teens obsessed w/ cell phone, OCD?

lbelleNovember 30, 2009

Had a huge argument w/ my 16 yr old son after we told him he had to be in his room by 9pm and lights off at ten on school nights. He had to read (gasp) and leave his cell phone and i- touch downstairs. We found he had been staying up late using these devices and being crabby and getting up late for school. The usual, right? He threw the biggest temper tantrum for an hour. He did not want to leave his phone in our possession. I thought this odd, and and wondered is he obssessed, OCD? , what? Then, his sister comes out of her room (it's now 11pm) and I take her phone until morning. SHE begins to throw a similar hissy fit! What is this obssession with NEEDING your cell phone next to you during the hours of 10p-6am?

Have any of you had these problems? Or are my kids just spoiled brats? Are all kids spoiled brats who have cell phones? Will our grandchildren be born with these devices hanging out of their ears?

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popi_gw

Yes same issue here. I think what you are doing is good, but perhaps it would have been wise to put in these rules when they were a lot younger, like 10 or 11. But that is easy to say in hindsight !

Perhaps when things calm down you might be able to have a rational conversation with them.

Try making a deal with them, then they feel you are not being an evil tyrant.

I do have this problem, my son goes to sleep way too late, but he does get up in time for school. The last 2 days, he has had off school because of migraines, and I have to wonder if he is just exhausted ! He is 17.

I would encourage parents with younger children, to put in rules about phones and bedtime when they are young and more adept at listening without argument. Then as they get older the habit will be in place and arguments will be avoided...hopefully !

    Bookmark   December 1, 2009 at 5:31PM
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asolo

IMHO.....cell-phones and iPods do NOT rule. Parents rule.

Among those households where above rules do not apply, I suggest change.

Tantrums? Hissy fits? Among young adults? NO!!!! Enforced behavioral change instantly! C'mon mom and dad, let's go! Where are you?

Your task as parents is to present functional adults to the rest of the world when they leave your nest. As a citizen-outsider I am disinterested in dealing with your spoiled, overindulged, skill-less brats. I will not tolerate them, personally, and I certainly will not hire them.

    Bookmark   December 1, 2009 at 9:09PM
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popi_gw

Gee you are cranky of late, Asolo. Something happening in your life that you would like to talk about, perhaps ?

You are waving a red flag here !

    Bookmark   December 3, 2009 at 10:29PM
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asolo

Yo Popi...just saw this.

I'm fine. According to many people here, I'm more-or-less always cranky. The curse of writing directly, I suppose. You're entitled to wave all the red flags you want but there's nothing happening here.

Keying on your unusual post, however, I've re-read various entries I've posted that I think may have led to your comment. I'm comfortable with all of it although it's clear to me that many others are not. I'm accustomed to that, too.

There is one sequence on another thread where the focus became my posts rather than the OP's topic. When that became clear, I stopped posting there. Otherwise, I'll continue as I always have. I hope everyone else does, too.

    Bookmark   December 4, 2009 at 7:01PM
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NancM

Not wanting to leave his phone in your possession throws up a red flag to me that there could be something on his phone which he does not want you to see. "Sexting" and pornography can be a problem in this age group. I personally believe parents should be monitoring their teen's usage of cellphones and computers. Many teen's judgement has not matured enough to keep themselves out of troublesome and potentially dangerous situations. They can benefit from a mature adult who cares about them enough to help maintain appropriate boundaries

    Bookmark   December 7, 2009 at 11:51AM
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lowspark

I agree with nancm. I'm betting that there is stuff on there he doesn't want you to see. In addition, he's probably addicted. I know, it might sound crazy to be addicted to a cell phone. But people do get addicted to all sorts of things, including TV and video games. What makes them cranky and irritable is withdrawal from those things when they are forced to be away from them.

All these electronic devices are new to us as parents. We didn't have them growing up so we don't have any experience as the "kid" on how our own parents would have dealt with it. We're the first generation of parents to have these issues.

IMO when something, anything, causes my child to become irritable or sick, you can bet I'm going to take what I feel are necessary steps to remedy that.

You know, a four year old might eat candy all day long to the point of making themselves sick if we let them. Just because the four year old cries or pitches a fit when we take the candy away doesn't mean we should give it back. As the parent, we are responsible for making decisions as to what's best for our kids, whether they are four or sixteen.

Having a cell phone should be considered a privelege, not a right. Your son is living in your house under your rules, you are supplying the phone, you should set the rules. No cell phone after 9 pm is reasonable. It's like telling your kids to tell their friends not to call after 9 on the house phone, like we used to do in the olden days. What's so unusual about that?

    Bookmark   December 16, 2009 at 12:28PM
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yoyobon_gw

One question: Who is paying the bill on this cell phone?
Is he?

If not, you have every right to place limitations on use of that phone.
Otherwise, cancel the account.

Or...is that too frightening?

Spoiled kids don't come out of nowhere.

    Bookmark   March 5, 2010 at 7:55AM
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lee676

Pick your battles. I don't see what's so awful about a kid listing to music on headphones or calling/texting someone late at night. I do it all the time. Or do you think social isolation makes for better kids?

    Bookmark   April 27, 2010 at 1:31PM
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