HELP! 10 year old wetting bed

sharlanetNovember 28, 2001

My 10 year old daughter just started wetting the bed about a month ago. She does it several times a week and I'm going crazy. She usually wets 2-3 hours after she goes to sleep, and doesn't even wake up after she has wet. By the time morning comes, it's dry and she'd in denial that anything happened. Nothing in our lives has changed so I can't find any reason this would suddenly start happening. I don't want to make her ashamed and crush her self image, but I'm at wits end of what to do. Anyone else experience something similar or have any good advice? TIA!

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It's not that unusual for a 10yr to still be wetting the bed, but I would be concerned if she has been dry all this time and now is starting to wet. The obvious is a quick Doctor visit to rule out any problems. The Doctor might recommend DDVAP, a nose spray (very expensive)or a bed alarm. I have an older bedwetter (who has never been dry) and we use DDVAP on rare occasins, but on a daily basis he wears a night diaper and plastic pants (which he puts on himself). We definetly don't spend any time talking negatively about his bedwetting and make sure he is loved.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 8:36AM
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Maybe she is having a medical problem. I have heard of kids that wet at age 10, but the fact that she has been dry and just started wetting indicates that there may be a medical reason she is wetting. I am sure that you realize that making her feel bad about it is counterproductive. A 10 year old does NOT willingly wet the bed.


    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 9:14AM
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You can talk to her pediatrician about it, without taking her in to get advice or recommendations. Mainly, be careful of her sensitivity about this issue, her provacy, and her body. At the same time however, it is an important part of self-care and your parental care to be able to note and report unusual symptoms. It is important to see a doctor when a person has new symptoms which let them (the person) know that something strange is happening with the way their body functions. It is important for her to be able to talk about her symptoms at least to you, and to be able to see a doctor.

At 10 she probably does not know a lot about human physiology, anatomy, or medicine. She would know or have her own idea about people who 'wet beds' or who seem to be unable to control their urination all the time. Those preconceived ideas will keep her in denial and unable to get help or consultation about her health in this issue. You can give her information or access to information which is educational and can demystify urination or problems with that process. It's still 'private' but she should be able to at least to herself, if not to you and her healthcare practitioner or practitioners, accept that she has a body symptom.

If her pediatrician is male, and she is really shy about the whole subject and not wanting to 'be seen' by a doctor you can ask her if it would be easier for her with a female doctor. It might be, and if you are more comfortable and used to the male pediatrician you can talk to them about organizing a female doctor to work directly with your daughter at least for this specific problem.

she may be prepubescent, so close to puberty that there is something changing in her life internally (that can cause a lot of internal jumbling of thoughts and feelings, and new stress in general which the newly growing up adolescentish person won't be able to put into words)

    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 1:21PM
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I'm not one of those people that think that every behavior and condition means a trip to the Dr. or therapist. But in this instance, I would make an appointment with her pediatrician asap. Excessive nighttime urination is a symptom of juvenile diabetes. I sincerely hope that the problem is nothing serious, but you really need to get her checked out.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 1:57PM
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I second Deee's advice. I was diagnosed at the age of 12, and (blush) that was one of my symptoms. Its terribly embarrassing to a child or pre-teen, but does need to be checked out. Other symptoms of juvenile diabetes may be excessive thirst, fatigue, and/or hunger, unexplained weight loss.

I, too, hope the problem isn't serious. Its wise (in my opinion) to investigate a medical reason for the problem before delving into the mental aspect of things.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 7:10PM
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As much as I hate to mention it, this can also be a sign of sexual abuse. I would take her to a doctor right away and let her know that she is loved and she can always be honest with you.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2001 at 9:15PM
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We do what Denise does with our daughter just turned 11. She puts on diapers and plastic pants about 1/2 hour before bed time and we just started using DDAVP. She is wet in the morning. We also sepnd a lot of time making sure she is loved.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2001 at 7:17PM
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I have read that wetting the bed is often a sign of insecurity. Your daughter is at an age where she is probably starting to be more nervous about fitting in at school and keeping up with all the schoolwork and activities, etc. And she is probably beginning to mature also It never hurts to talk to your pediatrician and get his advice, but I wouldn't worry too much, I think it is fairly common.

    Bookmark   December 6, 2001 at 10:20AM
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Sharla - How is your daughter? I've been wondering about her...

    Bookmark   December 21, 2001 at 9:45AM
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Deee, how kind of you to care. It is getting better. She went almost 2 weeks without an accident but then last night (Christmas Eve) she wet again. I think it's when she is nervous or excited or something "big" is happening. My husband & I actually suspected she might wet again last night. Who knows why?!?!

    Bookmark   December 26, 2001 at 1:04AM
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We have worked with and cured thousands of children and infused their parents with hope at the Enuresis Treatment Center in Farmington, MI. Besides being a deep sleep disorder, research shows that bedwetting is also genetic. If both parents have a history of bedwetting there is a 77% chance the child will also wet the bed. The average length of treatment is 6 months, and we are certain we can correct the sleep disorder and end bedwetting. Go to for more info.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2007 at 2:29PM
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My friend spoke to her children's doctor about her two children wetting the bed regularly at the ages of 7 & 9 and the doctor talked about all of the same things mentioned above, including the genetic possibility and DDVAP, etc. etc.

My friend listened, and then went about it her own way. She simply took away the big pullups, and explained to the kids that she was going to help them to not have to wear the embarrassing pull ups anymore, and help them stop needing them. She set aside a few weeks and fully prepared herself to be washing bed linens for weeks to come. But instead, within a week or so, both children stopped wetting the bed. Sure, there was an accident or two she said a few months later, but that was it! 99% of the time, neither child wet the bed. She said that she wasn't sure why it worked. Before taking away the pullups, they would wet every night. when I read this, I called her to asked her why she thought her method worked. She said that she thinks that they have gotten so good at making the pullups so waterproof, that the kids never felt the discomfort of really being wet. And so it did not bother them. Once she took the pull ups away, it bothered them to be all wet, and they became aware that they were wetting the bed. She also made sure they went to the bathroom before bedtime.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2007 at 3:59PM
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My first child was wetting the bed at 4 yrs (I know not unusual) but what was odd was when I would put the pullups on him he wouldn't wet and when I didn't put them on he would.. now my 2nd is 6 and he still does it about every other night, Doing a lot of linens right now, the pullups I have used don't really work, they still leak so I just stopped using them, he wakes up when he does it and just moves and gets new blankets, unfortunatly usually to my couch and he sometimes wets there again. I just keep cleaning and tell myself when he finally quits for good I will have a reason to get a new couch, lol! But it is frustrating, I do make sure that he doesn't feel any of this however, poor little guy can't help what he does in his sleep!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2007 at 11:11PM
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My eldest boy had near nightly accident until he was 10. We ended up buying on-line one of those wet alarms to at make him aware that he was wet. We also instituted a no drinking policy after 7 pm (he goes to bed at 8:30. And to definitly go to the bathroom before going to bed.

    Bookmark   August 7, 2007 at 7:36PM
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wetting beds or pants can indicate emotional or psychological problem. Make sure you talk to her doctor. At 4 and a half I would not worry but still...

    Bookmark   August 8, 2007 at 1:10AM
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oops, sorry i posted on this as well without seeing your post. my 5 yr old grandson just started bedwetting as well and it is every night. as it so happens, DD did call dr today and they asked to see him and of course are checkign the urine, etc but nothing seems to be wrong. here are some of the things we found out:

bedwetting "can" also be due to constipation and says to make sure child is getting enough fluids before 3 and then limit after 3

the problem can also be caused by children who sleep extremely heavy/deep sleepers, and they can be deep sleepers due to exhaustion, or may be deep sleepers by nature. but that could dull the signal to wake up to go to the bathroom. kids that are overly tired, usually older children tend to have this problem

found out that 1 in 5 5yr olds wet the bed. 1 in 10 6 yr olds wet the bed.

as for your 10 yr old, i would suspect she will outgrow it as well.

my niece was about 11 or so before she stopped - and everything was fine with her, healthy, no problems but apparently a very immature bladder. they say there is a very small percent of kids who continue past 11 or so.
hope some of this helps.

    Bookmark   August 9, 2007 at 4:20PM
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I just wanted to say the same thing is happening to my Daughter she never wet the bed before. Now at age 9 she is at first we thought it was the water bed but she has been sleeping in our guest room and still wetting. I hear her at night changing her clothes but when I ask her if she wet the bed, so I know to change the sheets she says she did not wet the bed just her clothes but that is not true I wonder if she really does not know. Nothing has changed in her live she is very popular at school and has lots of friends. I think I'm going to wake her up at night for a week or two and see if that helps if not I will set up an appointment with her DR. Your site was very helpful. Have you found out anything or what did you do?

    Bookmark   August 15, 2007 at 6:04PM
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My son (age 10) has also started bedwetting again and diabetes was one of the first things that has come to mind. I have noticed with him that there is residue left from his urine on the toilet bowl (white flaky) and his urine splatters are glossy which really has me worried. I'm hoping it is an infection at worst. He also looks like he has lost weight. I'm really hoping and praying that it is some sort of growth spurt phenomenon that his body just needs to readjust to the changes. I'll try to post again when we have the results from the doc. Glad I found this blog!!

    Bookmark   January 9, 2011 at 5:49AM
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I wet the bed after my mother left when I was two years old. I stopped when I was fourteen. I had about eight years of therapy and they concluded that leaving my mother at such an early age was the reason for my bed wetting. Thought I would relay that information.

    Bookmark   February 8, 2011 at 6:02PM
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Hi my Daughter is wetting herself at school,home and also at her friends what shall i do.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2011 at 7:13PM
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Andi, has she done it before? Or is this something new? How old is she?

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 11:18AM
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My son has ADHD, and is very active. He has trouble sleeping,which surprises me, since he plays so hard all day long. I tried the bed alarm,but he wasn't allowing it to work. Every time he used it, he wet it about 10-15 minutes after he went to bed(yes he went to the bathroom right before bed). It was almost as if he was forcing pee to come out so he could hear the alarm go off. The problem is, once the pad is wet, you have to wait till it's dry again to use it again. He's still wearing pull-ups, and wets almost every night. Tonight, only 5 minutes after he went to bed, he let out a little yell, and when I went to go see what the matter was, he said his sister turned his light on(not the case). I looked at his bed, and it was soaked with urine, and he had a pull-up on, plus he had his Nintendo DSI open in the middle of the bed!He has snuck the DSI into his bed many times, and he loses it for a day, but, tonight I told him he lost his DSI for a week! I was furious, because I knew he peed intentionally, and his pull-op obviously wasn't fully covering him. I don't know what else to do. He has to "want" to quit pee-ing the bed, I can't force him to quit. Does anyone have any advice?

    Bookmark   March 9, 2011 at 10:39PM
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My nine year old wets the bed every night. She is on a combinatin of meds and they do not help. I have tried everything even traveling to specialist. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Bookmark   December 19, 2012 at 8:37PM
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