Chrismas Child

papajoe13December 25, 2006

Hello all,

This is my first post here & I am wondering if you all might be able to help out.My wife & I have an 8 year old daughter who was born on Dec. 25th,1998.We knew going in that it would be difficult to juggle between Christmas & birthday but up until now we have survived it all.We always make sure to give her a birthday celebration but it's usually later on in the day after our Christmas dinner is over.Also,I always make sure to wish her a happy birthday first thing in the morning with a hug & a kiss.Her response is usually the same with a "Thank you,merry Christmas."There have been occasions where after the Santa toys are played with & family gifts exchanged I'll suggest ending Christmas & celebrating her birthday for the rest of the day.She wants no part of it,she loves Christmas.She is very content with the way things are but every year it seems to break my heart more & more that the whole day does not belong to her.She feels very special that her birthday is on Christmas but I still feel a little cheated for her.I guess my question is,first of all,does anyone else here share the same situation?And I'm wondering what kind of ideas you might be able to come up with to help make my daughters birthday,her actual birthday,while still celebrating xmas?FWIW,this might be a case of me being selfish & wanting more for her because she is quite happy.Me,I'm pretty sad all Christmas/Birthday day long.

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I'm really sorry you're feeling bad for her. December babies get shorted no matter how you look at it. It sounds as if you've done a wonderful job of making her feel special anyway, she sounds like a happy child. But I think you could make it really incredible for her by not only celebrating in your usual way, but ALSO celebrating the HALF BIRTHDAYS! You know, have a party on June 25th to celebrate her nine and a half year birthday! She will think you were just the best for doing things this way, and you also may feel great.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2006 at 12:47AM
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I think a birthday party is special because the birthday child is made to feel special because her friends are there and there are games, and gifts etc. Perhaps you could do this the following week, after her birthday.

She doesnt want to miss out on celebrating Christmas Day.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2006 at 1:22AM
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Sounds like your daughter has just the right idea! What a lovely spirit she seems to have -- generous and seeing the bright and special side of her birthday instead of feeling cheated or slighted. Christmas for her is already about giving -- giving the holiday to all of her family, and not taking half of it for herself. With a success like that, why mess with it? Let Christmas be Christmas, and be sure to compliment her on her wonderful attitude -- which is what Christmas is really all about.

That said, she should still get to have a celebration of her birth with her friends and presents just for her. What about scheduling something a few weeks into the new year once school has resumed and the Christmas mayhem has settled? Pick a date that's late enough that she could send out invitations after school's back in session, but early enough that the after-Christmas sales are still in full swing.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2006 at 1:14PM
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My neice was born on 12-23. She had her "friend party" on the 16th at a ceramics studio. SIL is having family celebration on 12-29, pizza, cake and ice cream and presents. The first couple of years, SIL tried to do her birthday at the same time as Christmas, but it just didn't work out too well. Christmas always overshadowed the birthday. DN gifts are all wrapped in Hello Kitty awaiting the family party.

I definitely think it is better to have a separate celebration on a different day with a birthday cake, candles, balloons. Focus on the birthday person!!

DH was born 12-17. His birthday gifts were always wrapped in Christmas paper, MIL just thought that was okay. Since we have been married, there is no x-mas wrap, celebrate with a regular birthday cake, not something with pointsettias on it. Just this past b-day, I told MIL I was having a dinner celebration. MIL wanted to bring the cake. I asked for tiramisu since I was having lasagne and tiramisu is one cake DH enjoys. She brought the tiramisu along with a chocolate frosted highly decorated Christmas cake. Ugh, I don't know how much more direct I could be.

Any event, depending on your child's age, schedule her "friend" party for 1-2 weeks before Christmas and do the family party between Christmas and New Year's. I am sure she will still feel special on Christmas day, but will really enjoy the celebrations both before and after her birthday which spotlight her and not Christmas.

That way she gets to celebrate Christmas and her birthday separately like the rest of us.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2006 at 5:32PM
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My DD is 12/23. She turned 9 this year. And it's her first Christmas themed birthday. Since the 23rd fell on a Saturday, it's also the first time we had her friend party on the actual day. (we usually held the friend party earlier in December, to hopefully make it more special).

Well, I think this year was the most special. She chose a Rudolph theme. It was a sleepover party with 5 other girls, and they had a super time! And bonus - they stayed up really late, so on Christmas Eve they slept like logs. :-)

We had a Rudolph cake, Rudolph favors, Christmas Ornament crafts, then watched the classic Rudolph movie.

I think God blessed me with a child well-suited for being a holiday baby. Her personality just blends with the joy of the season, and I take my queues from her on how to celebrate each year.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2006 at 6:20PM
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December child chiming in here.

So many good ideas, & I know they're good 'cause they're the kinds of things I'd like!

Here's what I always wanted when I was a child/young person:

presents wrapped in genuine birthday paper

no "honey, we just got you this ONE BIG present instead of two little presents" stuff.
My "one big" was always comparable to my brothers' Christmas presents. & then they got birthday presents too.

cake/decorations/themes *not* Christmasy.

2 reminiscences:

I once attended a Christmas morning service in Tulsa, Oklahoma where the minister called on all the "December babies" to stand, & the congregation sang Happy Birthday to us.
It was very moving:
Several of us, I mean them, misted up.

& once, in about 1975 or so, my brand-new mother-in-law asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

I told her not to spend her money, she'd just bought us a bunch of stuff for the house, & we/I didn't need anything.

When she insisted, I told her to keep it cheap & wrap it in something other than poinsetta-patterned paper.

She gave me a bottle of my perfume-of-the-moment wrapped in apple green paper tied with pastel orange yarn.

It was so touching that I still remember it, more than 30 years later.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2006 at 8:38PM
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Papa Joe you sound like a wonderfully caring parent and your daughter sounds like she is fine with what you are doing now.

I was born on Christmas and hated it for years. I think I had maybe one 'real' birthday party as a child... the ones that you have with friends as opposed to the birthday cake with the obligatory singing after Christmas dinner. One year when I was a teenager my stepmother threw a half birthday party for me in June, but it was just weird and we never did it again. I suggest if you have a birthday party for your daughter have it before Christmas.

My daughter just threw a surprise 50th birthday party for me the weekend before Christmas and for maybe the 3rd time in my life Christmas didn't take center stage. It was very nice.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2006 at 10:58PM
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There are variations of own children (why did I always have the same due date?) have birthdays one week apart. That is tricky when they are little. NOBODY wants to throw two kid's parties a week apart. My own birthday is on a holiday - thank goodness it's a minor one. And what about those poor people whose birthdays fall on the missing days in February? Yikes.

Seems to me the important thing is to honor the person. Whatever it takes to do that - early celebration, down-play the major holiday, go ahead and kill yourself having two parties real close together...but remember and honor the person that you are celebrating. Make them feel special. That's the key.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2006 at 12:59AM
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Thank you for the wonderful responses so far.The situation is certainly not "broken",was just hoping there was a magical way that I could make it better.My daughter does get a birthday party with her friends,this usually happens sometime around the second week of December.This year she wanted to share a "friend" birthday party with her 4 year old brother who's b-day is Jan. 5th.I think my wife has something arranged for early next week.Thanks again for all the great responses.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2006 at 1:21AM
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I am a terrible aunt.

My neices, twins, have their birthday at Christmas time. So every year for 23 years, I have had to buy 4 gifts. After buying them almost every present I can think of, over the years, this year, I just had a bit of a grizzle about it. Too many gifts ! I even thought this year I would buy a combined birthday/Christmas present !! I know....what a meany! But I did buy the four, in the end.

But I do want them to feel special, and I am concious of the fact that there are two of them, and I make sure one present has Christmas paper and one has birthday paper.

TREKAREN....I loved your rudolph idea, sounds lovely. Rudolph cake sounds interesting !

Sylvia...I loved your MIL present, how sweet.


    Bookmark   December 28, 2006 at 1:24AM
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My daughter's birthday is the 16th and a grand son's is the 20th...and another grand son's is January 5th...
Somehow we managed to keep the birthday's a special thing...but in the early years, I did have a sort of 1/2 birthday party for my daughter....and then my son was born on June Christmas was his 1/2 birthday....and this year he had 1/2 a pair of slippers wrapped under the tree!
My Daughter always loved and still does having a Christmas birthday....but it's a long time between presents....and who wants a new bike in Iowa in December?...Hence the 1/2 birthdays.
Linda C

    Bookmark   December 28, 2006 at 1:37PM
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