I watched a tv show last night about rage and why people go into rages, and what to do about it. I am talking about angry outbursts that can lead to extreme events such as violence.
One point that really stuck with me is that when a person feels that they are not being heard, this can be one of the contributing factors to an angry outburst.
Hearing this took me back to my teenage daughter, many years ago, we had had a difficult time with the normal teen problems. She was upset about something and stormed off to her bedroom,slamming her door, I was also upset, so I thought it best to let her calm down. I went into her room a little later on, and she had torn off every poster from her wall and torn them into tiny pieces, there was little bits of paper everywhere. She was sitting on the floor sobbing.
I realize, now, that her rage was because she felt she was not being heard, I can see this so clearly now, and it makes me feel very sad that I didn't know that then.
Perhaps this can help others in their communication with their children. In understanding why they do things.
It's amazing when you have the benefit of hindsight, you can clearly see how you should have managed things a bit better.