Anyone's first pregnancy over 40?

goodtastenomoneyJanuary 9, 2004

Hello, I have always wanted children and have just been married for the first time. Does anyone have any thoughts/experience with trying to conceive and pregnancy over 40?' Thank you!

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My mother-in-law was 47 when my husband was born, and they had a wonderful relationship. He has older siblings as well. But my oldest son's best friend (they are both six) is an only child. Her mother was 42 when she gave birth, 41 when she got pregnant for the first and only time. And they did not use any fertility treatments. I was 24, and though I think I had more energy (and still do, on baby number four) this little girl and her parents have a fabulous relationship, and they are very glad they waited until they did to have her. At the preschool where I teach 2-year-olds, we have three moms out of the 12 who are over forty, and only one under thirty. I think mid-to-late 30's is getting to be the average these days. Good luck! It's wonderful!

    Bookmark   February 14, 2004 at 10:30PM
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Yes, I had my 4th child at age 42 after 16 years. It was a surprise. I did not really have complications. He is 12 years old now and the joy of my life. I am 54. I have 2 grandchildren that are older than him and 3 younger than him.


    Bookmark   November 4, 2004 at 8:22AM
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Just a quick follow up as this board hardly moves!! I am expecting in 5 more weeks- a boy, very exciting, but I can say I now know why people do not wait until they are this old to have a kid. Very physically hard! Wish me luck....

    Bookmark   November 6, 2004 at 6:49PM
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Wow, just lurking and wanted to say a BIG congratulations.

My oldest is 23 (yrs) and my youngest are 2 yrs (twins). And, yes I too am over 40.

Exhausting, but the best thing that ever happened to me.

Get ready for the most wonderful ride of your life.

Seems, you too are a blessed gal.

And, oh yeah, get lots of sleep now while you can :)


    Bookmark   November 8, 2004 at 3:30PM
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Baby boy was born in good health one month early. Sweet little peanut 4 days old today. Good reason for us to be very Thankful this Thanksgiving.

    Bookmark   November 22, 2004 at 7:09AM
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TOTAL BABY ADVOCATE!! I was 39 when my daughter was born. She is healthy (except for confounded daycare issues)and, 6 months later, I am close to my pre-pregnancy size. She is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received and am SO THANKFUL that I was entrusted with her - even at an older age. I realize now that I would not have been the best parent when I was younger. Caring for a baby necessitates close to 100% selflessness. I am more patient, more kind and far more in awe of her beauty than I might have been while I was younger. My husband is 42 and we both waited a long time for our 1st child. She is well worth it. If you can have a child, please do. You will never regret it. If nature doesn't permit a pregnancy, then please adopt. Children change your life for the better in so many ways and there are lots of babies deserving to be loved.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2006 at 2:37PM
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First of all congratulations! And congrats to anyone who has had a wonderful experience being a mom over 40 (or close to it).

As a younger mom (under 30) I just want the older moms to be aware that sometimes it feels that you are looking down on us younger ones. Especially since becoming pregnant later in life has now become more of the "norm". Personally I am very glad to be having my children while I am younger, but I have no hard feelings towards anyone who chooses to have babies later in life. Just extend the same curtosity to us younger moms, because you guys can be a bit intimidating sometimes. We should all be supporting each other as women and moms, but at times I feel like it's younger against older... anyone else think so?

    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 11:14AM
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I don't think its about younger vs older, I think it's about motherhood as one. I had my 1st son at 17, my 2nd son at 20....raised them and went to school. I was done...then along came my daughter at 41. Suprised? You bet I was! Scared? Yep that too...and I even told her Ped. Dr.....I really don't know that I can do this...her Dr. gave me a hug and said, "Yes you can, you are her mother, there are 1st time mothers older than you, you love her or you wouldn't be here. Call me any time you doubt yourself." Needless to say, I've never doubted myself and I've never had to call her. I feel I'm a better mother than when my boys arrived. My energy level is lower sometimes, but my imagination is bigger so it all works out.

    Bookmark   March 25, 2006 at 9:30PM
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I was forty-five when our first child was born, after almost sixteen hours labor, no epi. Natural conception, although we contemplated fertility consultation, we happily found we had to cancel the appointment. Pregnancy was complication free. We feel very lucky and blessed. I often feel perplexed by promo's etc. for "seniors/55+" though, as our child will only be turning ten when I'm that age. I wonder how society will view mothers like us then, does anyone else have comments on that issue? What will the school situation be like, the other parents, etc. in respect to mothers at an age that some consider to be senior citiziens? Would love to see your thoughts.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2006 at 5:23AM
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My first pregnancy wasn't at/after 40 (I had just turned 37 less than 2 weeks before delivering baby #1). However, my next two pregnancies were at the age of 40, and I delivered my third child at 41-1/2. My second pregnancy was so rough. I was sick 24/7. I had an amnio done and unfortunately our baby was found to have a chromosomal abnormality (which is more likely with "older eggs"). Sadly, we chose to interrupt* the pregnancy with baby #2. (*Please.... no judgement calls or debates. This is a very subjective decision that can only be truly "known" if/when it personally happens). Baby #3 was born healthy, just like baby #1. I was able to become pregnant during the first month of trying with all three of my pregnancies.

We're talking about trying for baby #4. However, we feel so blessed to have the healthy, happy children that we do and will probably consider ourselves as "done" in the baby-making department.

Best wishes to all of us "Advanced Maternal Age" mommies. I think it's great! :)

    Bookmark   July 5, 2006 at 7:05PM
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I was an older mother for my era. Did not go off the pill till 30 & I had our first baby at 32. There was some discrimination when oldest child entered preschool in the small town where we moved. Those moms were in their early 20s, and I was into my later 30s, and they just were not interested in talking to that old gal. We moved again when she was ready to enroll in kindergarten, and that town had many older moms, so there were many moms who were interested in chatting and getting to know me.

    Bookmark   July 24, 2006 at 6:50PM
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I've just had my first in my mid 30's..i am nervous about having a second. I'ld like to wait 3-4 years ...but my hubby would be in his 50's. I dont know if we would have energy. But my son is a blessing!
My sisterin law is 46 and she is only 5 months preg. She is scared but i'm so happy for her. She couldnt get pregnant for 15 years!!!! She was trying and trying...and she got pregnant on vacation. We say it was teh rollercoster that helped her! hehehahhahah
Congrats if you are. Dont worry. It will be worth IT!!!!

    Bookmark   August 28, 2006 at 10:01AM
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Help...I am 41, married in June. I have seen a fertility specialist as my fallopian tube is blocked. My problem right now is deciding if I should go through directly with In vitro fertilization of just have fallopian recantilization done (unblocking tube)there is so much involved and such big decisions to make and I am afraid of having a baby at such a late age and worrying about the complications of birth defects i.e. down syndrome. Anyone out there have anything like this happen to them...I was told to try to decide ASAP by my doctor as my age is a major factor here. Thanks.

    Bookmark   October 8, 2006 at 2:47PM
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My baby was born shortly after my 40th birthday. He was the miracle of "In-vitro fertilization" after unsuccessful attempts to conceive and three years of traumatic treatments and tests which included 8 (Eight) IUI Cycles. My situation may be even more interesting to some, because the baby would be my only family beside my elderly mother. Waiting for the right man to come along who would want to have a family with me, I realized was never going to happen. So with my mother's support, I decided to endure it alone, and became a "Single" mother. This baby is the best thing that happened in my life. For those of you considering IVF, yes, it is expensive, but you have to figure out what is truly important to you in your life. A new car? More clothes? Shopping? For me, I laid the cash on the doctor's table and left it in God's hands. The sheer determination and fighting a lot of odds the choice was clear despite the financial strain it puts on me (I am not some big corporate big wig, just a small private school teacher). Now, my greatest desire is to give my baby a sibling and I will be fighting my next odd. Approaching my 41st birthday, I wonder if it will be successful this time. But I must give it a try at least. I have to say I prayed an awful lot and kept God Almighty by my side always. Soon strangers, and people I never thought would help, helped me with the birth of my baby. One miracle leads to another. Sure the days can be tought, but you know what? Sometimes, a secret power within you surprised how much you can take. Thanks for letting me share. Shehla

    Bookmark   January 14, 2007 at 3:34PM
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I am 44 and trying to conceive naturally for the first time. I've read about and weighed the risks and I'm ready to move forward. We're doing everything we're supposed to be doing: gave up caffeine, alcohol, take vitamins, eat better, using an ovulation predictor, etc.

If it doesn't happen for us, I'm willing to consider the adoption path and have done a lot of research on that front. There are so many children --domestic and international--who need loving families.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2007 at 1:41PM
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Conceiving after 40? You never know until you try right? I doubted I was fertile until I had my first pregnancy at 39. It was a total accident as I was on birth control at the time. I miscarried in the 8th week which I think was due to the birth control, scuba diving and stress of realizing I was 7 weeks pregnant.

DH and I were happy with just the two of us, we were too busy traveling and playing to bring kids into our lives. The miscarriage made us realize we wanted the pregnancy so we decided to try and see what happens. We would give it a try for a few months and if we didnÂt get pregnant then we would stop trying. So we found an online ovulation calendaring program and nine months later at age 40.5yrs (and 36 hrs of labor) our DD was born. She is absolutely the sunshine of our lives! She brings us such joy!

The pregnancy was normal up until the last month where I gained a load of weight in water and swelled up like a balloon. I was the oldest in all my prenatal classes, and exercise classes, but the younger moms didnÂt hold it against me. We were all equally excited.

Now at age 41 DD is 8mos. old and we are contemplating another child so DD has a sibling. But reality is we will probably adopt an older child when she is a little older. We feel we waited too long, we should count our blessings and not get pregnant again. Just our personal opinion.

I am self conscious about my age, I know I don't look anywhere near 41, but will I look 50 in a few years, probably - kids are like the Presidency it tends to make you age prematurely. I just hope that I am able to maintain my good health and physical condition as she grows up so I can keep up with her and be there for her.

We will not be a burden on her when we are old. We are funding her college and our retirement at the same time - she will be graduating from High School when we are retiring.

    Bookmark   August 25, 2007 at 3:23AM
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Just wanted to say how pleased I was to run across this page and thank you all for your information. I am 39 going on 40 and my husband and I have decided to try to have a baby. I am in good health and have found much encouragement in these stories to feel I have as good a chance as any to have a healthy baby at my age. I've started taking folic acid supplements as doing that for at least a month before attempting conception seemed to be the first point of importance in most of articles I've found. I've never been a member of a chat page before but I can envision visiting this page often in the coming months. Thanks.

    Bookmark   August 25, 2007 at 12:25PM
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atxmusic - sounds like you are on the right track. Have you visited your OBGYN? She can give you more pointers about pre-pregnancy planning and prescribe some prenatals to take that have 800-1000mg along with the latest supplements. I found the store bought prenatals left me very nauseous. Also, make sure you are doing some form of excercise now as the first three months of pregnancy often leaves you drained of all energy. If you have any questions/concerns feel free to email me through my member page. I wish you the best!

    Bookmark   August 25, 2007 at 12:44PM
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Hi, congrats to all you ladies in-waiting and lots of baby dust to the rest of us! I am 43 and currently TTC a mountain I have been trying to climb for over 10 yrs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either me or my DH. I have m/c twice in the 6th week and my gyno has been such a negative aspect in all this. He has pounded me with the age issue so much that when I was preg the first time I had dreams that my eggs were rotten and that I am too old to have a baby. It was really horrible. After reading all your posts it makes me feel much better and gives me hope that I too will hold an angel in my arms soon God willingly.

Good luck to all!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2007 at 5:29AM
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I am 44 and trying to get pregnant again. We have a 3 1/2 year old son who I gave birth to when I was almost turning 41 and he is healthy and the light of our life. The pregnancy was completely uncomplicated for all of you parents to be who have concerns. We have been trying for our second for well over a year now. We both had testing done for our levels/counts and everything is well within range. I was able to conceive in March of 07 but miscarried. We are on an emotional rollercoaster each month getting our hopes up high only to have them crushed each time I get my period. It is very draining. I guess what I'm trying to find out is, can a person really get pregnant naturally at my age, or are we wasting precious time? What I mean by that is we can go the route of IVF, but prefer not to if I can get pregnant naturally. Are there really people out there at my age ( or older) having children naturally?

    Bookmark   November 6, 2007 at 6:09AM
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Cjac2 - Was yr previous pregnancy thru IVF? or naturally?

Although doctors discourage ladies over 40 to TTC naturally as it will take longer and time is precious at our age. I too am not pro IVF because of all the meds and of course the cost of the procedure and not getting any guarantees that it will work. Browsing through the internet I have read a lot of stories of ladies getting preggo naturally and it gives me hope and courage that someday soon it will happen to me too.

Best of luck with your TTC

    Bookmark   November 7, 2007 at 4:21AM
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I am so happy to hear all of your success stories! I just lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage at 6 wks. Unfortunately my body thought it was still working on a baby, so my planning and excitement became a habit. Now I am trying to regroup and make a plan for what I am going to do next. It is very helpful to hear that so many women over 40 are having healthy babies.

    Bookmark   November 12, 2007 at 9:47PM
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Dear mamashell,
Sorry to hear about your loss, and I agree it is very helpful to hear so many positive posts here.
I got married 2 years ago when I was 42 and my DH was 37 and we had only stopped using contraception the previous year- ridiculous when I think of it now! We jumped straight to IVF because of my age... It was successful and I got 2 eggs from 5 follicles of which one fertilised. Unfortunately, a week after embryo transfer AF started and I was devastated.

That was last week and I am now in a dilemma as to what to do next. IVF was so expensive, emotionally draining and with no result. I do not have any health problems and my husband's sperm count is on the low side of normal. Should I attempt IVF again before time runs out? According to 'Resolve' by 45 90% of eggs are abnormal- which is why I have found all these stories so comforting as they contradict this.
Has anyone any advice?

    Bookmark   November 15, 2007 at 5:27AM
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Pippylot - I wish I had some information for you or advice. I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you and what you must be going through. I had one miscarriage and that was devastating - I went through the entire 2nd pregancy afraid I was going to lose the baby and didn't tell family or friends until we cleared the first 17 weeks (after amnio). I did take some comfort in knowing that many, many women miscarry in the first few weeks and go on to have successful pregnancies.

Is there anyway you can get IVF covered on your health insurance (its open enrollment season)? I was suprised that it was offered under my plan.

    Bookmark   November 16, 2007 at 6:07PM
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Thank you so much auntiebubba for your reply. We don't have insurance here in the UK so it's strictly private at my age...seems so unfair as under 40 I would have a three free attempts at IVF. I still feel I would go through IVF again even though we had agreed only once. I can see it is a bit like a gambling addiction- well, maybe next time it will work etc.
We have our appointment with the consultant in jan, so there is plenty of time to think about it. I am feeling quite down and am dreading going back to school on Monday as it is common knowledge why I was off work. To add insult to injury there are several members of staff pregnant at the moment.
At the moment my thought processes are just to go for IVF again just because time is running out and I won't even have the option soon... How I wish I'd been aware of infertility earlier. My sex ed must have been so good the fear of unwanted pregnancy has stayed with me till my forties!!

When do you decide that enough is enough though, with the hope dangling in front of you?
We could afford it again with re-mortgaging our house and I guess 5 thousand pounds for a baby is nothing, but to go through these feelings again...that would be cruel!!


    Bookmark   November 16, 2007 at 8:19PM
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I think you should just adopt if you are over 40 and cannot concieve "naturaly". All the fertility treatments are so expensive and the risks of birth defects are extremly high. Also advanced maternal age can cause premature delivery and that is another series of problems. Why would you want to gamble with your childs life like that?

Think about the real reasons you want a baby. Is it kinda just because you cant? It didnt seem to bother most of you enough until now you are 40+. Just something to think about because you would feel silly if your "dream" finaly came true and you realized it wasnt what you thought it would be. Sometimes not being able to concieve is for the best. If you REALLY want to parent adopt.

    Bookmark   February 7, 2008 at 2:45PM
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To the person who posted the below, I think you run a bit on the ignorant side.

First off there are many women in their 40's who have healthy eggs, having healthy babies. The stories I have read on down syndrome seem to come from an age group in their early 30's.

And to say to women that the only reason they want a baby is cause have some ego trip is just the stupidest thing I have read here. Did you ever stop to think that couples don't meet the one they will conceive/birth a child with until later in life.

Your post reeks of ignorance.

Posted by beeb (My Page) on Thu, Feb 7, 08 at 14:45

I think you should just adopt if you are over 40 and cannot concieve "naturaly". All the fertility treatments are so expensive and the risks of birth defects are extremly high. Also advanced maternal age can cause premature delivery and that is another series of problems. Why would you want to gamble with your childs life like that?
Think about the real reasons you want a baby. Is it kinda just because you cant? It didnt seem to bother most of you enough until now you are 40+. Just something to think about because you would feel silly if your "dream" finaly came true and you realized it wasnt what you thought it would be. Sometimes not being able to concieve is for the best. If you REALLY want to parent adopt.

    Bookmark   March 25, 2008 at 1:50PM
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I am 47 and thinking of having my first child. I have heard the speach from the obgyn, it is doom and gloom. The high risks, the down syndrome, the c sections. I am scheduled to have some testing done with a local fertility clinic. I am a trim, athletic and energetic 47 year old with no medical problems and have a regular period, just like clockwork. I have wanted a child for many years but was in a bad marriage and knew it was not the right person to have a baby with. Now I have met someone that wants this as much as I do. Although he is fixed and will have go through a reversal. He does have 19,16,11 year old girls from prior marriage. I worry about how it will effect them too. There are so many decisions to make. Any feedback good or bad would be appreciated.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2008 at 10:23PM
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I think it's a tough call once you hit the forties. As some of you have said, does it make sense to TTC naturally when time is of the essence? And what about the fertility drugs? Not only are they expensive, but risky. I can imagine it must be a hard decision for you all.

To julieb, I would see what the fertility clinic says. You sound healthy, but are you willing to put your body through (possibly several) rounds of IVF, and then if you do get pregnant, the risks of miscarriage are much higher. Just food for thought. I have never been through IVF, but I know people who have, and it can be a devasting and very long process. I have one friend (who is a lesbian in her 20's) who went through IVF and it still took her almost 3 years to conceive. At 47, I don't know if I would attempt it. This is just my own opinion, and clearly, you can do whatever you want with your body.

There is something truly amazing about getting pregnant, carrying that baby around for nine months, and giving birth. On the other side of the coin, there are a lot of children out there who need homes, and if you are willing and financially able (the last adoption I heard about cost the parents 80 grand- not sure if this is the case with most adoptions), I think it would be wonderful to give a child a chance at a great family and home.

Good luck to all of you trying out there! I wish you all the best.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2008 at 10:26AM
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I've read about women at 47 who did IVF and had their baby. I'd say go for it.

    Bookmark   April 13, 2008 at 1:33PM
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To suggest to a woman there is risk of miscarriage from pregnancy so maybe she'd better think twice is like suggesting to all women they should not risk pregnancy since there is a risk of death, miscarriage, still births, down's, etc.....

Life is a risk!

I say ignore the negative remarks and go for your dream.

Many a time negative people are only projecting their own bitterness on another.

    Bookmark   April 13, 2008 at 1:39PM
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Thank you to everyone posting all the great stories! I am going to be 41 next month and we have decided to try and have another child. Though it will not be our first, I share some of the same concerns as you all. The bottom line is age is just age. A person can have great eggs at 43 and not so great at 25. I am against taking fertility drugs for myself but I think if it were my first child I might think differently. For those of you contemplating IVF, I would start with Clomid and see what result you get. If you get minimal results, then even through IVF you may not get a good # of follicles and may want to move straight to donor egg as when you get older it's not always a case of poor egg quality, sometimes it is quantity as we are born with all the eggs we will ever have and especially if you have never been pregnant before, you have used more than someone who has.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2008 at 10:32AM
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Hi Ladies!
I am glad I found this forum. I am in the same boat of TTC at the age of 43 years old! I am working with an awesome "natural doctor" who does accupuncture and TCM (traditional chinese medicine). She specializes in fertility and women's issues. Her success rate is very high and in fact, her mom had her at the age of 46! I will begin chinese herbs tomorrow and have already begun supplements and accupunture.

Has anyone tried this route? My doctor does NOT believe in IVF or clomid as she believe really messes up your system and is synthetic drugs. Her belief is a women's body need to get back "in balance". It is a different approach, but one that has had alot of success for older women.

What is everyone else doing? Thanks for everyones support.


    Bookmark   May 18, 2008 at 11:20PM
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Hi, new here. I'm 41 and just had my first baby (girl!) My story is a sad one. I never wanted babies, my hubbie and I have been married for 20 years and I finally decided to give him the baby he always wanted. In 2006 after only trying for 2 months, I became preg. which was surprising being as I was on the pill for 23 years! Anyway, 30 weeks into the preg. I quit feeling him move. went to hospital, didn't find heartbeat. can't explain the pain we felt, it went so deep sometimes I didn't feel alive myself. so I gave birth to my stillborn baby boy, which we found out was caused by a cord accident (wrapped around his little neck several times). I never knew that could happen. My do says he's seen it at least 500 times in his career. So the only thing I could think of was how fast can I get preg. again, I needed to feel a baby inside me again! It took 7 months, but finally got pg again only to lose it to a m/c at 9 weeks. Found out I have a clotting disorder, so was told the next time I get pg I will have to give myself 2 blood thinning shots a day while pg. so 2 weeks after my m/c, I got pg a third time. I was scared to death all thru pregnancy, I would poke my belly everytime she quit moving (she couldn't have gotten any sleep while inside me, HA). Had an amnio no down syndrome or any other chrom. problem. had a perfectly healthy girl on April 29th! Now I want to have one more and want to start trying this fall, but I'm scared to death of losing another baby or down syn. etc. I just wanted to know how many of you have had the scare of any chrom. problems? I always hope that our bodies know when there is a problem and cause an early m/c so we won't have to get so attached to a 16 week old fetus before we find out they have a problem. It's good to know there are a lot of us out there that are doing this late in life. My doc is very happy we want to have another baby, he was an only child and didn't like it. so it's great to have so much support from him. Good luck to all of you and congratulations to those of you who have special little newborns.


    Bookmark   June 20, 2008 at 1:32PM
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Don Quai is great. I am purchasing a tea called 'Female Toner'. Pregnancy Prep is great too. I use it in the LP only.

    Bookmark   August 23, 2008 at 5:35PM
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I am forty, with 2 healthy children, 9 and 11. Two months ago I conceived, but miscarried at 7 weeks. It was an unplanned pregnancy, but I couldn't believe the joy (as well as fright) that I felt at finding out I was pregnant. I didn't realize that those feelings were lying deeply buried inside me. Now I think that I want to try to get pregnant again but feel that it would be somehow selfish. That I should be happy with what I have. It was one thing for it to happen accidentally, but to actually try seems, well, somehow slightly ridiculous. Of course I am worried about the possibilities of birth defects, especially as my husband is almost 50, but really one of the other things stopping me is just wondering what other people will think. (Although I don't want this to be a factor, I can't seem to just dismiss it.) So, I am wondering basically how it felt to be an "older" pregnant woman and then mom. The good and the bad.


    Bookmark   September 23, 2008 at 6:58AM
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I got married to my second husband at age 40 and got preganant with my first child naturally within 4 months at 41 y.o. (we planned to have children). After 3 months of trying we saw an infertility specialist for a consultation, but it turned out that I was already pregnant. It was a successful pregnancy and I delivered a healthy normal boy (almost 9 lbs) - just shy of turning 42. He is completely the best thing that has ever happened to me - I am so totally grateful! My son is now a toddler and we're trying for baby #2. I'm now 43 and my husband is 47. I am always the oldest mom in playgroups and mommy & me activities, but the other (mostly early 30's) moms are very nice and we regard each other as peers in the area of first-time parenthood. It doesn't bother me that much, but I wish I knew some other first-time moms who gave birth in their 40's.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2008 at 12:06AM
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I first started trying to become pregnant at 38 and after six months without success, found out that my tubes were blocked. Due to my age the doctors recommended I go straight to IVF. After 2 complete attempts and one cancelled cycle, I conceived at age 39 and gave birth after turning 40 to my beautiful son. He was the joy of our lives, and we soon decided to try for another. After 3 rounds of IVF I conceived #2 and had him one month before my 42nd birthday. Another perfect boy! Due to my age we decided we were done, and we were perfectly happy with 2 children. Surprise - a month before my 42nd birthday I found out I am pregnant with #3. This one is a girl, and I am 20 weeks pregnant. So far all screening tests indicate that she is healthy. We were shocked when we found out we are having another but we are thrilled.

I never had children when I was younger so I can't compare. I do know that this is a great time in our lives to have children. We are probably more patient and definitely more financially secure than when we were younger. I am sure I will feel a little awkward at times being an "older mom" when they go to school, but I wouldn't change anything and we feel so blessed!

    Bookmark   January 31, 2009 at 6:25PM
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I'm so glad I came across this page, I have been at my whits end not knowing whether I could or should get pregnant at 42...I have three wonderful kids already from my marriage of 21 years, eldest being 20 and youngest 16. My new partner of 2 years is 34 and never wanted kids, but recently we decided that we would love a child together and would try, I have been taking the pre-natal vitamins and I am also using OPK kit, my first time of using that this month which quite successfully measured my LH levels, my periods are always regular so was reassuring to know that the levels still rise so there is hope.

(is there anyone else that used the OPK testing kits and has successfully conceived as a result and how long did it take?)

I hope that I am able to have a child with my wonderful new man, reading all your stories has made me a little more hopeful that it may happen...although, if it doesn't it doesn't, Thank you so much to all who have posted on here, it gives a little hope to the rest of us.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2009 at 10:08AM
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Shellykay2009, I conceived at 38 (2 months shy of my 39th birthday). We bought an OPK thinking it would take a long time to conceive and it worked the first month we tried to get pregnant. Our amazing son was born 9 months later! My husband and I really want another child. I am 40 now, almost 41, and have been pregnant twice in the past 6 months. Unfortunately, I had a chemical pregnancy with the first and a m/c at 8.5 weeks with the second. We were so hopeful after seeing a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks. We are going to try again and after reading the posts on this site I feel better about our chances of success. I am terrified that we will lose another pregnancy but it scares me more to give up because of age.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have my beautiful son. If anything my age allows me to appreciate every minute I have with him.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2009 at 10:04PM
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Hi Emhip,
You wrote that "Just extend the same courtesy to us younger moms, because you guys can be a bit intimidating sometimes. We should all be supporting each other as women and moms, but at times I feel like it's younger against older... anyone else think so?"

I had my daughter at 24 and I feel the same way when older moms get together. It seems there is the teen-mom group (uber-cool) and the older-mom group (uber-experienced, super women) and we're kind of crammed in the middle. I consider myself to have waited a respectable amount of time to have a baby, am educated and married. I'm also fun and youthful. Let moms like me play too!!!

    Bookmark   March 18, 2009 at 12:59PM
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This board is a slow mover... there has to be more mom's and mom's to be out there over 35-40 trying to get pg or that are pg looking for a board:) I have 3 beautiful children 11, 9 & 5... we found out we were pg in Jan 09- right after New Year's- we were shocked because it wasn't "planned"... needless to say our shock turned to happiness quickly! Sadly we miscarried just a few days ago- our hearts are broken but we are confident we will have another child. Our little angel girl is up in heaven- I'd rather have her in my arms but there is a reason for everything (not that that makes me feel any better but it is true) I am 40 and honestly, I don't feel it, and am told that I look 30- I excercise, eat healthy and take vitamins daily. Any of you out there that are 35-40+ and are wanting a baby we say "GO FOR IT"! Don't let age control your life, thoughts and what you do for yourself- its a number...everyone ages differently even when it comes to fertility! People are living much longer and healthier lives now and to have a child graduating from H.S. at age 58 or 59 isn't that bad. My brother in law and his wife found out they were pg- she is 43 and he is 46- it wasn't planned, but they are happy. They have 4 boys 2 in college, one in High School, and one going into 6th grade in the fall. Its all in how you look at things. There are *SO* many woman having babies over the age of 40 now, and they have healthy babies. We were told by our Maternal Fetal Med Doc that the "statistics" that are out there now are not accurate for today's world- those statistics were done at least 10+yrs ago when a lot of mom's over 35 & 40 weren't having babies- so to look at the big picture now and to do new numbers would look so much more in our favor! At the end of the day the only thing you have wonderful to leave behind are your children. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Be your own advocate and do what is best for your family... God Bless!!!

    Bookmark   March 31, 2009 at 10:32AM
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Hello! I'm glad I found a place where other women have my common interest. I am 41 and TTC #2. My son will be 2 this week. We got pregnant the first time around after 4 cycles (38 yrs. old). My husband and I started trying again in June. I took a First Response fertility test this morning. Not sure what to make of the results. Has anyone else tried this test? I'm also wondering how long we should try before consulting a doctor/ specialist... We got the green light in March and have been taking prenatal vitamins, limiting caffeine, exercising, eating right, etc. Can't wait to hear from someone! Your wisdom and support are greatly appreciated.

    Bookmark   August 2, 2009 at 5:54PM
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Dear khil,
I feel your pain regarding your stillbirth and I am sorry for your loss. My husband and I have a similar story-I was 8 months pregnant (conceived for the first time at 43 and it took us 7 months of trying naturally)and one day in my 34th week I stopped feeling her move. I was induced and gave birth to our baby girl-Paisley on June 6th 2008. There is no greater pain than giving birth and hearing absolute silence. Although we were/are grief struck we began trying again 2 months after our loss because we knew that time is not on our side at this point. We still have had no luck and have considered IVF, but it is too costly for such a low success rate (using your own eggs). So now we are looking into adoption and have gotten the ball rolling in that direction. We are still trying to conceive on our own though in the mean time-why not-right? I will be 46 in May and my husband will be 47 this April. Does anyone out there have any info on the notion that if a woman orgasms (within 40 minutes after her husband's ejaculation) that it increases the likleyhood of conception?? All of your stories have given me new hope-thank you! I am so glad I found this site! Good luck to all.
Paisley's Mom

    Bookmark   March 30, 2010 at 3:49PM
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This is a great page, I am glad I found it. I am 39 and 10 weeks pregnant... scared, oh yes indeed! I have recently lost my fiancé and after being with him for 10 years, didn't think I would ever get pregnant. Well, low and behold, I am. No not planned (obviously)... quite a shock to be honest. So I am turning 40 at the end of the month and going to have my first child... yes as a single mom. The father is a stand up guy and I am happy it is with him, but we are not together, nor will we pretend to be.
I am scared of all the horror stories I have seen about having a child at this age, especially my first. After reading all the success stories, I am given hope though. My heart truly does go out to all those who have lost though. I donÂt think I myself would be able to bare more heart ache. I am looking at this as godÂs reminder that in the darkest days, love and life find away.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2010 at 2:01PM
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Well, I have to add to the list - I delivered a beautiful baby girl when I was 46 from IVF/donor egg. I didn't get married until I was 40 and we tried for several years to get pregnant on our own after that. For IVF my FSH was too high to try to use my own eggs and we debated about donor egg - would I love her enough, etc. It's so silly. We have a beautiful 6 month old girl that looks just like my hubby and I couldn't be happier to be a mommy. Being a parent is a wonderful experience and we are so grateful for the opportunity to be parents. I did have to go on bed rest for a previa but am told that could happen to anyone and was just bad luck. At any rate - if you want to be a mommy, go for it!

    Bookmark   February 3, 2011 at 4:01AM
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I am 9 weeks pregnant and i am 42 yrs old i will be 43 when i give birth i have a 22 yr old and a 18 yr old and a 12 yr old, this pregnancy was totally out of the blue i was in shock, i am so scared could sum one reply back to me pls with some encouraging words i dont no if i can do this agaain at my age, i also have a grandson whos almost 2. from a scared older mum to be help.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2011 at 6:02AM
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I am so glad to have seen all the posts - it gives me encouragement. I have a 22 year old and turned 40 last summer. Had a serious surprise when finding out I was pregnant last November, to say the least. I am with the love of my life, so we adjusted quickly. We are both in medicine, so my age and associated risk factors really scared us. Everyone knew the same day we found out, since I had passed out at work (in an ER), my lab results came right back and there was no way of keeping THAT a secret. We only knew we were pregnant for 5 weeks, then only 2 days after my 12 weeks appt in January, I had a miscarriage. I had a D/C the next day due to blood loss. We were devastated, to say the least. The pregnancy was unplanned, but we were so ready for this, our family was so ready and was just horrible.

I have physically recovered and emotionally - well, I'm working on it. My OB/GYN said there's no reason I couldn't have a normal, healthy pregnancy - no higher risk than the first time, but I'm scared. I wonder why it happened, though I'm sure it was just one of those things. My body probably forgot what to do after so many years, right? So now, I really want to try again and he doesn't. He is afraid for another m/c.

I've been taking my prenatals, folic acid, calcium, B6, and some herbals --- and just hopeful, and prayerful I will become pregnant soon. Thank you in advance for the well-wishes and hopeful thoughts. Sounds like we are all in this together, ladies :)

    Bookmark   March 17, 2011 at 6:20PM
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I am 45 and 28 weeks pregnant, natural conception after 1 year of trying and 1 mc. No complications so far and feel good. I didn't believe the statistics on getting pregnant over 40 and glad I didn't cause I might never have tried if I did.

    Bookmark   April 22, 2011 at 12:19PM
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All I can say is thank goodness for this post. I got pregnant at 41 naturally but has a MC in my 8th week. I'm 42 now and still trying and hearing all these stories gives me hope. Thank you all.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2011 at 8:24PM
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For those of you who are trying or who have lost a baby over 40, have faith that it is possible to have one naturally. I had 3 boys at a "normal" age and then my baby girl at 45 (after 2 miscarriages at 43, 44). I just found out I am pregnant again two weeks before my 46th birthday. I know all the statistics so I am cautiously optimistic. After all, I have a better than not chance of miscarriage... but I just keep thinking that if it happened once last year.... why not again?? I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I am not even 5 weeks yet but so far, so good. Best of luck to all of you and, if you haven't tried taking DHEA and L-Arginine, I would try it for a few months. I do think it really improved the quality of my eggs. Some links with more info:

    Bookmark   September 29, 2011 at 4:39PM
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I am so glad to find this forum and it has been very comforting to me. I'm 36 and decided to terminate my pregnancy at 20 weeks after finding out my baby had a chromosome abnormality. This was to be the first child for me and my husband. I've gone through so many emotions and still have trouble finding peace everyday. My husband and I have decided we want to try again but we are both terrified of this happening again. Friends and family have been wonderfully supportive but before coming across the postings here, I was unable to find anyone who had terminated a pregnancy for the same reasons I did. As difficult as it must have been to share your story, I am so grateful that you did. Thank you.

    Bookmark   March 12, 2012 at 2:23PM
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I am so glad to find this post. I had my first child out of wedlock when I was 29. I got married 5 years ago at age 37. My husband and I have been trying for as long as we have been married. I turn 43 in September and that was my mental cut off date for trying. However, I missed by period this month. After three home pregnancy tests, yes three, we are pregnant. I am very scared due to I am 42. My fear is taking over and kind of drowning out my excitement. We haven't told anyone yet because of my fears. I just need to make sure everything is going to be ok. All you really hear about is the chances of everything that can go wrong that's why coming across this was a godsend. I feel better knowing that I can have a normal pregancy and a healthy baby. Thank you ladies!!!!

    Bookmark   March 29, 2012 at 11:24AM
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I was happy to find this post! I am 41 yrs old and 6 weeks pregnant and honestly very nervous. I had 3 children in my early 20's so this is starting over. It was a big surprise to get pregnant at this age. I am divorced and my SO and I have been together almost two years. He isn't even sure he wants children let alone at this time. I haven't told anyone yet as I have been afraid to since there are so many risks. I wanted to be sure things are going well before shaking up everyone's lives. So far I feel great, no morning sickness (I have never had that with any pregnancy)and just a little breast tenderness. I feel like I am showing already, my belly popped out this week and I can't suck it in lol. Also I am STARVING all of the time. I don't remember ever feeling this hungry with my previous pregnancies. Anyway, I just was looking for reassurance that a woman over 40 who has conceived naturally with her own egg can have a healthy outcome. The statistics scare me and my OB won't even see me until after the 8 week mark, probably because miscarriage is common in the first 8 weeks. This is the first time I have ever worried about miscarriage or birth defects. Those thoughts never crossed my mind with my past pregnancies and with this one, it is constantly on my mind. It's hard to feel excited or start planning ahead because I worry if this little guy will make it that far. Thanks for sharing all of your stories, they brought me encouragement.

    Bookmark   June 8, 2012 at 12:31PM
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Today my first IVF cycle failed. I am beyond myself with grief.
Thankfully I found this site as I am not sure we will be able to afford another one.
It seems that the only solution would be to try to conceive naturally and I am grateful for all these encouraging comments.
I know it would not be easy.
I am 43 and my husband and I tried for a baby for the first time.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2012 at 1:30AM
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Delighted to find this page. Had a m/c few wks ago, I was 6 weeks pregnant, it would have been my first baby.Im 42 and was afraid to consider trying again so soon after. But with reading all these posts im trying again, thanks everyone for sharing your stories.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2012 at 1:22PM
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I'm 34 and knew that I wanted kids later in life at 25. I thought I would want them in 10 years back then, so at 35 or so. However, life happens and I didn't meet the man of my dreams sooner to make this happen. The man I'm in love with is younger than me and still in medical school and then will be in residency for the next 7-8 years. Financially and logistically it is not ideal to bring a baby into this world during this time. I don't want to have kids unless I am a stay at home mom. So I really don't see myself having kids until 42-44. It concerns me for many reasons including birth defects, my energy level, and ultimately I want my babies thrive when they are in their 30s and I'm in my 70s. I don't want to be a burden to my children when I'm elderly and may need their help.

    Bookmark   January 5, 2013 at 12:34PM
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Hi ladies, I'm new here and I'm glad i found this forum after searching high n low for it. I ws 41 when i got married to a guy i knew for 2 years n been TTC eversince. I'm 43 now. My story is a sad doom gloomy one.A few months after i got married, we went for a check-up in a government hospital in my country. We didn't know what those things such as FSH n other numbers mean so we asked the doctor to explain. The doctor scolded us because my FSH is very high n that whatever programme such IVF or etc she puts me on will not achieve success.We went home crying.I went to another doctor of private hospital and had my polyps removed from my uterus but he didn't touch any of my endometriosis cyst on my ovaries. And, yes he said my ovarian reserves are just too low n even the one or twoeggs I have is not good. He kept on pushing me to go for egg donation but we don't want that. No doctors want to help me. Now, I've taken more good food n nutrition, avoid preservatives n canned food n sodas, upped my vitamins, have never taken alcohol or smoked in my life.We've been praying everyday for a baby.I really don't know what else to do.My mother-in-law n brother-in-law have been pressurising my husband to divorce me because of my late age of TTC.My husband has low good sperm-count problem but his problem is not as bad as mine. According to doctors, he has only 2 years but I dont hv any chance at all to hv a baby of my own.Sometimes i wonder why i met the man of my life at this age. I had always wanted to get married at age 27 or 28 but couldnt find any.I dont tell anyone of our TTC problems because some people have negative thoughts about us such as I must hv done something so bad in my life before.I really hope my prayer is answered.Most of your stories here, ladies, provide me some relief. You dont know how sad I am that it affects my performance at work. Ktrojan, if you are still following this forum, couldyou please tell me how i can see your'natural doctor'. I dont really believe in using drugs.

    Bookmark   January 9, 2013 at 3:07PM
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I'm so glad to have found this forum as well. I was recently married at age 37 and today is my 38th birthday. I have never been able to conceive because I lost both of my tubes and one of my ovaries in my early twenties due to cysts. My husband is 9+ years younger than me, and we will begin trying IVF later this year. I've waiting my WHOLE life to try to have a baby and so the journey finally begins. If for some reason it doesn't work we will adopt, but I'm so happy to read these success stories and know that there are others like me trying to conceive for the first time around 40. Good luck to you all, and bless us! :)

This post was edited by Ivannamamma on Sat, Feb 9, 13 at 23:12

    Bookmark   February 9, 2013 at 12:52AM
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