Were your kids spoiled?

BugsDecember 27, 2001

I made a quilt for my 8 yr old step-son, his father got him a gun cabinet for BB guns (I know some dont agree but that isnt my point of discussion) We got him a puzzel, hockey, card, rocket, and a book. He was so happy with all of those gifts he didnt care about anything, He even told us we could have gotten a bad of scrap wood and he would have liked it. He seems to be unusual and likes gifts from the heart, is anyone elses kids like that? Although he got overly spoiled from Aunts and Grandmothers against our wishes but it appears he wasnt too interested anyways.

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nadastimer

My son loves toys from the Dollar store as much as expensive ones and loves when Mommy makes something for him. He's 3 and we plan to keep him this way as long as we can. His father and I don't believe we only need the best and I love fixing up old stuff to make it new for us! I hope he sees all this while growing up and learns something from it all.

His cousins (4 and 6) are raised more with a money buys love concept and I think that's going to bite BIL and SIL in the butt someday. They're trying to impress and are living way beyond their means. They will actually ask for more presents and ask if that is all and things like that. When they went to MIL's for Christmas, they asked for their present first thing in the door and then didn't seem to care for what they got and were mean. It hink that's so embarassing and would never allow that.

It sounds like your step son was just raised the right way. When I read the topic of the post I figured you were here to complain about some spoiled brat! Glad to hear he's not.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2001 at 1:35PM
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Stephanie_in_TN

My brother and I used to think stockings were better than any gift. One year my parents asked if we would rather have one gift, or just our stocking. We chose the stocking.

Now, as a parent, stockings are my favorite part of giving to my kids. All the little things, surprised they didn't expect, even practical things like a new toothbrush with a favorite character can make their day. It cracks me up. I think my kids like it too.

Materially, I don't think my kids were spoiled, not even by grandparents (they've learned to be more practical over the years). My version of "spoiling" my kids at Christmas is that I let them have dessert even if they don't eat all their meal!

    Bookmark   December 27, 2001 at 4:07PM
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Mommabear

What do you mean by spoiled?

We don't indulge them beyond our means (no credit card holidays). They aren't brats (most of the time). I don't think it is money that indulges children, but rather parents that do not ever know how to say no to children or impose limits on them.

Mommabear

    Bookmark   December 28, 2001 at 8:52PM
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zukowski_uic_edu

I have come to the conclusoin that women can be the worst noisemakers. im sick of their loud walking in high heeled shoes and boots and they wont let the men walk as loud as them.
I lived in one place and the woman walked around all the time, and then one time her boyfriend wore boots and she made him take them off.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2001 at 9:18PM
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Bugs

Mommabear, I basically wanted to know if kids seem happy with little things or a few big gifts or if they seem to want more. I was a very spoiled only child, grandchild and great grandchild and I grew up having a hard time living on my own when I didnt always have money for everything (not wants but needs) I have since learned to live more simple and enjoy what I have and how to make due with what I dont and I love it and am much happier now. I just kind of wondered how other kids were raised at Christmas and how they reacted.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2001 at 9:46PM
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mom4boys

I think you might mean are kids appreciative, rather than spoiled. Raising them the right way can help, but it's often more dependant on their personalities and the situation than their innate "goodness". For example, out of our four boys, boy #4 would hoot and hurray if you gave him a glass of water. He's always been like that, and we didn't raise him any differently. Boys # 1 and 2 will politely thank people even if they don't like their gifts, but I do remember boy #2 hiding behind the couch when he was a tot screaming that he wanted no more gifts. Two or three gifts were enough for him. When they kept coming, he was overwhelmed. Overall, I think kids do well with one bigger gift and then a bunch of little dollar-store ones. This year my 4-year-old asked Santa to bring him "homework" for Christmas. He got three dollar-store booklets of homework and was thrilled--now he can do homework like his older brothers. All kids go through a greedy stage I think, but all in all I think most kids are happy someone cared enough about them to get them a gift
.

    Bookmark   December 28, 2001 at 10:00PM
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Mommabear

If you mean what Mom4boys says my kids appreciate what they get at Hanukah. They beam and scurry for the phone to call whomever got them a gift (if it wasn't from us) so they can say thank you.

Hanukah is a little easier than Christmas (I think). Less overwhelming for younger kids because the gifts are spaced over 8 nights. I think what might make some kids seem un-appreciative at Christmas is that they are a bit overwhelmed by all the stuff at one time so they don't know how to react. My kids get gifts from each set of grandparents (2 nights), our siblings (2 nights), thier great grandmaother (1 night), and us (3 nights). They give us a gift on the first night and they get really excited about our gifts.

Regarding your problems adjusting to adulthood. Our financial situation is very comfortable. In order to help our kids get a feel for handling money we do the following. We give our oldest son 7 dollars a week allowance (he is 7 years old). Out of that money he has to save 2 dollars per week. 5 dollars a week is pocket money. We pay for all his necessities and he has to pay for snacks, ice cream, toys, etc. out of his money. Within reason he can buy whatever he wants with his money.

So far he has been really good. He spends about $2 out of his spending money and saves the rest. He tells me he is saving for a computer. From his allowance, plus money that he gets from grandparents he has $215 saved towards his computer. Pretty ambitious for 2nd grader. Anyway, those type of things can go a long way in preparing a child from a financially secure family for dealing with their own money. We will add more responsibilities as he gets older.

Mommabear

    Bookmark   December 29, 2001 at 3:52PM
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