22 year-old menally ill son severe anger

kali48August 10, 2009

I am extremely worried about my son...He has been diagnosed with bi-polar, depression, anxiety, OCD, possible schizophrenis, and as of three days ago post-traumatic stress. With this last diagnosis, he gave up his personable self completely and only speaks using the "f" words, he is angry, especially at me-claims I abused him,5 out of 6 ways. Similar delusions happened when he was a teen...claimed he was fed only fritos,etc..., his father belt whipped him, etc....is this truth to him?...anyway, the rooming house he now stays in will close in four days, despite much help from me, he does not have a place to stay (the last time he stayed at my house for a year he broke all rules-abusive to his sister, fires, nocturnal with slam music all night, door smashing, etc....) I had planned a vacation with my younger son but now "Tom" my 22-year old said he will just move into my house while I'm out of town...He called me today and said, "give me the phone number, you "f"ng "B", I can do whatever I want." Also his sister, age 21, will return home from a trip while I plan to be out of town...I am worried he will hurt someone, himself, get in jail, etc....I did leave a mesage for his Dr.-the only one in the area that takes Medicaid and the one who diagnosed him as post-traumatic stress.

Probably I should skip the trip....not sure yet, my yougest child to consider also....ideas? thanks so much for listeing, Kali

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I'm sure that unless your youngest is completely unreasonable he will understand if, given the circumstances, you postpone your vacation.
I sure wouldn't be going away and leaving the field clear for your 22-y.o. to potentially wreak havoc if he decides to go down that road. Wait until things settle down before going away.

    Bookmark   August 11, 2009 at 3:10AM
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Hi Kali,

Sorry to hear about this. I agree with the previous advice about postponing your vacation given the circumstances.

I don't know whether or not you are aware of resources that may be of help in dealing with your situation. I would recommend that you consider finding a support group and start with NAMI (the national alliance on mental illness). It would be very helpful to you to start seeking out help and information about dealing with someone with delusional behavior.

For the record most people who demonstrate the behaviors that your son is do not feel or think that they are mentally ill or that they suffer delusions and they do not like the label as most people wouldn't. It's difficult to reason with them as well, because they do not know that they need help.

It may help you to seek out other people in similar situations who can offer support and empathy. I've been in this situation before. Lack of understanding from others and inappropriate responses makes the situation much worse. It's not an easy situation for anyone.

Best of luck to you...

Here is a link that might be useful: National Alliance on Mental Illness

    Bookmark   August 11, 2009 at 12:11PM
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Thank you both so much for responding...My family members and I have been dealing with my son's mental illness for many years now, lots of psych ward visits, constant med changes, etc...I have more information than I can swallow, but based on this advise, I will try NAMI again...the Illinois place never called me back, the Wisc. place did, but only meet once a week...when I was always "booked," with other kid stuff or work, will have to adjust my schedule if this could help my son and my family.
Thank, Kali

    Bookmark   August 11, 2009 at 5:48PM
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Hi Kali,

You're welcome. Definitely try NAMI again. They probably are underfunded and lack help. Also many of the people who do help volunteer. Where I live they held a class called, Family to Family (I think that is what it is called) and it was comprised of family members dealing with these issues. The class was free of charge, but it did last for many weeks. I found it very helpful, because only people who are dealing with similar situations can empathize about how it feels. My situation was unique, but I did find some people in the group who could relate or tried too and they didn't make the situation more painful than what I had to contend with already.

A lot of people just have zero empathy or compassion and due to their ignorance--they say and do the wrong things, which are not helpful and create more problems.

As to your question about delusions, YES it is the truth to them and very real. You cannot argue with them about it and this behavior will only make the situation worse, because what is happening is very real to them. It is a very frustrating situation to be in and one can feel very helpless.

So yes, I urge you to try NAMI again. I think it would be beneficial to everyone in your family...

Best of luck to you...

    Bookmark   August 12, 2009 at 3:43PM
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