how to handle disrespect
Hi. I could use some advice on dealing with my 12 year old daughter. I have been trying to get her to stop being disrespectful to me since she was 8. For the first couple years I tried consequences (no TV, no phone calls...) - that didn't seem to work. Then I tried modeling respectful behavior by calmly explaining to her that talking to me that way isn't acceptable (& not following up with a consequence) - that didn't work. I'm back to consequences, this time thinking they need to be more severe (like she lost going to a school party last night for yelling at me). Is it unreasonable for me to expect her to not talk back and scream at me (shouting things like "I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN UP!" etc)??? Her tone of voice and volume seem so disrespectful to me. My husband and I very rarely raise our voices to screaming level with the kids, but I think we do say things firmly. My husband and I don't yell at each other and I think we have a good relationship so I don't know where my daughter is getting it from. My daughter is much more disrespectful to me (a stay at home mom) than my husband, although she is disrespectful to him at times, but it doesn't bother him the way it does me.
Thanks for any help.