believerOctober 3, 2008

A friend of someone that my son goes to school with committed suicide either yesterday or today. His dad is a fireman and was one of the people that had to respond to the call.

I just wanted to post this so that all parents can watch their teens. These things seem to happen in groups. When one teen does it the rest that have been thinking about it see it as a green light.

My daughter tried it several years ago..Thank God she changed her mind before it was too late.

Please with your kids. I just needed to say this.

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Thanks for that comment. It is a thing to watch with teens, it's such a scary thought, isn't it.

I saw a show recently about a teen who killed herself. Lovely girl, nice school, nice family.

Turned out she had depression, she kept a diary. She was so ashamed of feeling sad, she thought it was a sign of weakness, so she didn't bring it up with her parents.

Very sad story.

I think it's important to talk about how they feel.

My son has been moody lately, he is 16, and I have tried to bring up the topic of feelings, but it's very tricky. They just clam up!

I guess a good thing to say is "are you feeling sad?".

What do others think - what is a good way to talk about feelings and sadness, with teens, especially boys ?


    Bookmark   October 4, 2008 at 4:41AM
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Hello popi...I am not an expert by any means when it comes to this. But I can give you my suggestions. If you feel you should talk to a professional please do so.....I would let DS know that you have noticed his change in moods lately and that you are concerned about him. Letting him know that you are not judging him nor do you want to criticize him. You are just concerned. Is there something with a friend, a teacher, school work or perhaps something within himself that is bothering him. he nervous or anxious about things, afraid now that he is growing up and getting closer to graduation. Maybe his friends are moving in a direction with their behavior that makes him uncomfortable....Is he on the computer a lot? Does he have a "My Space" account? Watch those things if you can....check the history of the computer that he has been on and see what type of sites he visits.

Let him know that you are there for him NO MATTER WHAT. and that he can come to you anytime, night or day to talk, to have you listen.

I know that many parents feel that the privacy of a teen is a sacred thing and many would not cross the line of reading emails or diaries......I would if I saw change in them. Like the show that you just watched. The girl expressed her feelings in her diary...I would rather she be mad at me then not alive....I wish you well with your son. Mine is 16 also and this is a difficult time for young men. We talk A LOT!.

    Bookmark   October 4, 2008 at 6:54PM
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You're exactly right. One suicide often leads to others. The statistics show that once there's one suicide in a family, the odds go up astronomically that there will be another. Unfortunately, in my husband's family, there have been 6 (maybe 7) suicides over the years.

Normally, we see suicide as unthinkable, something so wrong, that we shouldn't ever consider it. But once someone you know (friend or family) has committed suicide, it ceases to be an unthinkable act and becomes a viable solution to ones' problems.

I'm a strong proponent of ANYONE who has been touched by suicide getting the appropriate counselling. Of course, that's so hard with teens--they are so closed down at times, so reluctant to let others in. If that's the case, then it cannot hurt for the parents to sit down with a knowledgeable counsellor to learn what they can do to help.

    Bookmark   October 13, 2008 at 9:05AM
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