Estranged mother's upcoming funeral....
I had not spoken to my parents for 7 years. Since I had my daughter 10 years ago. I had not let my father anywhere near my daughter although my son now eighteen has always had a relationship with their grandparents.
I asked my mother 7 years ago, had she wondered why I never let my daughter near my father and she said she had wondered. I told her that as a child my father had interefered with me and I needed to protect my daughter from him. My mother denied it and turned the whole family against me. They labelled my father as the 'victim'. They told me it was disgraceful for accusing my father of such a thing. So, I left town and started a whole new life for myself and my 2 children. My son has left home and life is just myself and my 10 year old daughter.
I knew my mother was dying as my son has stayed in their life. My daughter wanted to know why I did not let her see her grandparents and I told her she was too young to know. This morning my ex husband called me to tell me that my mother had passed away this morning. I shed a few tears, felt a bit wobbly and then explained to my daughter what had happened and why she was not allowed to see them. She said she understood that I wanted to protect her, but then got upset that her brother knew them and she would never see her gran.
I will probably go to the funeral for closure but my mother knew a lot of people and they are all against me. My whole family have more or less disowned me (I am 41 not a child) I do not like situations where there is hostility especially when I have every right to be there. Actually, my son phoned me a few months ago and then handed my mother the phone, she sounded like a stranger and I did not want to talk to her whilst she explained that she had inoperable cancer. I pretended the situation was not happening. My ex husband knows my story but says I am a cold hearted ***** for not caring. She always shouted when I was a child - 'don't ever make me choose between you and your father because it will be your father every time!'. I will never forget those cruel words. From the outside, people saw them as a nice couple and they were quite popular.
I am wondering what sort of person am I to worry about what these people think of me, when I have just been told that the person who gave birth to me is lying in the mortuary on a cold slab. I feel numb.
My mother never showed any remorse and just stayed out of my life.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?