Nostalgias of Motherhood

lov2gardenDecember 1, 2002

I feel like such a nut! Every time I clean out drawers and closets, I come across little snipettes of my children. A photo, greeting card, some artwork. And I cry. I'm not sure why. I see my children at younger ages and I think I realize that those days are gone, those little people has transformed and I will never be able to hug them again, listen to their stories, play with them, laugh with them, watch them discovering life as if is a wonderful adventure. My memories are vivid and I can easily recall each of them at different ages since they were born...I can hear their voices and remember them clearly. It all went by so fast. My sons are now 18 and 21. We are very close and I am so proud of the way they are growing up.

I'm not sure why I find myself mourning over the early years that are gone now. I miss them and I guess I didn't want those magic years to end. Sometimes I feel blue for hours afterward and tears continue to fall. Who else can understand this? I am writing here in hopes there are others.

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Yes, it does happen. I was ok until it was the high school senior year for my oldest. She would be leaving for college, and I knew our home life would never be the same. Now all have left for college and then moved out on their own. I count it a good holiday when they all can come home. Their presence is the only gift I want.

    Bookmark   December 1, 2002 at 3:54PM
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My daugher is almost 13 & I can relate to how you're feeling. I look at the outfits or pictures & remember how I was the center of her universe.

She's still a precious child, but there's a difference in chubby baby girl toddling across the room to give you a hug & a long legged girl almost as tall as I am!

    Bookmark   December 2, 2002 at 11:02AM
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I feel the same way about my boys, 21 and 17. Actually, I remember being in labor with my second son and feeling sad and melancholy during delivery. I was thinking "this will probably be my last child. I'll never experience this again." I was one of those who enjoyed being pregnant and feeling life. And I knew that as the years went by, the memory of what it felt like would fade. I think the holidays make those memories even stronger. It is very emotional to watch your children grow, isn't it? I feel all mixed up sometimes with pride and sadness. We are truly blessed.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2002 at 8:51AM
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