Money, mom, husband and guilt
Please help me. My mom is making me feel guilty and other feelings for giving up our 1986 boat. She has helped us with a huge repair bill 8 yrs ago and has been on the boat more weekends than we have alone the past 5 yrs. I lost my job in 2009 and now only a part timer. Capt lost his job the next yr after 34 yrs and now has a low paying job, with benes, I have no benes. The cost of keeping our 28 yr old boat is $5200 yr. Mom has decided NOW to give us this $5000 to keep the boat and the slip. Capt cannot/will not do the repairs/work to keep this boat. I agree, we cannot keep this boat/too much work for age/health. The boat is in the most beautiful spot and we will not be able to have this slip but will remain members at the club and enjoy it, just not stay on the boat there at the club. I am torn between the mom and capt. What can I say to both or either of them? This weekend we bought a small camper with mom in mind for her bed and she totally exploded on me, cried and offered to pay for the slip and guilt trip. Her back is hurting her with arthritis and she probably won't be able to take long trips in the comfy truck only shorter rides. But we cannot keep this boat. I had warned her at the beginning of the summer and actually told her of our plans to buy a small camper. I guess she didn't think it was real.
Now what do I say ? We are committed to the camper and I'm feeling happy and have a go forward attitude with my husband, but she is smarter and is saying you will regret this and presenting scenarios that may happen and telling us that we will regret it. I am so torn between them. I guess also a little more info is that my brother lives with her. He is super smart, healthy, drinks too much and does not have a job. She enables him and he lives with her and somewhat takes care of her and she buys his drinks and cigarettes but has at times, given me attitude about buying wine for the boat for our weekend. My other sister died at 49 yrs old from cigarettes and drinking; cancer.
My husband and I have always worked, always paid for everything ourselves and always been conservative. The camper will be hard for us moneywise, but it is a step forward and something different that we want to do and I'm feeling so torn and hurt.
Any advice, thoughts, suggestions and links would be so very helpful. Thank you and bless you.