Blinded fault ?
Was not sure what to post as a subject.
I've had this thought several times and have been wondering about it. How some parents are actually at fault for the estrangement but don't even realize it. In their opinion, they did nothing wrong and it's ALL their kids fault!
Example, my aunt's kids all moved far away from her as soon as they could and don't "go out of their way" to call her or visit her. They treat her like they would a stranger. She has no idea why. Has no idea that all her yelling, screaming, and slaps during their "growing up" years have actually had an effect on them and this is why they don't want her in their lives. It was emotional abuse!
Unfortunately, my sister has done the same thing to her kids. When I mentioned to her about how she yells all the time (even to her dog!), she denied it. Everyone in the family knows how much she yells. Her yelling has pushed all her family (husband and kids) away from her. Her youngest son is so full of anger that he's slowing destroying his life with drugs and alcohol. Her other child moved to another city and talks about how her mom's yelling has emotionally scarred her.
How could both these women not see how these estrangements are actually their fault? When you tell them why, they deny it and don't see what the "big deal" is... they don't see the emotional abuse they caused.