need help with teenage daughter
Hi, I'm new to this board and have almost posted a couple of times but talked myself out of it.
I've just about reached the end of my rope with my 14 year old. She is an only child and I'm a single parent. She rarely lifts a finger to help out and when I ask her to do something, she raises such a stink about it that I always regret asking. I don't always back down, but sometimes I do.
When she was much younger she did some pretty wierd stuff and it all came down to her extreme laziness. We had knats flying around and finally discovered that they were coming from behind the sofa where she was dropping apple cores, plum pits, cantaloup rinds, grapes, you name it. The trash can was just too far away. The funny thing is that she was so embarrased when her little hideaway was discovered. A few months later I set a playstation up for her in an extra room and told her that I did not want a mess in there. She agreed but then a few weeks later I found the same kind of stash. I got rid of the playstation.
To this day I still find apple cores strewn about. I've found dirty dishes under the bed and in the closet, with rotting salad no less! I will call her from where ever she is to pick it up and clean it up. Nowadays, with the commencement of her period, she had added bloody pads to her list of things that are just too difficult to throw in the trash. I kid you not! The other day I went to use the bathroom and found one right there at the base of the toilet. I picked it up and put it on her pillow. I just don't know what to do anymore. I asked her today what she thought about that and she looked surprized. She said she never saw anything on her pillow. It's probably under the bed now. Sorry to be so graphic and talk about gross stuff.
I tried to talk to her about it again this evening. I explained that it is almost impossible for me to work at home surrounded by the messes that she must always be told to clean up. I get a little depressed. She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders and said she would try. Sometimes I just feel like I need to get away. Do you have any advice for me? Is it too late? Please help me!