Recalcitrant parents at DS Saturday Sport

popi_gwOctober 16, 2006

I have a little dilemma concerning my DS's sport matches on Saturday mornings.

The game he plays is cricket, so there are 12 boys, and associated parents. My issue is with scoring, as I am the one that usually scores, with another mum. This is quite an arduous procedure, as the game goes for 3 hours, and every ball has to be recorded, so it is very draining, and easy to get distracted.

My beef is that when I mention that perhaps other people should do the scoring occasionally, every parent seems to come up with an excuse, as to why they cant.

I would like some creative solution to this situation, so I can sit back and watch the game,( or even stay at home in bed ! )and share the scoring with other parents. I am getting increasingly annoyed about this predicament, and feel that the scoring load needs to shared around.

BTW my DH coaches the team.

Lots of suggestions so I can implement them on Saturday, would be GREATLY appreciated.



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Well Popi, since I know NOTHING about Cricket (we played it once in school, silly me tried to catch the ball, BOY WAS THAT STUPID, IT STUNG MY HAND SOMETHING FIERCE), I will tell you what I did with girl scouts and ask some questions.

Is it HARD to learn how to score? I ask because that can deter parents.

In girlscouts when I got sick of figureing out what to do EVERY meeting, I met with all the parents and ASSIGNED a week that was theirs to decide what they wanted to do and how to do it. First I let them pick their week, then those that didn't sign up, I "assigned" (Okay I said I have this week and this week open, which do you want...didn't give them a choice, but did). I said I'd help, if they needed ideas. The girls ran with the ideas. Of course this is a little different. BUT could you have a parents meeting and do the same thing. Here are the game days, I need all parents to sign up to keep score. It will take two parents per game. One gets the first 1/2 one gets the second, that way both gets to watch their child play. Once they start, it is likely they'll continue, and someone will step up to the plate to help when someone doesn't show up. If someone doesn't sign up, you catch them after. If they work schedule doesn't permit me to be consistent at games, you say...great, then I'll put you down as a back-up. If someone is sick and can't score, if you're there for the game, I know I can count on you to help. Keep it positive!!! (at the same time have them sign up to bring the snacks!!!)


    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 8:25AM
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Simply say..."I can't be here next game, Margaret will you do the scoring?" and don't show up...or come late.
Linda C

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 11:32AM
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Thanks Vicky and Linda.

It is hard to learn to score, and I think that puts people off, but I did it so why cant they !

LOL, yes, the cricket ball is very hard. Its like a rock!

I will take advice on board, and tackle this issue on Saturday.

The problem with me not turning up, is that the problem then becomes my DH, and he has enough to do with organising the boys. He also umpires, and he asked another Dad to so some umpiring last Saturday, and he said "NO"!

I am disappointed at how other parents just dont think they need to help out, whats wrong with them !


    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 6:15PM
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The thing is...( as I am learning daily...even after many years of "volunteering") Is just say " Sorry, I can't do everything"...or "sorry, I am over extended, I am sure you understand"...or "I am sorry, but I can't do my best when given short notice, and, like you, I always want to do my best". dumps on your you have a choice....either just do it, even though it's not fair that you do it all, but recognizing the fact that if you don't do it, it won't get done.....or just say "I'm sorry....I can't" and let the chips fall where they may.
I do it both ways....those things I really REALLY want done I just do and don't complain....other things, I take my turn....
Not fair...but that's the way it is.
Linda C

    Bookmark   October 16, 2006 at 9:13PM
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It seems like at that age maybe the scoring should be left to paid officials. I don't know much about the game or anything about the scoring, but I wouldn't want to be drafted to have to keep score or referee a sporting event for my son especially since I have to take care of a toddler at the games. Do most sporting events in your community count on parental involvement for score keeping -- refereeing, etc. I would think parental scoring may not even be considered "fair" by some. Does the other team have a separate score keeper? How do the other teams do it?

I still feel for you that you have to handle it all. Who would normally be involved in the scheduling the scorekeepers and who would you tell if you really couldn't make a game? Is there an Athletic Director or someone from the school that should be handling the scheduling of it?

If it is your husband's responsibility since he's coach I would just have him send out a letter telling everyone they have to score (or find someone to score) for "this number of" games and that they should put down their first, second, and third choice of dates. Preferences will be given in order of receipt (or by lottery), and dates may be assigned that are not requested. Make sure to note that it is their responsiblity to switch dates with someone or find a substitute if needed.

Although, I still think that having the parents pitch in some cash and hiring a paid score keeper (even a kid) may be the best answer. Maybe you could individually give them the option to pay for a scorer, or to just do the scoring themselves.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 12:19AM
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Thanks Linda for your words, good advice there.

Carla, with the scoring for cricket, each team has a scorer and we sit together, making sure it all agrees, and balances. All the teams score in this way, in junior grades. I think your letter idea is a good one, I had thought of that myself.

I would be happy to do all the scoring myself IF I WAS PAID !

To tell you the truth, I consider it a great achievement for me to have taught myself to score, its very complicated. I have gone from someone who HATES cricket, and thought it was so boring, to someone who knows all about it. But I guess that has something to do with the fact that my little boy plays it !

Did you know that the test matches, go for 5 days ! Its a funny old game, but there are billions of people in the world who are obsessed with it.

Thanks everyone, its nice chatting to you.


    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 3:17AM
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Well, have any parent "stepped up to the plate" as the saying here in the US goes?


    Bookmark   October 26, 2006 at 6:54PM
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Well Ms Vicky, thankyou for enquiring about my scoring dilemma, in a nutshell, no.

Although I am going to ask people tomorrow, just say a few words, individually. Hopefully my calm, happy, approach will real me in some scorers. Else I might take my bat and ball and just go home and leave them to it.

Would you believe the first week they played the temperature was 40 degrees celsius, which is about 100F, then the second saturday it was arctic conditions and I froze. Crazy weather. Global warming is here.

Popi from downunder

    Bookmark   October 27, 2006 at 12:13AM
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