...and the insanity continues

ScreamingHurtSeptember 15, 2012

Today, the oldest "dropped by", wearing a hijab, with her new puppy and live-in fiancee.

We live in an ultra conservative, gun-toting-state. We are devout Christians. We are descendants of a long line of current & former U.S. military veterans. We grieved this week over the 9/11 anniversary and the brutal killings of our Foreign Service Officers in Libya. We continue to lament the recent attacks on U.S. consulates in the middle east. We remain concerned for the safety of our brothers & sisters serving abroad in light of the ongoing upheaval and the general anti-American sentiment in the middle-east.

So when she cascades into our home dressed like a Muslim woman, it put us off for two reasons.

1) We are concerned for HER. We are not sure how other people might respond to her hijab. Some people are "on edge" about recent events in the middle-east; Some people in this community are xenophobic; some people are just plain ignorant.

2) I interpreted her hijab just the way she meant it: A DEFIANT MIDDLE FINGER IN YOUR FACE! This is her way of objecting to our out-spoken, patriotism.

I'm an American and I believe in and will continue to defend anyone's First Amendment rights. Even when I disagree with the content or manner of expression. But this was personal, there is no First Amend. right in a private home.

I did not raise this disrespectful ingrate. Our predecessors would be shocked and saddened by her rejection of our family's values and creeds but they would respect her right to do so. But should it be done in such a disrespectful and immature manner?

The "fiancee" can barely look me in the eye because HE KNOWS how inappropriate her behavior is. He also knows how inappropriate his own behavior is, but that is a different story for a different day on a different post.

The worst part: her puppy relieves himself-TWICE-on the floor and she does not bother to clean the mess!

I'm not angry with her, but her behavior saddens me. Her behavior is distasteful and unfortunate. I will love her from a distance as I wait for her to mature a little more.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

The youngest (age 16) started his new job last week and is already planning to spend his entire first paycheck on the latest mobile phone! He knows this is unwise. He asked for my opinion but that was not a hill upon which I wanted to die. It seemed best to re frame the questions, and suggest he do a cost-benefit analysis. I left it at that because I already know, that if he buys the phone, the pleasure will be fleeting and he will ruminate for weeks over all the other ways he could have spent the money.
I don't mind his dilemma so much because at least he is THINKING! He is taking steps to make a conscious, well-reasoned decision. I'm proud of him for this.
He appreciates nice things. He is a hard worker, a diligent saver and wise spender. Everything of value that he owns, he worked for it.
I pray his motivation to have nice things does not corrupt his integrity.

    Bookmark   September 17, 2012 at 4:34PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Now the middle child... He traded university for THREE jobs, a turbulent romantic relationship, and a beautiful but fussy newborn. He allowed a 17yrold temporary girlfriend to compromise his future, her future and the future of their child.
Her parents were understandably livid! They demanded that she have an abortion immediately or that he marry her and support her immediately!
A few weeks before that, he was living the life. He lived in a first-rate dorm at university, with a first-rate meal plan and a nice car. His biggest concern was getting to class on time and finding time to study. But then, the pregnancy changed all of that!
Now he barely has time to sleep and think. He works 10-12hour days 6 or 7 days a week. The girlfriend is always whining about something-legitimately most of the time. The baby has been constipated for weeks because the girlfriend insists on second-rate baby formula despite the results.

It is all so hard to watch. Like a bad drama/dark comedy and bad horror movie all rolled into one.
How do I know this: because they moved in with me...
The three of them had moved in while I was on vacation! Isn't that "SPECIAL"???

All in all, I'm proud of the "middle child" because he stood up and did the right thing even when it seemed like it would have been "easier" or "more convenient" to abort his baby.
He was adamantly opposed to his girlfriend's family's "solution" to abort. He was willing to place the child for adoption, but abortion was not an option. Ironically, under the twisted logic of the girlfriend's family, abortion was ideal but adoption was "out of the question"!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2012 at 3:22PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Teacher won't answer my question
This is pretty straightforward. My daughters' teacher...
A harness for a child that old ?
Looking for a safety harness to keep an escapist toddler...
estrangement from adult children
There seems to be a very common thread with all these...
parents of estranged adult children
I too have been where all of you are. I am so happy...
Normal Behaviour?
I'll keep this short... is it normal that 10 year olds...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™