Are you a different parent than you expected to be?

ZenaApril 13, 2003

Hi everyone,

I just wondered about your thoughts on this subject: Have you turned out to be a different kind of parent than you expected/hoped/feared before you had your first child? Or are you pretty much as you expected/hoped/feared you'd be?

For example, some friends of ours said that they have turned out to be worse at disciplining their child than they expected or hoped to be. They sometimes find themselves just doing what will make life easier at the time, even if they realise that it's not a good idea in the long term...

Thanks!

Zena.

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trekaren

Somewhat different I suppose.

Prior to having kids, DH and I always talked about when we would have them. "Oh, we'll NEVER be the type of parents who let our child play us against each other! And we will ALWAYS support each other in front of the child, and do our disagreeing out of their earshot."

HA! Best laid plans! LOL But we try our best...and despite our best efforts, she still manages to figure out a way to play us against each other.

    Bookmark   April 14, 2003 at 2:21PM
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talley_sue_nyc

mine aren't infants anymore. I behaved much as I expected I would when they were babies and toddlers. Now that they're 9 and 5, I'm WAY crabbier than I was.

And like your friends, I find that my DH and I do whatever is expedient, in terms of discipline, and teaching them to unpack their own backpacks, set the table, etc.

And I'm far less even-tempered. : (

    Bookmark   October 15, 2003 at 5:53PM
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Zena

My baby is now three months old. I'm already a very different parent than I expected to be! I thought I would remain much more emotionally calm than I usually do. I'm getting better, but our baby can be so much more frustrating than I had anticipated. My sisters' babies are so easygoing and relaxed, I suppose I expected our baby to be like them. But no!! 'Relaxed' is the last word you could use to describe our Ben! He is an intense little guy and we have to work very, very hard to get him to relax and (eventually, if we're lucky) fall asleep. My sisters' babies would fall asleep after gazing at a mobile for a while....

I've learnt that babies come into this world with much stronger preferences than I thought! Ben's strongest preference is for lots and lots of cuddles all the time, which is both incredibly difficult and an incredible pleasure. I've attached a link to some pictures of our little bundle of trouble and joy!

Here is a link that might be useful: Pictures of Ben

    Bookmark   October 17, 2003 at 11:44AM
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skatiero

Ben is a beautiful child, Zena! I have one (of my four) whi is just like that-- intense. She is four now (my others are 6, almost 3, and 8 months) and she is still very intense and curious and self-sufficient and creative and is very engaging, imaginative, and sweet as can be. The best thing we found for her was a front-pack and sling. Carrying her around all day made her the pleasantest baby-- so content! She just wanted to be cuddled constantly and also to be able to look around and see everything and be involved in everything!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2003 at 11:20PM
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cheshiremoggy

When I became a father 6 years ago it really gave me something to live for. Discipline has been tricky at times as the wee lad has turned out to be autistic and still tends to throw tantrums akin to the 'terrible twos' but with the correct approach it is manageable.

He's a chip off the old block. Loves helping me with DIY - he has his own toy tools. He has a soft spot for the cats, and is becoming a real petrolhead coming with me to watch rallies run by the local motorclub. I just can't imagine existing without him.

    Bookmark   May 27, 2004 at 9:12PM
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talley_sue_nyc

OMG, this is funny. I picked up this thread, since it had bumped up to the top again, thinking, "I'm going to post, 'I'm a lot crabbier than I thought I'd be."

And there I am almost exactly a year ago (Oct 15, '03) saying EXACTLY the same thing.

    Bookmark   October 5, 2004 at 12:46PM
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