is this common?
I have a question. Do parents of grown children come to their homes and cook every meal and clean the houses of their children if they visit? Is this a commonly expected duty by grown children of their parents?
Last year I visited my son and his fiance'. I was a guest in their home and this was my first visit, and only the third time I had ever been around her. I was there for a week (longer than I wanted to be, but my son had driven down to pick me up and I had no car while there).
Over the next 9 months, I could tell she was somewhat cool to me because most times when I emailed her, she did not return my emails, and when I would call her cell phone or their home number (she was not working) there would be no answer. I asked my son what was wrong.
Well, I recently found out. It seems that when I visited last year, I was expected by her to cook a dinner meal every night and to clean their house. The way I found this out was to receive a scathing email telling me how ashamed I should be of myself for coming to their home and not doing this. I was stunned, to say the least. In talking with my son, it appears she told him to tell me she expected me to do those things, but he did not. He said it is what she is accustomed to.
I told my son I was being held to a standard no one told me was expected, and it deprived me of the right to say whether or not I would cook and clean when I visited (I likely would not have, but I did offer to help cook dinner and I did clean up after myself).
My question after this long story is--how common is this? My son (and her in her email) says that when her parents visit they do everything around the house. As a host, I would never expect that out of anyone, especially my own mother or mother-in-law. When you are a guest in my home, you are exactly that, a GUEST.
My son is 32 and his now wife is 26.
Do you parents out there cook and clean for your grown children when you come to visit?