What to do???
Long story short...
My daughter has severe anxiety and has just started therapy once a week. There was a 6-month waiting list at the Children's Center, but she got in within a week. She's 17 and in the 12th grade. She moved to stay with my brother and his wife 3 weeks ago because of the stress at home. DH was always criticizing her and stuff. We had a big blow out one day and we all talked a lot. She said he made her feel like whatever she did, it was never good enough. He always wanted things done his way. He preaches a lot. He doesn't see it that way. He sees it as teaching her ways of doing things. Anyways... the outcome of his actions caused her to feel inadequate, low self-esteem, stress, etc. She was also bullied in elementary school.
My question is... she gets lots of "homework" in therapy, has missed a lot of school days in past 2-3 weeks because she was not mentally strong enough and has had a few panic attacks that really set her back. She's just starting to get on track a little bit. Tonight she called to say she didn't want to go to school tomorrow because she's really tired physically and mentally, and wants to take the day tomorrow to catch up on her school work and read all her therapy literature. She has hard time sleeping. She's been to family doc to check out her physicall health and all.
Her concern tonight was that she was stressed out and concerned that my brother would ask her to leave if she didn't go to school cuz her dad told her that my brother was only in agreement that she stay there if she goes to school. I explained to her that my brother wasn't in agreement with home schooling cuz he didn't want her to isolate herself downstairs all day and night and get depressed. That all he is asking is that she make an effort to help herself concerning therapy and school. (daughter wanted to do home schooling for a few months)
Teacher/parent day is coming up in a few days. I want to explain to her teachers that she's in weekly therapy and has a lot of homework to do and that her therapy homework has to be number 1 right now so if they could extend deadlines or whatever as far as her school work is concerned. Her teachers only know that she is dealing with health and home issues. My husband thinks that I should stay out of it and let her tell her teachers. He said that it would be "controlling". The way I see it is that a lot lof kids will say a lot of things to get away with deadlines and stuff, this way, if they hear from the parent, they'll believe it. And also, the principal is always telling parent to get involved in their children's school issues and let teachers know what is going on if there are problems so they know how to better help your kids.
I also figure that it's no big deal if I talk to her teachers about it, and it would help her have less stress as far as school is concerned. One less thing on her plate to deal with right now.
So... should I stay out of it or is it okay for me to tell her teachers or should she be the one to do it?