than later. I know that our son would not be able to speak nearly as clearly if this had waited until it was a BIG problem. If your pediatrician does'nt seem concerned explain that you are and you want an evaluation done. If they still won't do it get a second, third, fourth opion(if you have to). It can be frustrating to not be able to communicate as well as you would like but as they say "this to shall pass". Good Luck! Keep us informed as to what happens.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2002 at 12:54AM
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my nephew is almost 3 years old. He actually doesn't started talking. He tells few words by himeself.He tells 'go' 'bye' etc. He is always playful and running here and there. Doesn't converse or doesn't listen to what we speak. He is not concentrating or listening to other. He enjoys playing lot.
He speaks few words by himself. But we ask he doen't reply. he just walks away. He watches TV.No problem. pediatrician checked and found no problem with him.

    Bookmark   May 16, 2006 at 2:12PM
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Delayed speech is a sign of autism, which seems to becoming more and more prevalant in the US...
The earlier it is treated the better the outcome...
My grandson is autistic and I know others who are...Pediatricians don't often catch the problem early enough.
Read about autism. Read some of the other signs....learn and then bring what you have learned to the attention of your pediatrician.
But, please....if your child has delayed speech, don't assume he will catch up in time.....get the problem checked.....and watch for other signs like ignoring other people, walking on tip toes, repetitive behavior, self abusive behavior, like head banging or hand biting.
Early therapy can insure a better outcome.
Linda C

Here is a link that might be useful: Autism signs

    Bookmark   May 20, 2006 at 2:52PM
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