adoptive mother is domineering

Seamer1September 29, 2004

My daughter recently had a relationship with a boy who was adopted at the age of about 3. He just turned 16. His mother is so controlling, that he can't go anyplace or do anything. Playing sports is the exception. Everytime they would tak on the phone his mother would come in his room and smart off to him about him talking to my dd. and say things like Make her quit calling you. My daughter got fed up with his mother being so hateful and controlling, and they broke up. She has beenaway for a while now, but still has feeling for him. She called his house the other night, to see if he got the b-day card she sent to him. When his mother found out she had called, she called my dd and told her off, and told her to never call again. The mother acts like a jealous girlfriend. Anyone have any experiences with a problem like this?

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adellabedella_usa

This may not be what you want to hear, but I'd tell your daughter stay away from the boy and quit calling him. If the boy is really interested in her, he'll make some of the moves like calling your daughter or doing things outside of sports. For whatever reason, the mom doesn't like your daughter and doesn't want her son involved with her. If you feel the mom's actions are unhealthy and unwarranted (sp?), then that isn't a relationship you would want your daughter to be involved in anyway.

    Bookmark   October 1, 2004 at 4:58PM
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bnicebkind

I am in agreement with Adellabadella on this one. Your daughter needs to stop calling the boy, regardless of her feelings for him! If he is really interested in her, and is strong enough to stand up to his mother, then this is a situation where he should put forth "ALL" of the effort to pursue her. Do you really want her to be in a relationship at sixteen? At such a young age, with her tender feelings and self esteem emerging, she would do better with friends and their families who genuinely enjoy her. And it may be a worthwhile lesson for her to learn not to keep calling boys, but to let them pursue her instead.

    Bookmark   October 2, 2004 at 4:23PM
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janetwilson

I agree w/the above poster. I NEVER called a boy, even if we were dating. My father told me that a boy will think you are easy if you call them. It's much better to be pursued than to be the pursuer.

I have a preteen daughter (age 12) and I've given her the same advice. Girls don't call boys. That may sound old fashioned, but it always worked for me!

    Bookmark   October 6, 2004 at 2:49PM
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