My God is it that time already????

Michiganmissy2001November 27, 2002

My daughter will not be 8 until March but has lately been making comments about boyfriends and about some of the boys at school chasing girls to kiss them. I have always tried to be honest with her about where babies come from without giving details but lately she has been asking exactly what sex is and why people do it and HOW people do it and I feel like a deer in the headlights. I know everyone has a different belief here but would be really really appreciative to hear how others have handled this conversation. Ny daughter is still only 7 physically and emotionally but has a very sharp inquisitive mind and is slightly ahead of her age intellectually. After a month in kindergarten they bumped her right up to first grade. I thought that was a good thing back then but it just occurred to me that she will be a 16 year old girl when she is a senior and will be attending classes and graduation parties with 17 to 19 year old boys. (Can you tell I'm in a panic here? Any advice?

Melissa

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sheilajoyce_gw

I would answer the questions without too much detail. As or if she makes further inquiry, you can add more detail till she is satisfied that her questions have been answered. She may be hearing things from these peers who are doing all the chasing and kissing. And you do want to be the one who explains the facts of life to her, not her little friends.

Having said that, I would also suggest that you analyze who these friends are, where they are having these discusions, and see if you can dilute that relationship.

I remember deciding my daughter was hearing the wrong conversations at about 9 years old, and then learned that her new friend had a much older teen sister, who would include the little girls in the chats she and her friends had. I decided that her friend could play here at our house, but not at the friend's house. The teens were very nice to the girls, but their topics were waaaay to mature for them.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2002 at 9:12PM
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aileen

Don't worry about high school yet. There are a lot of 16 year old girls in their last year. You daughter may be one that matures physically earlier than others her age. In which case she will fit in better with the other older ones.

But for now, play it one day at a time. Today she is very curious. Next week, she may be interested in something entirely different. Don't avoid the questions. A good book store would probably have something on her reading level that would be exactly right. It would be worth your while to check on it.

    Bookmark   November 30, 2002 at 7:59PM
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aileen

While you answer her questions, it would be a good idea to try and find out what her friends are saying on the subject. Then, if someone is repeating stupid and harmful information (you know the kind, "you can't get pregnant the first time") you can steer her in the right direction. And at the same time find out if there is a single source for this interest. Just casually ask..."what do your friends tell you?" You say she is intellectually advanced so she will understand that you are not snooping, but that you just want to be sure that she is getting correct information.

Keep in mind that some of her friends may start their periods when they are 9 years old and get pregnant by 10.

    Bookmark   November 30, 2002 at 8:09PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

Yes, today's females are developing much earlier than previous generations. I meant to also suggest a book called "What's Happening to Me?" Check it out at the local bookstore. We bought it in paperback; don't know if it comes in hardback. Read through it and see if it is what you could use right now. We sat down on a quiet day and read it together. Then I was able to answer any questions--while dad had her brothers out of the house.

    Bookmark   December 1, 2002 at 4:00PM
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