Co-Bedding ?

Brooklyn_GirlMay 2, 2002

Can someone explain the theory behind this? and when did you transition the baby to her/his own crib or bed.

Also what has been your experience with the transition. I am aso wondering if anyone co-bedded and then changed their mind early on?

Hope this is not an angry debate I am causing.

I just want information.


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I never did with either of my children. I had heard horror stories of later years of trying to get them out of bed. My DD now 3 1/2 gets to take naps on the weekend in my bed but I am not usually with her. When my son was born about 1 1/2 years we had problems with her coming into our bed in the middle of the night which we had to curb before it got to be a big deal. My DS is still in a crib so that hasn't been an issue yet. I would not recommend co-sleeping only because I don't want to deal with the hassels later on. My choice, my reasons.

    Bookmark   May 16, 2002 at 10:51AM
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I never did it mainly because I'm pretty fierce about the idea of needing a good night's sleep, and babies are big wigglers and grunters.

do a web search on "family bed" and "co-sleeping"--you'll find tons.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2003 at 3:52PM
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Many people co-sleep; many new mothers who breastfeed actually sleep better because they don't need to get up and walk to the nursery (or the other side of the room) to nurse their child. Some people believe it has excellent psychological benefits for your child, as well as reducing SIDS risk. Check out this link for more information!

Here is a link that might be useful: Dr. Sears on co-sleeping

    Bookmark   March 3, 2003 at 4:10PM
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I think I am the one who squirms too much! I think having a bassinette in the room will work fine for me. My mom works in a hospital, and one night while covering ER two different couples came in in the same evening with babies who had been suffocated. To me, it just wouldn't be worth the potential risk.

    Bookmark   March 4, 2003 at 8:03PM
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My husband and I co-bed with our 7-month old son and have been doing since he was born. Initially we bought a co-sleeper which is basically an enclosed mattress which we could place between our pillow. After the first two months he outgrew it but it was useful while it worked.

After that we decided that we wanted to continue co-bedding but the bed was not big enough for the three of us to be comfortable so we moved to the baby's room, bought two big queen size mattresses placed side by side and use it till now.
We all have plenty of space and when we are ready for it my husband and I will move out of the baby's room ( we figured it would be easier for US to move out but probably wont for another month or two).

I have to say that I love the cobedding experience. To be able to watch my son sleeping all cuddled up with the most peaceful expression is priceless. I especially enjoy watching him just before he wakes up in the morning as he gradually gets conscious of his surroundings.
Without going into the scietific reasons why one should or should'nt co-bed for me the bonding experience is the best part of motherhood.

I have to say that I was initially worried about the suffocation aspect but I have since realised that my sleeping patterns have changed a lot since my son was born
and I am so tuned to his sleep mode that I wake up everytime he stirs.


    Bookmark   March 12, 2003 at 12:59PM
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A friend left their daugther sleep with them and now they can't get her to sleep in her own bed. Not a big deal except when she stays with her grandparents. They don't want her in bed with them, and she won't sleep if she's not!

    Bookmark   March 12, 2003 at 3:21PM
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My sister's daughter is ***13*** and STILL sleeps with her. Sis thinks nothing is wrong with this. I think it is very very wierd.

    Bookmark   March 27, 2003 at 5:41PM
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We do it. We have done it with all four of ours and have nevr had a problem transitioning them to cribs in their own rooms once they started sleeping through the night. Our fourth one is 2 1/2 months old now, he nurses a lot during the night and this way I get so much more sleep, not having to haul him in and out of a different bed. As with his sister and brothers, he will move to his crib (where he takes naps now during the day) once he doesn't need to wake up and nurse anymore, with the others it was between 5 and 8 months. I am a big fan of Dr Sears. I am also a long-term nurser. I cannot imagine not waking every time he makes a peep--- your sleep patterns are so different once you have one. Our oldest was 8 weeks old when we foirst tried this-- and I was just so fatigued and going nuts from lack of sleep until we tried this. We use a very firm mattress, no pillows or heavy quilts near the baby, and he sleeps on his back, always either between my husband and me or between me and the bedside rail, depending on which side he is nursing on, and of course never drink or ise and drugs.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2003 at 9:43PM
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I semi-co-sleep with my son 3 years he sleeps in a crib that side car's the bed and I do co-sleep with my 3 month old. It is so much easier because she is breastfeeding. I don't have to get up It is an easier transition. She sleeps throughout the night only waking once to eat.
Co-sleeping isn't for everyone but It is for us and we definatly enjoy the benefits of it.

Mommie to Alexander 3 and Lillianne 3mo

    Bookmark   July 8, 2003 at 5:20PM
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We did this with our son and had an awful time getting him to sleep on his own. He is 6 now, and still tries to sleep in our bed!!! I don't want to go through that again. We just had a baby and she sleeps in a cradle in our room and that works out just fine. She is only 3 1/2 months old and has been sleeping through the night for over a month now.

    Bookmark   July 22, 2003 at 7:54AM
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Co-bedding, while it is a nice thought can be very dangerous for a newborn. I work in an NICU and have seen three babies die because they were accidently smothered by co-bedding mothers. The little ones just don't have the capacity to move away if they snuggle too close to parents and the parents actually in sleep move too close to their baby. It's tragic when this happens.

    Bookmark   November 20, 2003 at 3:05PM
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Don't you have to get up anyway to change diapers when you nurse during the night? THey'll need changed anyway, so you're still getting up in the middle of the night. And if all they're doing is rooting or moving around but not waking to feed, who needs to be awakened more than necessary? Not me!

    Bookmark   November 22, 2003 at 11:58AM
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Phyllis - With modern disposable diapers, babies don't always need to be changed during the night. At the hospital (he was in 3 weeks), they always changed him every three hours - but the nurses said not to disturb him that often once home. We soon learned that if we changed our son's diaper, he would be up for an hour or more. However, if I just nursed him he would be right back to sleep! He was never terribly wet in the early morning (he wakes with the roosters!) so we quit changing him through the night. Sure, if he is #2, change him. ~ Suzie

    Bookmark   November 23, 2003 at 10:56AM
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Co-beeding accidents are almost unheard of unless a parent has been drinking or using drugs. A followup from my last post here: My youngest has now transitioned to his own crib in his own room, very easily. When he started sleeping through the night and there was no more middle-of-the-night nursing, we just started putting him to bed in his crib (where he was used to napping anyway) and that was that. Not a difficult trasition at all. I feel that if a parent has ANY doubt that she would wake up if she rolled onto the baby, she should not co-sleep. But most cultures besides ours co-sleep all the time. I think it is a very natural thing and would do it in a heartbeat again if we were to have another baby. But I am finished with having babies since we have four and our family feels complete! Back to the co-bedding, see my earlier post for the "rules" about SIDS-- baby on his/her back, no fluffy comforters or heavy blankets, no pillows anywhere near the baby, firm mattress, no drinking/drug use (including but not limited to legal stuff like nyquil and tylenol PM, put the baby between you and an infant-safe siderail, etc.

    Bookmark   November 25, 2003 at 8:54PM
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Roses, I try to change my son after a major feeding - he has wet through twice a night for two nights already and we just brought him home from the hospital Wednesday! I find the newborn diapers fit him/hold everything in as long as I don't wait too long. And since he's breastfed his poops don't stink. Once I nurse him and rock him for a few minutes, he usually goes back to sleep.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2003 at 11:31PM
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It seems like newborn diapers always leak in the beginning no matter what size you use or how often you change them. I think the babies just have to grow some fat on their little bottoms so the diapers fit correctly. After the babies get through this first stage, the diapers rarely leak.

It may also be that it's time to move up the next size diaper at least during the night. The weights on the package aren't exact.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2003 at 1:35PM
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Skatiero if co-bedding is almost unheard of, how come I have had to support three mothers whose babies were accidently smothered. I am just one nurse and granted I have looked after thousands of babies in my lifetime but it is these babies that I remember with a breaking heart. None of these mothers were on drugs or alcohol, they just snuggled too close to their babies in their sleep.

    Bookmark   December 3, 2003 at 8:47PM
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I let my little tubby one co-sleep until he was sleeping all night (his bed was upstairs from mine). That was around 3 months. Then he started to sleep upstairs for a while. Now he only co-sleeps with us when his Daddy is out of town or when he wakes up in the morning and we want a couple more hours sleep (Daddy loves the two hour cuddle before work). We have had no problems with our little one so far and he is 5 months old.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2004 at 12:20PM
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I thought co-sleeping sounded cute, so I tried it...for about 5 minutes. I don't understand how this is practical.

She wiggled so much and grunted and made LOTS of baby noises and I couldn't possibly fall asleep wondering if I was too close, too far, were the blankets over her, where were the pillows, etc.

As far as breastfeeding goes (yup were still breastfeeding happily at one year) I got up to feed her about every 2-3 hours and fed her in a rocking chair. Virtually every feeding is accompanied by a lovely mustard yellow afterward in the diaper so you HAVE to get up to change the diaper anyway. Also the baby usually needs a burp after every feeding, so you HAVE to get up anyway.

At four months our daughter moved to a crib in her room and has been sleeping there since, quite happily. I guess you all have your reasons for sharing the bed but I couldn't see much practicality. Just my two cents.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2004 at 7:17PM
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There is no "theory" behind it. Most mothers in the world today and throughout history have co-slept. I'm not trying to go all earthy-crunchy multicultural on you; it's just a simple fact. Yes, I believe some mothers smother their babies. It's hard for me to imagine as I sleep so differently now. I suspect in these cases something out of the ordinary is going on, like sleep apnea or even drug/alcohol abuse. But there is also much lower incidence of SIDS among co-sleeping mothers.

I loved sleeping with my baby in my arms. In the beginning, it also made getting a decent night's rest much easier because I half woke up as soon as he started wiggling and rooting. Once you get the hang of nursing lying down, you just get the kid latched and go back to sleep! As opposed to letting him get to the point of crying, and then waking up, getting out of bed, and getting him. At which point, both of us are UP. All that said, once he hit about 5 months old, I realized neither of us was sleeping as well together as we would apart. Now, at 6 months, he sleeps through the night in the crib, and I only bring him into the bed if he wants to nurse very early in the morning.

There are always going to be some kids who don't want to give up sleeping with Mommy and Daddy, just like some kids won't give up pacifier/thumb-sucking, or breastfeeding, or even diapers until way beyond the age most people consider normal. Does this suggest that you should withold pacifiers or nursing from infants? Of course not.

    Bookmark   January 5, 2005 at 3:37AM
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And most mothers in the world today and throughout history have not used carseats. That does not necessarily make it right or better.

    Bookmark   January 11, 2005 at 3:39PM
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I never said that makes it right or better. Believe me, I'm the last person to buy the "people have done X for hundreds of years" argument to justify anything. You should hear some of the silly things my mother tries to get me to do using that argument.

I just pointed out that there isn't a "Theory of Co-Sleeping". It's just what comes naturally to most families (if your perspective is historic and global). And, based on medical evidence, my understanding is that the incidence of SIDS is lower among co-sleeping infants.

    Bookmark   January 14, 2005 at 1:07AM
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I am a first time mother of girl/boy twins and they are 4 weeks old today, they have been in their seperate cribs since day one and it has worked fine for us. My brother-in-law is going through hell with his 2 yr old who wakes up at 1 or 2 am and will not go back to sleep unless its in their bed. As far as I can tell...the best thing is not to start bringing them into your bed to begin with.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2005 at 10:45AM
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Intially the idea of co-sleeping appealed to me, but after considering my husbands sleep habits, I HAD to change my mind. He has sleep apnea, and does not wake up easily, it would be unsafe. Our daughter slept in her crib until age 3 when we bought her a bed. She never tried to get out of her crib, so we just kept her in there until recently. We bought her a bed, and she stays in the bed all night, and then wakes us up in the morning. When I put her to sleep, I just say goodnight, and close the door, that's it! It's great!

Our good friends co-slept from day one, and now they have a 2 1/2 year old son who has his own bed, but one of his parents has to lay down with him until he falls asleep (which sometimes takes an HOUR), and then a few hours later he always comes into their room to sleep for the rest of the night. Doesn't sound like much fun to me. Took them forever to get him into the bed too....

    Bookmark   August 31, 2005 at 10:24AM
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I slept in the same bed as my parents 'till I was 9 years old. There were economic reasons, not much green stuff around; there were two bedrooms and one was a storage room; safety--it was a semi-ghetto and that bedroom was closer to the front.
It was jammed to the very hold!

    Bookmark   January 15, 2006 at 10:58AM
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I slept in the same bed as my parents 'till I was 9 years old. There were economic reasons, not much green stuff around; there were two bedrooms and one was a storage room; safety--it was a semi-ghetto and that bedroom was closer to the front.
It was jammed to the very hold!

    Bookmark   January 15, 2006 at 11:02AM
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Not a good idea actually.

  1. baby can get the habit of co-bedding
    2. chances of getting baby getting hurt in sleep
    3. relationship between husband and wife can be spoiled.
    Bookmark   June 5, 2013 at 9:29AM
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